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Original poster

To be increasingly horrified and alarmed at how much time little ones are spending plugged in?

95 replies

Somethingwicked · 12/03/2013 20:10

My intelligent and good old friends joined us for sunday lunch in a quiet pub the other day and 'appeased' their toddler throughout with very loud youtube clips of bob the builder on youtube. I was dumbstruck.
Whenever there is any waiting or hanging around to be done, the toddlers all around are glued to an iphone or ipad.

Are people sleepwalking into all this, or deliberately doing it just to make life easier? Or am I just a total luddite and idiot not to be training mine up in ipaddery for the digital future?

OP posts:
ChairmanoftheBored · 12/03/2013 20:42

What's wrong with a bit of paper and some crayons? That what I always did with my Ds, and still do.

RubyrooUK · 12/03/2013 20:44

DS (a toddler) and I do many things to pass time or keep him happy when eating out, waiting at the doctor's surgery or in queues.

Sometimes we play imaginative games. Sometimes we read books. Sometimes we draw. Sometimes we eat bananas and pretend to be monkeys. Sometimes we tell each other well-known stories off by heart (like The Gruffalo). And sometimes I whip out my iPhone and let DS do dinosaur-themed jigsaws on it.

Letting my toddler access my phone is one of many things that allows me to keep him quiet/still/occupied/have an adult conversation.

DS is very interactive and if I was meeting friends for lunch, I might very well use my phone to distract him and try and get in a few adult conversations with them as I can't say I have a thrilling non-child social life right now. As much to be polite and attentive to them as anything else.

So personally it doesn't bother me and as the owner of a toddler, I'd be fairly unruffled at seeing anyone else doing the same thing. But if people don't like it, they don't have to allow their children to do it, of course.

MajaBiene · 12/03/2013 20:44

My DS is not really interested in drawing/colouring yet - might hold his attention for a few minutes but no more.

HollyBerryBush · 12/03/2013 20:44

TBH with you, my mate does this with her 5yo - and it's a blessing

nuff said

OkayHazel · 12/03/2013 20:46

I would see it as an advantage if a very young child was computer literate. It is a disadvantage in our generation not to be.

Kids did this with books, with 80s computer games, with 90s Furby, probably with Victorian spinning tops. Its a symptom of all children, its just the distracting object that changes.

Cannot wait until Bob the Builder's hologram can leap out of the screen and tapdance along the table.

Original poster
Somethingwicked · 12/03/2013 20:47

I don't want to be judgemental. I like all my friends and have a lot of respect for them and the way they do things. I keep schtum if any of my children come back from a playdate having been on the computer throughout, I try to be positive about technology wherever I can... I just feel very strongly about it all, and posted on here to air the discussion in anonymity because I know I can't really be open about my views with friends and family without getting people's backs up (understandably) for feeling judged!

OP posts:
orangeandlemons · 12/03/2013 20:48

There's nothing wrong with crayons and paper, but neither is there anything wrong with technology. The two can co-exist in perfect harmony!

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 20:50

Wicked YANBU. But on here...like in the real world, you will find a lot of defensive people who take the piss out of your valid concerns.

I too think Oh my God when I see 2 year olds playing for hours on iphones etc.

But it's common. People don't worry about them because they're so much part of life....but small children need to be within the real world and not staring at a tiny screen.

In ten years time, we will see the effects.

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 20:50

Hazel...as someone else said 80s computer games were not given to 2 and 3 and 4 year olds.

Kiriwawa · 12/03/2013 20:52

This argument is a bit like the one in the 1950s and how rock music would corrupt teenagers' moral fibre. It's yawnsome and seems to be based on fear and superstition. What exactly is the problem you anticipate?

Do you have children OP? I don't think you've said

Kiriwawa · 12/03/2013 20:53

Oops sorry, you said you did have kids in the last post.

I don't think my DS suffers as a result of being computer literate.

VinegarDrinker · 12/03/2013 20:53

DS (just 2) likes to look at the photos on my phone and has one app of shapes games. We don't use it at home but it does occasionally come out for long train journeys (3 hrs +) or, as last week,waiting in A&E for several hours with my brother.

