Page 5 | To ask how many of you get on with your mil?

nothingbyhalves · 2013-03-09T20:30:56+00:00

That's it really, just fancied a poll of who feels respected and liked by mil?

TheSecondComing · 09/03/2013 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feebeecat · 09/03/2013 21:42

Nope. She's as mad as a box of frogs.
And after 17 years together DH spotted it too. Have had a relatively quiet (and stress free) 6 years now

LemonPeculiarJones · 09/03/2013 21:43

I have a fantastic MIL. She's cheerful, kind, loving, good fun, generous and she adores our DS

Love that woman!

skaen · 09/03/2013 21:44

My MIL is fantastic. DH is her pet baby boy and is disabled so I was a bit worried at first that I would be elbowed out a bit but actually the complete opposite. She thanks md for looking after DH because she lives seeing him so happy, and spends ages telling me how great the children are.

She also had the biggest craft cupboard I've ever seen outside a nursery and will paint, stick and cut out with the DCs for hours.

AdoraBell · 09/03/2013 21:45

No. I'm not approved of because I am an adult with my own mind and opinions. The only way to get on with my PILs, either of them, would be to morph into a "seen but not heard" 5 yr old.

I do make an effort to be civil simply because they are the only GPs that DDs have, but even OH has had enough and only calls/visits because of being guilt tripped.

Ledkr · 09/03/2013 21:48

I get on with mine but they just outstay their flucking welcome!!

YouTheCat · 09/03/2013 21:49

Are they still doing that Ledkr? I remember a thread you did ages ago about them coming to stay when you just had a baby, iirc.

carameldecaflatte · 09/03/2013 21:52

I get on very well with mine. She told me I was a whole world of good for her son and sat with me in hospital with our stillborn son when my dh and dm couldn't cope. Love her to bits.

iluvsummer · 09/03/2013 21:52

No she's a narcisstic toxic poisoned dwarf, she is a wicked wicked woman!! Haven't seen her for 7 months and she lives 5 min away hopefully won't see her ever again!

janji · 09/03/2013 21:59

Never really had a real relationship with mine. See her,about once every 2 months but she is really hard work to talk to. Very quiet and hard to keep a conversation going with. Organised lots of outings, meals etc with dc and myself (going to a psychic eve with her next week that I've booked), but even then the conversation is stilted to say the least. Would love a good friendship with her especially as fil passed away 6 yrs ago and she lives alone, but can't seem to find a relaxed common ground?

FinallyMrsFC · 09/03/2013 22:03

My MIL is a mental alcoholic. She was a dreadful parent, and tries but fails to be a better GM. She is terrified of me, just how I like it.

LadyLech · 09/03/2013 22:04

Not particularly, but that's nothing against her. The ILs in general aren't my kind of people, really. We're very different.

Kundry · 09/03/2013 22:12

Mine is a very sweet lady but clearly finds me very disappointing as I am not concerned about provision of doilies, aprons or other 1950s housewife essentials. She is making great efforts for me to understand wifework, all of which is falling on deaf ears as I have no intention of doing any.

I also appear to become invisible in her presence due to the overwhelming importance of DH (yes, I have the more senior job, own the house, far more responsibility and earn about 3 times his salary - all of this surprises her every fucking time and apparently does not negate the need for me to do all the housework and remember every sodding birthday which DH could not possibly be expected to do)

However her telling my DM, she hoped 'it would last' on the day of our wedding is pretty irretrievable.

She means well but comes from another era - I think she finds me a complete puzzle.

Ledkr · 09/03/2013 22:15

cat yes they are still thick skinned and intrusive fuckers.
Weekend visits go on until 7.30 pm we tried going out but they stayed in our house even when we weren't there.
Mil is a controlling and self centred person but on the surface I'd day we can chat easily --just not until fecking midnight!!

Crocodilehunter · 09/03/2013 22:17

I think my mil likes me! She says I'm doing a good job with DS which is nice but she doesn't seem to respect me e.g ignoring me when I speak or callin me 'she' in conversations when I'm stood right there remember her saying to DP in front of me "she might not take to breast feeding so don't buy a breast pump for her yet" (feels a bit like I'm talking about you not to you) I'm sure it's not meant that way but its ignorant & rude all the same!
She adores DS but says she wants to see him once a week at least but doesn't make the effort to come to us!

