To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

[nothingbyhalves]

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

[BlueyDragon]

Mine is wonderful. Will drop anything to come and help us 300 miles away (backed up by FIL who is just as wonderful). Helps without being asked but keeps any judgements to herself except when needed (she banged then boyfriend's sister and my heads together at an early point when we did not get on at all and it was the right thing to do). I am soooo lucky.

DH loves his MIL. And the wooden spoon she gave him for his birthday .

[TheArmadillo]

I have no contact now with my own mother, dh has an appalling Mil.

My Mil is fantastic, supportive and I'm not sure I would have survived without her. I do feel a bit bad as due to my abusive upbringing I can be mental, and she has seen me at my worst (during breakdown) and I know as a result I am not always the easiest person. But she is great.

[littlemissangrypants]

My almost mother in law was lovely. Even when I split up with her son she was there for us. She also always used to tell me she would help to bury exes body should the need arise. She really was a mother to me. Unfortunately she developed something similar to Parkinson's 3 years ago and is slowly dying. The woman she was is gone and I'm unable to visit her due to exes dad who hates me. I still always send flowers over with my sons so granny has something nice. Her children do nothing at all. Even on mothers day. I love and miss her so much and I hate that I can't be with her.

[Shodan]

I get on quite well with my MIL. I used to get on a lot better with her, but she has done one or two things that have shown me a more unpleasant side than she shows to the world in general, so now that's always at the back of my mind.

She does try to railroad us sometimes, using tears and tantrums to get her own way, but we stand firm and it all blows over after a while.

[Purplecatti]

I can't stand my neurotic controlling harpy of an MIL.
Unfortunately I have to keep it to myself as my oh thinks the sun shines out of her arse.

[TheOneAndOnlyAlpha]

I adore my MIL. FIL is wonderful too. When asked how many daughters they have they say 3 (that includes me!). Smug. :)

[Iaintdunnuffink]

Yes. We're very different but that's not a problem because we're both nice people.

[Titchyboomboom]

I do and I know that I am not quite the sort of person she normally likes, so I appreciate it.

However, I am not 100% myself around her, but an getting closer to being. Just getting there slowly.

I know a lot of people who are firmly at tolerance level with mil

[Bunbaker]

I do. My MIL is lovely.She tells me that she is proud to have me as her DIL. I don't understand why so many women don't get on with their MILs/DILs.

I have always got on well with friends' parents and boyfriends' parents in the past.

[Sunnymeg]

My MIL tries to play all the daughters in law off against each other so that she remains Queen Bee. I complained to DH about her for years. She has done some terrible things. We had been married and had been trying to start a family for years before I got pregnant, I had a scare half way through the pregnancy and she made out I was trying to get rid of the baby. When BIL and SIL got married she had a key to their flat whilst they were on honeymoon and she went in and unwrapped their wedding presents. When I had a mastectomy and chemo she didn't even offer to help or send a card or anything. It was at this point DH realized that I wasn't making a mountain out of a mole hill and that really she wasn't nice!

[Anifrangapani]

Mine is cool.

[TheOneWithTheHair]

I love my MIL. She's generous and kind (and she thinks I'm too good for her son. )

[Squitten]

I think she probably respects me and mostly likes me. I don't think I'm remotely what she had in mind as a DIL - not posh enough, not ambitious enough and not from the right family, but she also knows I will stand up to her so if she wants a good realtionship with her son, she has to behave! The funny thing is that her other DIL is much more like her and what she wants, and they don't get on very well at ALL.

[Ledkr]

I think I'd have loved mine too had the distance not dictated the need for overnight stays.
So effectively I never had time to get to know them before the full on experience of sharing a small house for a long period if time.
Lots of the issues wouldn't have happened without the house share need.
They seem to have fairly thick skin so then annoy us by overstepping the mark and being intrusive.
They are nice people actually but they need to respect the fact that their children are now grown up and have their partners to consider as well as them.
This thread has made me determined to be more upfront about what we want eg. " do you think you could get going a bit earlier on Sunday as we need a few hours to get ready for school and work?"
Rather than getting angry and seething quietly when they are still sat here at 7pm

[dawntigga]

I love her she's brilliant but we have 2 things in common her son and my son that's it.

SheReallyDoesn'tGetMeButDoesn'tJudgeMeEitherTiggaxx

[LimboLil]

Oh dear I'm a bit of a disappointment to mine. She is a lovely lady but very controlling and overbearing. I keep my distance as much as poss but my hub does visit her without fail every weekend for a few hours with my oldest son and I usually visit my mum at the same time. I am always polite and friendly to her but as soon as she gets me in a headlock she bangs on and on and tries to influence and manipulate things her way. It's a bit like a comedy farce when she is here with me darting from room to room and suddenly needing the loo or spotting something the kids need doing when the conversation gets tricky. It must be very frustrating for her. I will be devastated when she's no longer around though, so I suppose I do love her really, I just can't be with her a lot. If it makes it any better, I feel not dissimilar about my own mother too.

[ivanapoo]

My MIL has some deeply unpleasant "interesting" personality traits and our opinions differ on almost all topics (religion, politics, viewpoints on society, attitudes towards family) - but given all that we get on fairly well really. She loves spending time with her family, is generous, can be charming when she wants to and is a fantastic cook. I wish I found her easier to talk to though.

[ZenNudist]

I get on well with my ILs. MIL is a bit overbearing & annoying. Sometimes my own parents are annoying too. My ILs are very generous with us & lovely with ds. We even go on long hols with ILs (they pay!) which we never do with my parents.

[HandlebarTash]

No. 10 years on, and not one of my in laws have any way if contacting me except via my husband. They have no interest in doing so either. Knowing what I know now, I would give the advice to think carefully about the family you are marrying into and what your relationship with them will be like.

[MsAkimbo]

I do. My MIL has been more like a mother to me than my own mother ever has.

[DonderandBlitzen]

Got on fine before i had kids. Not a fan since i've had kids, although live in different hemispheres so not much of a problem.

[DonderandBlitzen]

I think I'd have loved mine too had the distance not dictated the need for overnight stays. What ledkr said except with me it is 2 week stays in the same bungalow.

[EasilyBored]

Mine is lovely. Bit too enthusiastic with DS but it comes from a good place and she isn't one to offer unwanted advice. FIL can be a bit irritating in a daily mail way, but dotes on DS (and is brilliant with him now he's a toddler). I wish they lived closer actually as they love to baby sit!

[verytellytubby]

Mine is brilliant. I get on with my step MIL as well. No drama here. I was shocked when I first joined MN at the MIL threads.

[Barmcake]

I have an amazing mil, I don't know what we would have done without her these past few months.

She always puts family first and is a fantastic cook.