AIBU to think that if a midday assistant at school feels it necessary to shout at my 6 yr old, I should have been informed?

[laluna]

DS came out of class crying saying he had been yelled at by the MDA and he didn't understand why.

He explained to me that there had been a bit if a falling out in his group of friends and she shouted at them.

If my child does something wrong, I am not precious about him and the situation should be death with accordingly by the person in charge. No issue with that. But AIBU to think that yelling is not really appropriate and if the situation is really that bad, I should be involved?? Am a bit cross and have asked the school to clarify the position.

We were talking about mums ringing today, because we absolutely can't even confirm that said child is even a student at the university.

Which can get awkward and difficult to maintain as a position!

Then we would say something like 'in cases where parents are having difficulty contacting their children, we recommend that....' [whatever relevant course of action is taken...]. But really, once you start saying 'ah yes, Josh, I know him' or, even worse 'ah yes, Josh, no I haven't seen him lately either', you could get into all sorts of trouble with estranged parents, people with court orders etc.

And I never knew this until very recently - I shudder to think of the trouble I could have been in!

So the moral is: mums, butt out!

A similar thing happened to my 6 yr old dd last week, she came out of school in tears as she had been shouted at at dinner time, because some other children were being silly.

I explained calmly the concept of 'being in the wrong place at the wrong time' how that being shouted out didn't really matter, (she has worse from me) and in the kindest possible way told her to get a grip.

I work in a school and had a LSA come into the office demanding something with the closing line 'I can't believe I've got to do this, I've got a degree', I just passed her what she needed and said 'haven't we all'. We also have had parents of NQTs phone in to tell us they can't make it in (my favourite was that their darling son wouldn't make it in because it was 'a bit icey')

Keeping a Company Director's diary isn't menial. In the civil service the staff who keep diaries for ministers are quite senior, it's a responsible part of the job.

It's on my CV.

To be honest LaQueen, if in your own words there have been other similar incidents with people DH has recruited, he may want to look at his recruitment procedures or the way he treats his staff.

Working in academia, I know that parents DO call up on behalf of their children to make sure they're going to lectures and completing coursework and we do tell them to sod off that we can't confirm anything. We've even had them call up the Library to complain about their PFBs fines for losing or never bringing books back and demanding that we let them off - we don't. But I've been recruting people for over 15 years now and I've never, ever in all my time as a manager had someone behave as you describe.

Some of you are harsh I tell you HARSH! He's 6 not 14- he's still a baby!! Id be upset if my 6yr old was upset (but fully admit to babying him!)

Where do you think all those people end up working, babyheave?
They're out there somewhere.

LaQueen, does your husband not have his own PA at his successful publishing company? Having worked for both Condé Nast and NatMags pre children, all directors/managers had PA and a secretarial pool, along with office juniors for each publication, so the graduate trainees could, you know, do what they've joined a graduate trainee scheme for. Or is your husband's successful publishing firm just a small one with a couple of employees only?

I just find it a bit odd, either said graduate was employed as a sec/PA, in which case diary management and coffee making is part of the deal. Or, employed in a training role of some kind, where surely training is the operative word and not office skivvy/PA etc.

Maybe it's just the companies I worked for that worked like this. I don't know about small provincial print companies as it wasn't my thing.

LaQueen then maybe your dh is not reading between the lines carefully enough in references?
He can't be employing people with no work experience whatsoever, unless he is really short of applicants and is scraping the barrel.
Even student references will frequently give you a clue - you can't say for the less good candidate, 'This student has no independence whatsoever and thinks the world owes him a living' but for the good ones you can write a few glowing sentences about how mature and self-motivated somebody was in their approach to learning.

Possibly he could also make more use of the interview to make sure he and the candidate are on the same page about expectations in the workplace.
Or perhaps he has learnt his lesson and does that now

I don't know if it's just the school I work in but the Midday supervisors at our school shout all the time. I don't think it's a good way to deal with things but that's just what they do.
If I was told every time a dinner lady had shouted at one of the children it would take hours and end of the day I would have no idea who had/ had not been shouted at by a dinner lady!

Years ago I worked with someone (A) who always got either her mum or boyfriend to ring in sick on her behalf. A lived with her boyfriend in their own place. I always thought it was odd when her mum rang in for her because A would've had to have phoned her mum in order for her mum to phone us.

The thread title is bringing back surprising fond memories of "Killer", our primary school dinner lady....

Yelling is frowned upon in schools though, and if she is a bit shouty generally, rather than as a one off, a quiet word with the teacher wouldn't be out of order really.

I'm an MDA and must admit to shouting maybe once or even twice a lunchtime - usually at the same kids yet again...

the ones who think it is funny to try to punch someone, deliberately kick legs instead of football, or put mud in coat-hoods, or choose to do a running jump into a puddle as their chosen "victim" walks by. "Come right here...... NOW" works a treat......

But generally - after 6 years "the look" is enough to stop usually good kids even thinking about doing bad.... sometimes has to be accompanied by a slow head shake.... or even.....horror of horrors.... an eyebrow raise - you would be AMAZED at the power of a raised eyebrow across a noisy playground.

Ah, I see. A start at the bottom as an office junior and maybe move up sort of thing? Like I said, I've not worked for a small publisher and things were very different for grads that we hired. I don't much see the point of a degree requirement for roles like that, rather hire an eager school leaver and train them to do it your way.