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AIBU?

To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

188 replies

nothingbyhalves · 09/03/2013 20:30

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

OP posts:

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Convert · 09/03/2013 21:12

I do. I love my MIL, she is fab. So kind and thoughtful. They are always asking if they can take the DC out for the day if they are going somewhere, especially if they are going out with my SIL and her family. They often ring and ask if FIL could pick up the boys to take them to the park for a couple of hours.
When I couldn't drive she organised lifts for me so we could attend things when DH was at work, even if it meant a 90 min round trip for them to pick us up. She rings to check on me if I have been ill. She is just so lovely. I love her as much as I love my own Mom.

LittleChickpea · 09/03/2013 21:13

I love my MIL. She is. Very traditional woman and can be judgemental but she has a heart of gold. I love her worts and all.

FloraFox · 09/03/2013 21:14

I did. She was really lovely and I miss her. Even though we disagreed on many things, she was very respectful of other people's differences and ways of doing things. I will try to be like her when I am a MIL.

Convert · 09/03/2013 21:14

Oh, also when DD was in hospital she looked after my boys for two weeks and really exhausted herself making sure they had a great time while we were stuck in the hospital for the whole time. Got halloween costumes, ferried them to school, took them to a party and on days out to keep them occupied. You couldn't ask for a better MIL!

exexpat · 09/03/2013 21:16

We get on fine, in a fairly superficial, polite sort of way, but I find her intensely irritating if I have to spend more than a day or two in her company. We have absolutely nothing in common apart from the DCs (and she doesn't really seem that interested in them most of the time) and very different values, attitudes to life etc.

The situation is complicated by the fact that DH died six years ago, so although for the first 18 years I knew her I didn't really have to have that much to do with her as DH made all the phone calls etc (we were also living on the other side of the world most of that time), it is now up to me to maintain the relationship for the sake of the children. I get on much better with my father-in-law, at least in terms of finding things to talk about, although we are also poles apart in very many ways.

shockedballoon · 09/03/2013 21:22

Me. Wish they lived closer!

WestieMamma · 09/03/2013 21:23

My MIL is lovely and we get on great. She can fuss for England but I just let it wash over me as it's only because she cares. She has a great sense of humour and can laugh at herself and her daftness, which smooths over any ruffled feathers.

Acandlelitshadow · 09/03/2013 21:24

No. She put her marriage to her filthy pig of a child abusing second husband over her relationship with us so she's out of our lives.

feetlkeblocksofice · 09/03/2013 21:25

My first MIL was and is lovely, supported me during the break up with ex and was wonderful and helpful.
My second MIL is great too, a lovely lady who works far too hard and will do anything for anybody, has always treated my DD as her own DG, she credits me with helping her DS to grow up

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/03/2013 21:28

I luffs my MIL. She is fab.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 09/03/2013 21:29

Lovely MiL.. once I got to know her and she got to know me we are VERY different.
We get on well. she is gentle and kind and ditsy (told us the pub round the corner from le Manior was very reasonable for food - we had booked a romantic weekend to stay there and enjoy the food )

TheSecondComing · 09/03/2013 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 09/03/2013 21:32

I love my mil, she is a wonderful, kind, thoughtful woman. She has endless energy for the DCs and has always treated me with respect. I consider her a friend, we have enjoyed many a night gossiping over a bottle of wine. I also consider myself very lucky :)

DeWe · 09/03/2013 21:33

I haven't felt totally comfortable with mine since she spent a weekend at our when dd1 was little in which she spent a lot of the time saying things like "you won't have any friends if they see you've got more than two weeks' worth of dust on your mantelpiece"

I became less comfortable with her one Christmas when her and another dil were gossiping about the last dil and repeating things that bil had obviously made in confidence, in front of the whole extended family.
Things like "he thinks the sun shines out of her backside". I was really angry about this-other dil was very much encouraging, I told dh if she said anything like that again (after the second time) he needed to tell her how inappropriate it was. (he hadn't been there the first time)
I suspect fil may have said something-he's lovely.

So I always have the feeling she disapproves of me, and gossips about me.

ivykaty44 · 09/03/2013 21:33

I get on so much better with mine now I am divorced

She is my Dc granny and I do far more to facilitate there relationship than her own ds

SignoraStronza · 09/03/2013 21:33

I love my mum in law. Get on with her better than I do with my own mother. Also helps that she adores my dc1. Technically not a blood relation but she always refers to her as her eldest grandchild and love her to bits.

Cremolafoam · 09/03/2013 21:34

My mil is the most brilliant fun. 76 still working, loves dd to bits and will happily move into our house when dh and I fancy a weekend away. Dd and mil get up to all sorts of wine drinking chocolate eating silliness and then lie to us about it. She's a blast ! ( dd is 18 btw) love her!

kennyp · 09/03/2013 21:35

I agree noisily with thesecond coming .... I hate mine and she hates me ... She,s bonkers.

A thinking of getting that printed on a t shirt tbh

midastouch · 09/03/2013 21:35

My mil actually dies a few days before i was due to meet her!
My exs mother was a total bitch she thought she was so much better than me, horrible woman!

morethanpotatoprints · 09/03/2013 21:36

We have grown on one another over the past 24 years. She didn't warm to me nor me to her. We got on for the sake of dh and then the dc.
We now have a lovely relationship, she is really there for me since I lost my parents and I really appreciate what she does for us.
She convenientely lives and hour and half away from us, just in case she ever winds me up, lol.

Molehillmountain · 09/03/2013 21:36

My mil is amazing. She is a rock to our family and helps me accept that my mother is anything but. It is my mil who I want to see tomorrow and who is coming for lunch. I'm very lucky.

midastouch · 09/03/2013 21:37

Just to add my grandmother still hates my mum after 30 years of being married to her DS.
She actually tried to pair my dad off with a more suitable lady at there wedding reception, i thought this was hillarious!

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Floralnomad · 09/03/2013 21:38

Mine hasn't spoken to me for 15 years and its bliss. My husband still sees her regularly and the children see her about once or twice a year if she's lucky .

BrandyAlexander · 09/03/2013 21:39

MIL and I have come a long way. She behaved appallingly at the time of my wedding. I forgave, we moved on. Now she's fabulous and I have come to love her. We're seeing her tomorrow.

YouTheCat · 09/03/2013 21:40

That takes the biscuit, Midas!

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