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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fucking fuming

94 replies

Ledkr · 14/03/2013 21:59

I live in cheltenham and today went to the races with some friends as usual. Had a lovely day went for a meal and a few drinks then went to get a bus.
There was a ten minute wait and so I popped into the chippy to get some chips for me dh.
Group of men in there totally managed to scare and intimidate me.
Would you like a savaloy up your back door you slut etc etc. I was alone I am a 45 yr old mother of five wtf?
I have seriously led a very unsheltered life and although wasn't shocked I am angry to my very core. How feckkng date they?
I gave them a mouthful back but I'm just so angry now.
I'm on the bus and feel like crying.
Why do we have to put up with this bolocks?
I just needed to rant.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 14/03/2013 23:14

You just have to wonder what kind of sad, boring fuckers they must be if that's what they do for "entertainment".

ArtexMonkey · 14/03/2013 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyPessaryPam · 14/03/2013 23:21

I would say that Cheltenham is a place to avoid if you're a woman and the races are on. Hit them economically, boycott the place, let the boys be alone.

ripsishere · 15/03/2013 00:26

Angry for you. Shocking behavior from so called men. I really doubt they'd have said anything like that in front of their wives or mothers. Pathetic specimens.

MechanicalTheatre · 15/03/2013 00:30

How horrible OP. I'm shocked.

I know what you mean about wanting to do them Kill Bill style. I have often wished in moments like this that I suddenly gained super powers and just PYOWWWED them in them in the face.

LadyPessaryPam's idea of a boycott is a good one. WANKERS.

ChairmanWow · 15/03/2013 04:27

I really doubt they'd have said anything like that in front of their wives or mothers. Bet they'd be fucking fuming if someone spoke to their wives or mothers the way they spoke to you. Worthless scumbags.

notnagging · 15/03/2013 05:47

Lessmissabs don't compare the two. Op was not racially abused & I struggle to see why you mentioned it.

LadyApricot · 15/03/2013 05:48

These idiots behave completely differently when they get to the races and it is disgusting. I had a similar experience there on Wednesday. Despite telling a horrible ticket tout I was married he followed me all the way down the car park putting his arm around me and offering me money for sex. I was really upset and I hope I don't see him again.
It's full of these people but try not to let it spoil what would've been a good day out as the majority of people there are very nice and there for the racing, not to behave like that

LadyApricot · 15/03/2013 05:50

Bit of a contradiction there - 'full of these people but majority are good people' sorry - it's very early!

buildingmycorestrength · 15/03/2013 06:09

That is horrible.

Any point in reporting it to the police? I'd be tempted.

GetOrf · 15/03/2013 06:17

Bloody hell ledkr that is absolutely vile. The bastards. I know how much you were looking forward to going to the races as well. That must have been horrible.

I hate, hate the atmosphere in cheltenham this week. It's nothing like it during the rest of the year (or the other race meets in the year tbh). I came through Cheltenham station at about 7 last night and all you could hear was beered up boorish blokes. I was on a table on a train on my own, 3 drunk blokes (in their 40s) sat on the table. They made comments and then 'oh look she's pretending not to listen' as I read my paper. Then when I got to gloucester and wanted to get off the bloke next to me said 'oh no you're not getting off you're staying til Cardiff' as the other blokes laughed and egged him on. Kept on saying 'excuse me', and they only mucked about for a minute or so, then they let me off, made a few comments 'stuck up cow' and then I got off. I felt so bloody stupid. Then more drunk blokes on the platform. Like running a bloody gauntlet, more comments. The absolute fucking bastards, I had had a horrible day and that just made me feel a lot worse.

What is wrong with drunk men in groups? And the whole Cheltenham vibe helps it along - the pubs in the town get a special licence to have strippers in the week. I presume these fuckers spend the whole day drinking from 9am with their breakfasts, jeering at the young waitresses who work in the tents, then watching strippers, more jeering at barmaids and girls who work in chip shops, then at bloody innocent bystanders like ledkr.

