WIBU to say no to this dad?

[TidyDancer]

This happened earlier this week, and is actually quite trivial. DP thinks I was being a bit mean, so I thought I'd throw it out there!

I was walking through my local shopping centre after work when a small child (3 or 4 at most) took a shine to my bag. In all fairness, it is a rather lovely bag. It's a pink tote bag with a penguin on it. I use it for my lunch and some odds and ends on work days.

Anyway, aforementioned small child squealed in delight at my bag and I smiled as I passed her. Next thing I knew, the father of the child was tapping me on the shoulder and asking me if his DD could have my bag! I was a bit taken aback tbh, and said that I was sorry, but no, she couldn't have it. I was perfectly nice about it, but walked away to get the car. As I was leaving, I heard the dad say to his DD "sorry darling, the mean rude lady said no". There was crying following this.

Was it really unreasonable of me to not want to give away my bag? It was not a free bag and I was quite stunned tbh.

Any opinions? :)

[montmartre]

You know, it was probably the fifty-millionth thing she'd asked for since 5am when she first screamed in his ear, and he'd probably given up hope of being able to explain why she couldn't have it, and it was just easier to pretend you were unreasonable in not handing it over.

Not that it was fair of him to say you were mean, but I do understand his desperation...

[pluCaChange]

Do you keep the "naughty iPad" in the bag, too?

[TidyDancer]

Montmartre - I would've said that as well, but the comment seemed quite clearly to have been made for my benefit, ie that he wasn't just laying blame at my feet, but that he seemed to genuinely feel I was in the wrong.

[MonaLotte]

WTF? What a weirdo that dad is. I feel sorry for his daughter tbh (at the way she is being brought up, not because the op refused to hand over her bag!).

[montmartre]

He's just an idiot then, ignore!

[ToothGah]

My very clever DP has just put another spin on this when I read the OP out to him.

Said Dad was so frazzled by entitled child who was mithering him about everything all day and then the final straw was the "nice lady's pink penguin bag, I WANT IT NOW!!!"

So he asked you if she could have the bag as she'd been asking for everything all day around the shopping centre and driving him mad, knowing full well you would say no.

Transferred the blame to you for saying no. Voila. I thank you.

[Cherriesarelovely]

Sorry but kids don't "get entitled" just like that and it is a parents job to teach them not to be anyway. What a weird bloke and what an inappropriate request and reaction. I don't care how frazzled he was.

[ToothGah]

I think DP's point he was trying to teach her a lesson that you can't have everything.

TBH, it's the only explanation I can think of. As surely no sane adult would think it acceptable to ask a stranger to hand over their property to their child.

[ToothGah]

Of course it's a parents' job to prevent their child from being entitledcherries. Some parents fail though.

[Pan]

Well, I'm with Cherries - and the lesson 'you can;t have everything' is his to teach her, not TD's expense for being a 'mean woman'. That just transfers the 'fault' to TD and not to either child or dad, imo.

[ToothGah]

Of course it's his job! I'm not saying OP is being U whatsoever, just another explanation.

[Pan]

tbh, the explanation that he is teaching his child that she can't have everything falls down. The 'reason' she can't have everything is that there are some mean people in the world who won't give you stuff you want. That's no explanation or reasoning whatsoever.

[Buzzardbird]

I had a pensive bag once that I wouldn't give away. It felt it 'shouldered' all the blame because I tried to keep a 'clutch' on it. Very sad story :(

[Pan]

but I'm sure the bag had a handle on the situation though Buzzard.

[Buzzardbird]

Zip it pan

[Pan]

but surely this sad story of your bag has a strap line, Buzzard?

[YouTheCat]

You know if he was trying to teach his dd a lesson then it wouldn't really work had the OP given up her bag. That would just show the young lady she can have anything she wants really.

[MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot]

Honestly, you couldn't make it up! Some people are just barking. She's going to grow into a delightful child :)

[GardenPath]

You missed an opportunity there - you should have said to the little girl ''Of course you can have my nice, pink penguin bag - if your daddy gives me 10 nice, crisp, twenty pound notes''.

[Thistledew]

You missed a trick. Your answer to the dad should have been "Yes, if I can have the the entire contents of your wallet. And every stitch of clothing you have on!"

See him give into his daughter's demands then!

[HecateWhoopass]

If it was a lesson, then the lesson was that she is in fact entitled to anything she wants, and anyone who refuses to hand over their belongings is a 'mean, rude' person.

Not really a lesson any sane person would be aiming for!

If it was a lesson in you can't have everything, then he may have asked and then said to the girl see, she said no, and that's because it belongs to her and she didn't want to give it to you, and that's her right...

[HecateWhoopass]

Oh god yeah, that would have been brilliant

Of COURSE you can have it, sweetheart. It's all yours. As soon as daddy gives me £100 you can take it away right now. It's so pretty isn't it. Would you like to stroke it? It's all yours. Isn't that nice? Daddy just has to pay for it...

Times like this you would sell your soul for a time machine

[MidniteScribbler]

Oh dear god, please don't let me ever have that child in my class!

[dummad]

An attempted mugging by a 4yo! YANBU. I'd tell the police. But seriously, what an aggressive manoeuvre by the dad.

[GregBishopsBottomBitch]

I wonder if hes a weekend dad, and thus doesnt have to put up with madams entitled behaviour all the time.