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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to take my baby out...?

74 replies

GiveMeVegemite · 14/03/2013 14:25

I genuinely would like some opinions as my husband and I have had a massive fight about this.

My DH works from home 3 days a week, usually Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. On these days he has said he doesn't want me to take our son out as he wants to spend time with him at home. Fine in principal, but our son is almost 10 months old and loves going to baby groups and getting out of the house.

I said I would like to take him out at least one of those days and said I don't mind if he spends say Tuesday and Thursday at home all day. it would only be for a few of hours so that we could go for a walk or go see some friends, not all day.

Who do you think is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/03/2013 14:27

He is!!! Either go along with your DH as well or just tell him to grow up. You can't stay in all day just because he is working from home.......isn't he actually supposed to be working anyway??

ShatnersBassoon · 14/03/2013 14:27

He is. Besides the fact he's supposed to be working, you need to be going out whenever you want to. Tell him you'll be home during his lunch break some days, but you're not committing to being at home all day.

cazboldy · 14/03/2013 14:27

how is he spending time with him if he is working? Confused

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/03/2013 14:28

I think if you are looking after DS, you get to do what makes you both happy. If he is working from home, he is working. I would have gone stark, staring bonkers if I had been stuck in for three days with DD. YANBU, he is though. It's all tiny bit Lord and Master as well. Like you have to wait around for his attention.

TwinTum · 14/03/2013 14:28

This is bizarre, he should be working. I think fair enough to ask you to try to be at home for part of the day when he has his lunch break or whatever, but otherwise I think this is outrageous.

MrGeresHamster · 14/03/2013 14:28

Isn't working from home meant to involve work? So he wouldn't really be able to spend time with your DS would he?

Personally I'd want to go out, so YANBU to want to too

WilsonFrickett · 14/03/2013 14:29

Oh I'd let him hang out with the baby. You go out though... Grin Nice lunch, maybe a spot of shopping?

SkinnybitchWannabe · 14/03/2013 14:29

Take your son out when the hell you want. Why should you do what he says and wants.
Sod that, get your coats on and enjoy

Original poster
GiveMeVegemite · 14/03/2013 14:30

He can work sitting in the lounge room / dining room where our son plays so can chat to him and work at the same time. When he needs to make calls he just goes upstairs and locks himself in the bedroom.

He said I am being selfish and it is about me wanting to see my friends with babies, but it is honestly not that, it is seeing how happy my son is when we are out and about with other babies etc!

OP posts:
Schooldidi · 14/03/2013 14:30

If he wants to spend time with his son he can come out with you. If he can't leave the house because he's working, then he's supposed to be working, not spending time with your son.

I firmly believe that babies and small children need to get out and about, a bit like dogs, and being cooped up in the house all day wouldn't be my idea of fun either.

StuntGirl · 14/03/2013 14:30

He's either working or spending time with his son, he can't do both!

thebody · 14/03/2013 14:30

I don't understand the post.

If he's working from home how can he be spending time with your ds?

Does he like to pop in when he can and expect you and ds to be waiting for him to play? If so he's a bit of a twat really.

Also controlling.

Geekster · 14/03/2013 14:31

I think he is BU if you only go out for a few hours its not like he won't see him at all, and if he is working from home then does he need some time to do his work anyway? I still take my DD to her usual groups if my DH is off work. I find she needs to go out it does her good, she gets bored of just having Mummy and her own toys. The fresh air and interaction can make her more tired too.

MorphandChas · 14/03/2013 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GiveMeVegemite · 14/03/2013 14:32

I think I might show him this thread.....

OP posts:
MadeinMarch · 14/03/2013 14:32

Your husband is being very unreasonable! Show him this thread once it has 100 unanimous replies

A) he should be working
B) kids need fresh air and a change of scene
C) it's not all about him!

Can't you go out for the morning and meet him for lunch given he's supposed to be working?

SheepNoisesOff · 14/03/2013 14:34

He is being ridiculous. I work from home a lot of the time and when I'm working, I'm working! Someone else (DP) is looking after the kids. And when he is looking after the kids, he's in charge of them and decides where to go and what to do.

Whether your DS enjoys the outings or not is beside the point. If it's selfish to not want to spend three days sitting at home caring for the baby and not allowed to go out, well then I'm selfish and happy to admit it!

If he wants a nanny to care for the kids and do exactly what he says and when, perhaps he should employ one? He's not your boss.

StuntGirl · 14/03/2013 14:34

I can see where he's coming from to an extent, when I work from home even though I'm busy it's nice just to be 'around' other people if they happen to be there. I'd never demand anyone stayed in though Hmm

Morning at swimming/playgroup/whatever, back for lunch with mummy and daddy then an afternoon pottering about the house (with a hopefully tired out child!) sounds alright to me.

Original poster
GiveMeVegemite · 14/03/2013 14:34

Of course we can. I suggested just popping out after lunch so I can make us all lunch and then after my sons nap me and him can go do something. But this has only happened once because I don't want to start a massive fight by suggesting it every week.

OP posts:
MadeinMarch · 14/03/2013 14:34

X post op! :)

Pigsmummy · 14/03/2013 14:35

Send him out with baby to the groups? Or maybe just one? Then enjoy your nice time to yourself?

Iseeall · 14/03/2013 14:35

Are you both expected to sit and watch him work?
Most baby/toddler groups are usually just a few hours long anyway so surely you will be home more then you are out anyway.
He can still do all the good bits himself those days...breakfast lunch bathtime settling for naptime etc while you can catch up on the latest book, manicure etc.

PeppermintPasty · 14/03/2013 14:36

Yep another vote for HIBU.

Just laugh at him and go to the baby group.

ouryve · 14/03/2013 14:36

He'll soon change his mind when baby turns into toddler and starts bashing his keyboard and organising his papers for him :o

That said, your husband has work to do. He can jolly well live without you both for a few hours.

ShatnersBassoon · 14/03/2013 14:36

Show him this thread, and tell him to show it to his manager Grin

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