It's weird like some other posters have said I seem to have found the relationship more strained since DS came along!but feel like its my problem not hers (over sensitive I think)

MrsAyrtonSenna · 09/03/2013 22:20

I used to get on very well with my MIL.......... until DH & I had children. She used to like to come and stay and has always treated our house as her own (sometimes a little too much!)

Turns out she was 'grooming' me to become her carer in her later years, she started dropping hints about moving nearer to us and how her friend had sold her house and her daughter and husband had built an annexe onto their house for her to live in with its own front door, with access to and from main house and what a good idea that was, perhaps we could do that. What made her think I would favour her above my own parents is beyond me. DH fortunately was horrified at the thought of her having a 'granny flat', and said it is hardly fair and we cant offer to do that for one parent without the other so that was never going to be a flyer.

She had assumed that I was going to be a 'career girl' and we would not have children, so her response when told she was going to be a grandmother was to say 'Oh' and follow it with a Queen Victoria expression of 'we are not amused' and a catsbum mouth. And since then her behaviour towards me is like that of a naughty child.

There have been many incidents like this down the years, but I just let it wash over me now, things like she will kiss everyone else goodbye when we leave after visiting her, but not me. I answered the phone when she rang and chatted with her for a bit, then said I would get DH to come to the phone, she said not to bother as there was nothing important and she had chatted to me so she knew all was well. Next time she rang, he answered and she told him I wouldnt let her speak to him!!

Never mind - at least I will know what not to do when I am a MIL!!

AScorpionPitForMimes · 09/03/2013 22:24

I lost my MIL in 2011. She was wonderful - never criticised my parenting, treated me as completely special because I'd married the one son she thought would never settle down, was great with the DDs. We were very different people - she was traditionally American, strict 1950 values, religious, I had a 70s upbringing, am atheist, into attachment parenting. But we had absolute mutual respect. I miss her.

I'm just glad that my DH feels the same way about my parents, recently they told him they considered him their son and he nearly cried.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 09/03/2013 22:24

I've posted before about my MIL - she's a wonderful person and the best Mil I could ask for. She treats me like one of her own and always has - I'm an extremely lucky Dil!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 09/03/2013 22:29

No, but I've given up caring and past it trying.

Luckily I don't have to see her often but the insides of my cheeks are bitten to shreds with me stopping myself from shouting "Fuck Right Off and when you get there Fuck Off Some More"

Startail · 09/03/2013 22:34

Mine was great and absolutely lovely to me from the day we met.

No mean feat since DH and I got engaged 6 weeks after we met and she didn't meet me until a week or two later. In the 13 years that followed I went on holiday several times with her and DFIL and her on her own, after he died and had lots of happy visits to her house.

She died 12 years ago, and I still miss her.

Jengnr · 09/03/2013 22:41

Love her. And FIL.

missingwelliesinsd · 09/03/2013 23:05

I have such an unusual MIL! She is very stoic, practical, outdoorsy and basically a complete tomboy. In fact she was rather intimidating as a future MIL when I was dating my now DH; she is on ski patrol, is a volunteer firefighter, paramedic and was a high school principal before she retired. She is an absolutely wonderful grandmother to my nephews. I actually think I have the best MIL I could ever have hoped for, completely on the other end of the scale from "interfering".

I'm not really close to her yet, after 4 years (we live a 5 hour plane ride away) but I am pretty reserved and stoic too, so she is my kind of person. The only thing I really see as being a potential issue is that I am an atheist whereas she and all my inlaws are devoutly christian. My DH (agnostic) and I lived together for several years before marrying, my MIL was deeply concerned and actually lost sleep over it. She sincerely worried about us, although she never spoke a word of it to me and was always welcoming to me. I was raised as a Catholic, but long ago lost any faith. DH diplomatically referred to me as "from the Catholic faith" on the only occasion they ever inquired apparently. It hasn't been an issue, but we are trying to get pregnant now so we'll see if that becomes an issue. From what I have experienced, I don' think so.

AdmiralData · 09/03/2013 23:10

Adore mine. She forgave me for breaking up with her son when we were 16 and said even back then that she knew we would end up married. She was right :D

M0naLisa · 09/03/2013 23:11

I love my MIL and can't wait to see her in April for first time in a year. She's the most loveliest person I know. She's like my 2nd mum

Helpexcel · 09/03/2013 23:15

No. Lots of reasons but she thinks I stole her son and is very jealous of our relationship. She favours one of our dc over the others and I won't tolerate that.