I'm conscious of screen time and would always choose something else first for both me and DS but the situation you describe sounds like a totally reasonable time to make use of technology. Could get some headphones though!

I'm not sure you can conclude anything about your friends' toddler, let alone all toddlers, from one lunch though ...

IRCL · 12/03/2013 20:56

I think horrified is a little strong to be honest.

nothing wrong with using it to distract a toddler for half an hour in my opinion. I honestly don't see the harm in it I did it with my daughter when she was kicking off in the restaurant the other day due to not being allowed to run around..

Worked a treat. If it is any consolation it was an educational app!

poocatcherchampion · 12/03/2013 20:56

I agree op. I also think its anti social to read books during meals. join in the conversation children!

Original poster
Somethingwicked · 12/03/2013 20:57

To be honest, the unsayable thing that I think is that this whole business of ipads being a blessing to keep a child quiet/distracted/entertained in what is either a situation that could be boring or when you want an adult conversation is a self fulfilling prophecy. If they are not expecting that resource to be there, they find other ways to entertain themselves, to think, to play, to join in with the adults, to do something creative and active.... If they are used to being given a screen, they whinge and generally make conversation etc. impossible until the ipad is out. Addiction, basically.

I will run for cover now. I really don't want to upset anyone, on here on in real life, but this sort of thing seems to be taboo. Like a much more extreme version of disapproving of dummies.

And I would far rather not disapprove, and figure out a way to be positive about all this, so all these tales of moderate ipad use and plenty of tree climbing and baking etc are really helpful to me in my personal quest to fit in in the modern world!

OP posts:
orangeandlemons · 12/03/2013 20:57

I also think the stuff about screen time and little ones is like superior moral Luddism and am very Hmm at all these articles about it.

We live in the digital age.

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 20:59

It's not the computer literacy that is under the spotlight here Kiriwawa...or morals.

It's their cognitive development. I KNOW some games are educational. But they're on teeny tiny screens...an optician told me not to let DD look at a small screen for more than 10 mins at a time.

DD has perfect vision btw.

The children who spend hours staring at screens when they should be using their eyes to look about themselves....will suffer the consequences.

"A review of the evidence in the Archives Of Disease in Childhood says children's obsession with TV, computers and screen games is causing developmental damage as well as long-term physical harm. Doctors at the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, which co-owns the journal with the British Medical Journal group, say they are concerned. Guidelines in the US, Canada and Australia already urge limits on children's screen time, but there are none yet in Britain."

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 20:59

Sorry the above quote is from the Guardian's article Here

OverAndAbove · 12/03/2013 21:01

I think the pertinent point may be that you were in a "quiet pub" with a toddler. Seriously, do you not see that the parents were probably on the edge of their seats wondering if the poor child (who would probably rather be at home playing with duplo than with the boring adult people) was going to kick off?!

If you are keen to see toddlers being toddlers then I suggest you have lunch at your local soft play. Enjoy!

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 21:02

Over you are looking at the wrong issue. That's a different thread.

VinegarDrinker · 12/03/2013 21:03

So are you worried about their cognitive development or their eyesight?

I don't get why people see this as so black and white. Yes. Hours and hours of screen time for months on end for young children isn't great, but there is no need to be horrified about a couple of episodes of Thomas the Tank (which are 5 minutes each!).

Original poster
Somethingwicked · 12/03/2013 21:04

I have toddler twins btw and a 5 year old.

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 21:04

Both Vinegar, both.

orangeandlemons · 12/03/2013 21:04

kiriwawa, yeah, all the shocking things teenagers have been subjected too;

Elvis Presley and Rock n Roll
Judas Priest
Punk Rock
Loud music at Rock concerts
Constant noise in ears due to the use of Walkmans and it's effect on hearing
Space invaders

All so shocking at the time, but have all sort of faded away to nothing. It's all resistance to change

MrsMushroom · 12/03/2013 21:04

Maybe you're sensible and don't allow hours...but there are many, many parents who do allow hours at a time. It needs to be highlighted.

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