to be annoyed that my ILs cannot/will not say my name properly?

[HappyAsEyeAm]

I have a Welsh name. It isn't long - just two syllables. I am Welsh, but live in the SE now. Coincidentally my MIL is also Welsh. My ILs and SILs live nearby. All of 'my side' of my family still live in Wales.

DH and I have been together for 11 years, married for 6. Until we got engaged, ILs always said my name wrong, and to start off with, I corrected them (quite shyly, I suppose - for some reason, I was embarrassed that they were getting it wrong), but then I stopped. When we got engaged, DH and I decided that our parents should meet. They hadn't met before because each set of parents lives 250 miles from the other. In advance of that, I said to DH (DP as he was then) something along the lines of "please would you tell your parents how to say my name properly, because my parents are going to think it is very strange when they meet that your parents are mispronouncing my name". DH happened to see his parents that night, said about it and that was that.

Right. DH has always called me by a shortened version of my full name. So, he just says the first syllable. Since he had that conversation with them, they (and SILs) have all called me by this shortened name. I don't like the shortened name. I would never call myself it, and all of my side of the family and my friends call me by my full name.

At our wedding, when we said our vows, DH and I of course said my full name. Cue lots of DH's side of the family (but not SILs and ILs) apologising to me afterwards for saying my name wrongly, but they were only "saying it the way ILs said it". Fair enough!

AIBU to be annoyed that my ILs and SILs (and now SILs' partners) will not use my proper name? I feel that its laziness that they won't try and say it properly, and even though I don't like DH using the shortened version, I sort of see it as a pet name he has for me now. I don't know why they can't take their cue from my parents and from me, saying my name 'properly' as they have met my parents loads and loads since (especially now that we have DC and spend time together as an extended family). I am waaaaaaay to embarrassed to bring it up with them though

If it's not Bethan, then it has to be Ffion

My H cannot pronounce my surname. Neither can the in laws. In fact, just about all English people pronounce it wrong. Indeed, people pronounce it as they usually do when they pronounce the more common variant spelling wrongly. I don't really care. I'd be more annoyed if everyone were pronouncing my forename wrong.

Can you ask you DH to use your full name?

I think you are being unfair. If your DH calls you that and you have never corrected them then how are they suppose to knoW?

Do you think they're calling her FFS then, Dragon?

My guess is it's Heulwen? Very Welsh, hard to work out how to pronounce for a non-Welsh speaker, but very easy once someone has told you how it's said.

Whatever your name is, YAnbu OP! It's rude for your in laws to keep mispronouncing it despite being told.

I'm Scottish and have a very plain but quite pretty name. I really don't like the way it's pronounced with an English accent as it sounds like a different name altogether.

I feel your pain OP.

I should say that I now live in England so lots of people 'mispronounce' my name..

is it a welsh sound?

I am english and haved lived in Scotland for 15 years but I can not do the "CH" as in "loch" properly I tend to pronounce like "lock" I have really really tried but I do seem to be able to learn this sound some names and sounds from other languages are hard for non native speakers apparently we could make these sounds upto about age 7 but then we lose the ability interesting , to be honest I do not really hear the difference but I am practical tone deaf so that maybe the reason

it could just be that they really can't say it right

I always wonder how German gets taught in English schools, given everyone seems to be unable to pronounce 'ch'.

Yanbu but also maybe yabu

I'm welsh with an english dh, it used to annoy me so much when we first got together

Then I realised he CAN'T pronounce things, he has a different accent to me
The english have a different accent to the welsh... Its just a fact of life

If they are doing it to be nasty then yanbu, but maybe they just can't say it properly??

Poorly I imagine Arbitrary :o (I kid, MFL teachers....I'm sure you're all doing an excellent job. ;) Does seem to be a difficult sound for English speakers. )

I'm Dutch. Despite valiant attempts over the 9 years of our relationship, DP still struggles with the 'ch' sound in Dutch too, not helped by the fact that I'm from the south of Holland where it sounds less guttural than in the north and in German.

I thought Anwen immediately. Don't know why.

My little girl is called Bethan. I'm English and my husband is Scottish so I suppose we do say more Beth-en (although not quite) than Beth-AN. It just sounds more natural in our respect accents. Beth-AN would sound like it should be written Beth-Ann, if you see what I mean.

But in any case, whatever your name is, if you've asked them to pronounce it your way and they won't, that's just rude and YANBU.

"My guess is it's Heulwen? Very Welsh, hard to work out how to pronounce for a non-Welsh speaker"

The OP said it's easy to pronounce with no Welsh sounds.

Your problem isn't really with your ILs using the nickname, it's with your DH using it.

So tell him you dont like the shortened version and would prefer he didn't call it you, even though you know he's only saying it to be nice. Once he starts regularly using your full, real name they will get used to hearing it more. But it's a bit unreasonable to expect them to think you wouldn't like the nickname when your DH uses it all the time...

Bronwen? Love that name.

My IL's have replaced the 'E' in my name with an 'ae'. It drives me insane and my side of the family whenever they do it.

That one change manages to make my relatively grown up and nice name sound whiney .

Heulwen doesn't have any exclusively Welsh /sounds/ as such, it just looks Welsh. If someone tells you how it's pronounced, you should be polite and remember, not just butcher it every time.. That's why I thought of it.

so how is Heulwen said?

Yes, I thought Rhian. I lived in North Wales Sian and Rhian (and Debbie ) were the most common girls names. It's clearly not Sian.

Gwyneth?

Myfanwy is pronounced Miv-ANN-wee
Heulwen is pronounced HILE-wen

I was going to use Heulwen for my DD - it means Sunshine. We live in England, though, and they have enough trouble with DS's name (equally Welsh, but easier to pronounce).

I don't know why you allow your husband to call you a name you don't like. If you'd nipped that in the bud, none of his family would have been able to pick up on it.

I would have guessed being called may rather than Mai but no short version. Maybe being called Ellen not Ellan. Who knows. I'm kat (short for Kathryn). Noone calls me kathryn but I get called pat a lot.

Being called maya not mair?

I want to know and will continue going through the welsh names until I come to the most likely answer.