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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think there's some things your DC shouldn't have to hear

27 replies

chazbomb · 11/03/2013 11:11

DSS (13) came over this weekend and told us when he arrived home last weekend after staying with us his mother asked him, 'guess me me and DH were doing on the sofa whilst you were at dads last night?' dSS replies dunno what? We were having sex replies his mother. Poor DSS totally mortified. Aibu to think that is really odd????

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 11/03/2013 11:12

Yeah... Even odder he decides to tell you tho!!?

TooYappy · 11/03/2013 11:12

Very very odd! Poor DSS, my Ds would be mortified.

Why? Confused

MisselthwaiteManor · 11/03/2013 11:13

She sounds like a bizarre woman.

Reality · 11/03/2013 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sugarice · 11/03/2013 11:14

That has made me feel very uneasy for some reason.

I have a ds-13 and cannot even begin to imagine saying something like that.

Are things ok at his house with his Mother.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 11/03/2013 11:15

If this is out of character for his mum then I would think hes made it up.

catgirl1976 · 11/03/2013 11:17

That is really odd

Agree it might be something he has made up for unknown teenagery angst reasons

I hope so anyway Confused

whiteflame · 11/03/2013 11:27

doesn't sound true to me. who would say that to their son?

Original poster
chazbomb · 11/03/2013 11:29

Have no reason not to believe him. She rang us a few weeks ago asking if DSS talks to DH about girls as she thinks he should be showing an interest (hes not in the least bit interested in girls at the moment) then Went on to tell us that after a 'chat' with him she was fairly sure he wasn't gay! DH was like WTF!! And told her to leave the poor lad alone! Poor DSS overheard her conversation to DH and was really upset. I did ask dss why would she tell you what shes been up to on the sofa......he said she said she likes to see his reaction!!She is a bit strange!

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 11/03/2013 11:31

That is really inappropriate.

I wonder how it would sound if a father said to his 13 year old daughter "guess what me and my wife were doing on the sofa whilst you were at dads last night? - We were having sex"

Sounds bloody creepy, right?

It's no less creepy to my ears because it's his mum and he's a teenage boy.

It is really inappropriate.

PurpleRayne · 11/03/2013 11:34

Things to consider.

I'd believe the boy. Takes a lot of guts for a youngster to reveal something like that. The chances are, he would expect you to challenge it with M, so he would know it is a high risk strategy if he is lying. What would he gain?

I think you need to consider M motives here too. It is a highly inappropriate way to speak to a child like this; does she have form? Is she going to deny saying such a thing, or say, why not speak like that?

Sidge · 11/03/2013 11:34

I can well believe it if she's normally inappropriate and I imagine he told you because it's really bothered him. Sort of a 'cry for help'.

LibertineLover · 11/03/2013 11:37

Is she trying in a very twisted way to get him thinking sexually? Confused it's pretty grim if you ask me, and your DH is right, she should just leave the boy be, strange woman.

Thumbwitch · 11/03/2013 11:39

Oo, that's odd. Perhaps she was provoking him to see if he would ask what that was all about then; as if he would!! Teen boys are NOT going to ask their mothers about sex, just no way (qualification: none of the teen boys I ever knew would have anyway)

Poor lad!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 11/03/2013 11:41

Gosh, if that's not enough to put the poor lad off sex I don't know what is.
Yes it's inappropriate and odd. I'd guess he said it as he doesn't quite know how to deal with hearing it.

DukeSilver · 11/03/2013 11:41

That is incredibly strange and wrong. Poor boy!

Original poster
chazbomb · 11/03/2013 11:43

She told DH she was asking him if he spoke about girls that she's just trying to be an 'open mum' apparently sex etc was a closed subject with her parents. I think that's the way I prefer it, nothing more awkward than your mum wanting to talk to you about sex! I told dss to tell her TMI mum, that is something that's a need to know basis and I DON'T need to know!!

OP posts:
SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 11/03/2013 11:48

Keep an open line of communication about this sort of thing with him. I would be very wary of a parent trying to encourage a child to think sexually. She may just be making a hash of trying to show him that she's always there for him to approach her about this sort of thing, or she may be pretty damn twisted and have a more nefarious intent. Either way, it's good that he's told you and feels comfortable enough to open up about it.

LibertineLover · 11/03/2013 11:50

Yes smite that's a point, it's a good sign he's come out with that to you.

kinkyfuckery · 11/03/2013 11:50

Are you sure he didn't overhear something and ask what it was and she replied that they were having sex?

Original poster
chazbomb · 11/03/2013 11:56

We do have a good relationship with him.

OP posts:
comedycentral · 11/03/2013 11:57

My mother used to do this when I was growing up. Don't know her motive at all but it has left me with intimacy issues in adulthood.

Sugarice · 11/03/2013 12:00

It's disturbing that she said it at all.

Original poster
chazbomb · 11/03/2013 12:09

No kinky she made a point of telling him when he got back from ours last Saturday. I can only assume she finds it fun t watching him squirm when talks to him about these things!

OP posts:
LibertineLover · 11/03/2013 13:30

Are you going to have a word with her? or DH maybe?