To send ds to a birthday party when we have already accepted another invite for the same day?

[LiegeAndLief]

I have 6yo ds and 3yo dd. The son of a good friend, let's call him X, is about to be 2. X's mum said she wouldn't invite my dc to a party of 2yos as they would get bored and might squash the other guests, but would we all like to come round for a birthday tea on X's actual birthday. I said yes.

Yesterday one of ds's friends (let's call him Y) mum told me that Y is having his party on the same day. This is a few weeks away from Y's actual birthday, so I didn't think of it when we accepted X's invite. Y is one of ds's best friends and he would be really pissed off to have to go to a 2yo's birthday tea when he could be at Y's party.

So WIBU to send ds to Y's and the rest of us go to X's? If I was X's mum I would be fine with it, and I think she would, but she can be a little PFB... I need perspective. How bad is this?

Just to clarify, X's mum is my good friend. Dc play with X but have no strong feelings towards him

If I was X's mum I'd be fine with it too.

That would be absolutely fine.

Would you still be going with your 3yo?

Oh good! Yes, dh and I would both still go, we are good friends with X's mum and dad so it would be more like dd accompanying us than the other way round!

Yes, that sounds fine to me!

Send your older son to his friend's party and take your younger son to your frien'ds child's birthday tea. That's perfectly acceptable and unless your friend is completely unreasonable and a bit mad then there shouldn't be an issue.