I felt far safer at the Notting Hill carnival in 2011 3 weeks after the London riots than I did when I went out one Gold Cup night (and went home at 9).

Are you going to the race today Led? Hope you're all right.

neontetra · 15/03/2013 06:18

Notnagging why can she not state her belief that abuse on the grounds of gender should be illegal, as is abuse on racial grounds? I share this belief.

GetOrf · 15/03/2013 06:24

Ladyspricot that is horrible.

The races all look very nice in the paper - pippa middleton and the royals there with their hats on. I expect they get a helicopter straight out when it's finished.

GetOrf · 15/03/2013 06:26

I agree it should be illegal - don't see the issue with lesmiss's comment either Confused

LittleMilla · 15/03/2013 06:26

Led that is horrid for you. As others have said, good on you for giving them a pier of your mind.

I've never been to Cheltenham but was at Bristol TM yest am. Now I'm six months pg and had on a very obv pg dress. I was flabbergasted at the amount of rank individuals who were shamelessly ogling on their way to Cheltenham train. And this was at 9am AT A PREGNANT women. Felt violated tbh. And for these men to behave like that when sober it does make me wonder what happens after some drinks.

Sorry you had to deal with that Hmm

GetOrf · 15/03/2013 06:36

They were probably already pissed milla. How horrible for you. You feel vulnerable when pregnant anyway so to be ogled as well - yuk.

They probably think 'it's only a bit of fun' the spineless wankers.

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 15/03/2013 06:45

I would say this sort of behaviour is a criminal offence covered by the public order act; using threatening, abusive, insulting words or behaviour, within the hearing of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress.

BeckAndCall · 15/03/2013 06:50

OP I so wish you'd called your DH and his good friends and they'd decide to show them what the inside of their workplace looks like - a night in there, missing today's racing, would at least have been a start in letting them understand they were bang out of order, and oh, BrEAKING THE LAW!

LadyApricot · 15/03/2013 07:13

It would've been a good idea to tell a steward and get them barred. Won't stop the hundreds of others doing it though :(
I work on the bar and haven't seen any of it strangely, it's all been quite sweet elderly men! They must be using another bar!

giraffesCantDateDucks · 15/03/2013 07:15

It is really disgusting :( Sorry that happened to you, what utter twats

sashh · 15/03/2013 07:16

Read 'every day sexism' then report them to the police. It IS a crime.

GetOrf · 15/03/2013 07:48

God terrible grammar in my posts. Well it is early Grin

Glad you have got the nice fellas and not the beery wankstains, ladya.

Ledkr · 15/03/2013 08:56

Hi all. Thanks for your support it really helps and restores my faith on humans.
pessary It's hard to boycott it as its my hometown!!
Two ladies on the bus had finished working on town.
All the shop, restaurant and bar staff aren't allowed time off and life has to go on around this scum.
However to be fair I had to go in on Tuesday at 7 past the busiest bit to get dd from dancing and the atmosphere was really nice and a man got told off by his mate for swearing when we walked by and he said sorry.
Not all arseholes.
I wish I'd taken a picture of them now and posted it all over the net.
On reflection I realise the most unsettling thing was that what they said was in a very nasty way. No laughing or anything (not that that would be any better) just a menacing voice coming from behind me.
I think abuse is abuse tbh whether it's racial or sexual. It's still wrong and shouldn't be fecking tolerated.
I'm going to write to my mp and ask about the stripper licence and whether if they are going to allow this they should be looking at protecting the female public from the bloody backlash

OP posts:
buildingmycorestrength · 15/03/2013 10:09

Frightening. Of course there is a difference between relatively harmless, somewhat offensive joking and genuine threatening behaviour. You are a grown woman, you know where that line is.

Well done writing to your MP. But I would also report it to the police. It doesn't matter that it was a day or two ago. It needs recording somewhere official.

catgirl1976 · 15/03/2013 10:56

I'm so sorry you had your lovely day ruined by these idiots :(

YANBU It's awful Flowers