to be annoyed that my ILs cannot/will not say my name properly?

[HappyAsEyeAm]

I have a Welsh name. It isn't long - just two syllables. I am Welsh, but live in the SE now. Coincidentally my MIL is also Welsh. My ILs and SILs live nearby. All of 'my side' of my family still live in Wales.

DH and I have been together for 11 years, married for 6. Until we got engaged, ILs always said my name wrong, and to start off with, I corrected them (quite shyly, I suppose - for some reason, I was embarrassed that they were getting it wrong), but then I stopped. When we got engaged, DH and I decided that our parents should meet. They hadn't met before because each set of parents lives 250 miles from the other. In advance of that, I said to DH (DP as he was then) something along the lines of "please would you tell your parents how to say my name properly, because my parents are going to think it is very strange when they meet that your parents are mispronouncing my name". DH happened to see his parents that night, said about it and that was that.

Right. DH has always called me by a shortened version of my full name. So, he just says the first syllable. Since he had that conversation with them, they (and SILs) have all called me by this shortened name. I don't like the shortened name. I would never call myself it, and all of my side of the family and my friends call me by my full name.

At our wedding, when we said our vows, DH and I of course said my full name. Cue lots of DH's side of the family (but not SILs and ILs) apologising to me afterwards for saying my name wrongly, but they were only "saying it the way ILs said it". Fair enough!

AIBU to be annoyed that my ILs and SILs (and now SILs' partners) will not use my proper name? I feel that its laziness that they won't try and say it properly, and even though I don't like DH using the shortened version, I sort of see it as a pet name he has for me now. I don't know why they can't take their cue from my parents and from me, saying my name 'properly' as they have met my parents loads and loads since (especially now that we have DC and spend time together as an extended family). I am waaaaaaay to embarrassed to bring it up with them though

Think of it this way my MIL calls me mummy. . Not as it talking to the children and referring to me as mummy. No she out and out calls me mummy. As in "thank you mummy" (when giving her a glass of wine).

Well she did. Until I explained the error of her ways and now she calls me LEGO. Got to love that woman's style.

God, if everyone else went around calling me by the name my DH uses for me, I'd be LIVID! It's entirely one thing for one's DH to use a pet name, and another for everyone he knows to adopt the same name, especially when they have been told different.

I have a similar thing with my name, also of Welsh origin! I pronounce it with a soft "Shh" but my MIL consistently (for some reason) pronounces it with a "Ch" (like "Church"). She is the only person that does it and after 11 years with her son I've given up hope of her getting it right.

To be fair she is a bit deaf!

frank I'm thinking Chew-Anne?

No, not that brave!

I know exactly how you feel op

but with a Cornish not Welsh name, but same celtic roots

I'm welsh and my sister is called Rhian and it's definitely pronounced rhi-an here in the north. Back to op though, if it doesn't have any ll, ch or dd then there really shouldn't be a problem with your in laws pronouncing your name correctly and it would drive me crazy as well. You really have me intrigued as to what your name is though.

Nope Life, think more "Girls Aloud" and "Bucks Fizz"

Mum11970 I was about to post the same thing about the name Rhian definitely not pronounced Rhiun where I come from.
My friend Gwenan has the same problem, pronounced all kind of ways Gwenyn, gwenun, gwen ann, gwen nan. So she is called Gwen by colleagues now as its easier.

Myfanwy? (How do you pronouce that?)

Livesaved
Never heard of Rhian being pronounced Rhi-un? I speak Welsh fluently and so do a lot of people I know, everyone pronounces it as Rhi-Anne ! 'An' in Welsh = pronounced Anne.

My dad had an aunt Myfanwy. She was called "Mivvy" by everyone.

In my defence I did say sort of. I meant more putting a lot of emphasis on the A (so saying it like it is two words). But I'm happy to hang up my daffodil and stand corrected

It's the Rhi part that's tricky I find. Over 25 years I've spent trying to get some of these sounds right and I get thrown by ones that look easy.

I have a problem with Seren being habitually mispronounced. Serene, Serena (there is no 'a' there!), sur-wren (that one is hard to describe but far too much emphasis on the final syllable. Drives me nuts.

OP, have any of us mentioned your name yet?

Get my name miss-pronounced all the time - I'm German. So I've settled for the miss-prnounciation I like best :)

Are they doing it deliberately?
Then don't worry about upsetting them, make clear what you want to be called and correct them if they do it wrong.

Is it genuine mistake?
Put up or speak up (the keywords here are calm and rational ;) )

YAB a little U.

PS: I'm struggling pronouncing DP's name. e has an international name and I sometimes use the Germanic version but I'm improing :D

I am Welsh too and my in-laws still mispronounce my name after 17 years. It is annoying I agree but I have given up trying to do anything about it. No one else seems to have a problem with it and I have lived in the South East a long time now...

I was thinking Rhian. There's a girl at work called Rhian and she pronounces it Rhi-Anne.

Today I heard someone call her rhiun, and it suprised me as the person was welsh....and I thought how can she not know how to say it right.

Rhian herself is English, maybe doesn't know the welsh pronounciation.

My money is on Ffion.

I'm Welsh too. Properly Welsh. With a very easy to say, English name. Nice one parents.

They don't know that you don't like the shortened version, though, do they? In fact as your DH calls you that they probably assume that you do like it. I call DH by a shortened version of his name and my mother's picked that up from me; I don't think she realises that no one else uses it.

I'd be upset too, OP. Even if it was a 'hard' Welsh name, surely 11 years is long enough to learn how to say it. I moved to Wales to go to uni, I've yet to meet anyone whose name I couldn't pronounce correctly by the third attempt.

I know a guy called Aled (surely not that difficult a name to pronounce once you've heard it spoken once or twice) who introduced himself to non-Welsh speakers as Alan. This confused me for a while so I asked him why he did it (as he was introduced to me by someone else so I always knew him as Aled). Apparently too many people mispronounce Aled and he got fed up

I NEED to know the name.

Is anyone else hearing this whole thread in their head with a Welsh accent?

Yes.

Although my only Welsh friend is called Natalie.

My bets on Megan pronounced Mee-gan?

Anyway, perhaps you ought to get your DH calling you your full name from now on.