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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to put something disgusting in the milk

115 replies

ariane5 · 14/03/2013 23:15

For the past 3 weeks somebody has stolen the 2 pints I get delivered from my doorstep each friday.

Iam so tempted to mix something horrible in with the half a pint I have in fridge, stick lid back on neatly and put it out for the morning.

AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
ariane5 · 14/03/2013 23:50

Odd though that its only the friday 2 pints.never the mon or wed when we get 1 pint.

We have no money and a few weeks ago were really desperate but I wouldn't steal.

OP posts:
LadyBigtoes · 14/03/2013 23:52

Fair enough. I know I am a bleeding heart liberal! But my point is whoever stole it, it might not be just them drinking it, so take care.

MechanicalTheatre · 14/03/2013 23:55

Please please please catch them at it and tell us the story. Wankers. Who the fuck DOES that?

WorraLiberty · 14/03/2013 23:58

Funnily enough I had a pint nicked last Tuesday...first time in about 10yrs.

My milko is lovely though and didn't charge me.

He's taken to hiding it behind the wheelie bin now...so I have to venture out further in my onesie Blush

ThingummyBob · 15/03/2013 00:00

Eye drops (well eye rinse I suppose - something like optrex) will give them shits Grin

Many years ago on a certain cross channel ferry company we used to add it to drinks being purchased by twats Wink
I was led to believ it is harmless after the initial passing through stage.

thebody · 15/03/2013 00:00

Gosh, I actually haven't seen a milkman since 1987.

How lovely.

Original poster
ariane5 · 15/03/2013 00:01

I don't want to poison anybody def not! I am just annoyed it is being stolen I was thinking more of something nasty tasting than dangerous.

OP posts:
midastouch · 15/03/2013 00:01

Do it OP!!! Will put them off doing it again, well hopefully. And tell us what happens!

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 15/03/2013 00:08

Try white vinegar....

Crikeyblimey · 15/03/2013 00:08

Many many years ago we had the village shop. My dad used to keep the crates of pop bottles in a shed type place. Anyway, he knew some was going missing and suspected local kids. So he collected a crate full of empty coke bottles and refilled them with gravy browning and water. They stopped going missing after that :)

I'd be really tempted to cancel one of your Friday deliveries and put 2 pints of cornflour and water (or other milky coloured liquid) out on Thursday night and see what happens.

OutragedFromLeeds · 15/03/2013 00:13

'Leeds what if she gets the actual milkman'

Grin Perhaps the milk thief is dressed as a milkman and rides round in a milk float....the perfect disguise.

HeadfirstForHalos · 15/03/2013 00:17

I would have to get up early and catch the thief! it would drive me mad not knowing. Make a citizens arrest and update us, pleease Grin

LuisGarcia · 15/03/2013 00:19

Put a post it note where the milkman leaves them saying "Dear thief, I know who you are and have laced one of these bottles with laxative. I know which bottle. Have fun!"

Original poster
ariane5 · 15/03/2013 00:20

Can you still do a citizens arrest? What do you have to say does it have to be something very specific to make the arrest legal?!

I'm getting my best dressing gown ready for this and setting my alarm for 445am. DH thinks I'm mad.

OP posts:
ripsishere · 15/03/2013 00:22

OOOh, how exciting. I would be furious mainly because of the cost.
Since your DH is able to walk over to the shop, couldn't he go the night before? since delivery is so expensive - voila, I've solved your problem and saved you some money.

Original poster
ariane5 · 15/03/2013 00:29

It is a bit more expensive but I prefer milk in glass bottles to plastic (fussy I know!).

If it continues like this though milk from plastic bottle is better than no milk so might have to do just that ripsishere

OP posts:
ThingummyBob · 15/03/2013 00:41

Rips, milkmen are a dying breed don't persuade OP to stop using hers Shock

My milko is vair lovely and shops for old dears etc in bad weather too. Sometimes little arseholes steal milk directly from the float too. Milk theft is a much under-reported crime imvho!

SquinkiesRule · 15/03/2013 00:54

Oh I love this, can't wait to find out what happens.
OP's milk will be delivered and pinched before I go to bed. Must remember to check back and see who it was before falling asleep.

TheCraicDealer · 15/03/2013 01:01

T minus 0345 hrs until Operation Milko is initiated. All operatives are to wear their "best dressing gowns" and slippers. Silence is imperative- last time we attempted something like this we lost some good mn'ers on the field.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Good luck, OP [mn salute]

IneedAsockamnesty · 15/03/2013 01:14

Do not add anything that could be classed as a medicine or none food item to the milk, its a crime in the uk likely to get you either locked up or rather a lot of comunity service.

TotallyBursar · 15/03/2013 01:26

I had to stop our milk deliveries sadly, for this exact reason - caught one theif it stopped for 2 weeks then it was others strolling past obviously assuming I lived in the country's only free dairy and wanted to offload my fucking milk. I'm not bitter though. I'm such a sadact I put our webcam in the letter box. Luckily we already have a cctv sign so tough tits.

Catch the bugger and shame them. Shame them to their boots.

Completely OT the last thread like this was one that went on for aaages - there were neighbours across the road and the teen was living in the car, intermittently with girlfriend and visitors - and my favourite part was that his mother would occasionally kick him out of the car so she could use it. It was brilliant. There was some absolutely stellar detective work there. Promotion material indeed.

ZebraOwl · 15/03/2013 03:08

Well if I still haven't managed to get to sleep by milk!time I shall be eagerly awaiting your update. If, as I hope, I am busy being asleep, I shall be back to check as soon as I resurface.

Guardian Guide To Making A Citizen's Arrest Grin

MusicalEndorphins · 15/03/2013 03:21

I wouldn't put anything in because someone may be giving it to a child. But I would be ready with my camera. and film them doing it. Or get a photo.

thelittlestkiwi · 15/03/2013 03:29

You could put a note on the door or milk saying 'This milk may have added laxative'.

Good luck OP.

MonaLotte · 15/03/2013 03:39

Hope you catch them. Not long now...