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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sad that Mother's day doesnt include me?

73 replies

redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:16

I don't if IABU

Dp has gone with dd to his parents for the weekend, and will be taking his mum out for lunch. I've asked what about me, as I'm also a mum, but he says that his mum is more important on this day. He has left a card for me to open on the day. I will be alone for the most part of the day.

AIBU to feel sad about this? Dd is only 2 so can't do anything herself. I suggested us going out for dinner, as that's something we never do, but he's not even willing to try to find a babysitter (and going out with dd wouldn't work as she would be tired and grumpy by the time he got back.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 18:17

Why didnt you go too?

RivalSibling · 09/03/2013 18:18

I would be sad, too!

Do you get on with your MiL? Why are you not going, too?

MinnieBar · 09/03/2013 18:18

YANBU.

livinginwonderland · 09/03/2013 18:19

why didn't he invite you?! that's horrible :(

Samnella · 09/03/2013 18:19

YANBU but why didn't you go?

DeepRedBetty · 09/03/2013 18:20

yanbu and dp is being a thoughtless twunt.

ScottyDoc · 09/03/2013 18:21

I swear my jaw literally just dropped at what you wrote. His mum is 'more important' on this day? And you're alone? I think OP, without sounding harsh or meaning to upset you, that this is the least of your worries. I would be majorly concerned if my own dh showed me such disregard and thoughtlessness. :(

mrsjay · 09/03/2013 18:22

IS he normally so horrible to you ?

HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 18:22

Is your MIL terminally ill? Something like that?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 09/03/2013 18:22

Why aren't you going too?

Original poster
redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:22

I'm not going mainly because I have very important exams coming up so need to study, but also MIL makes no secret of her disliking of me and it would just be awkward. I would still like to see dp and dd on the day though.

OP posts:
FellNel · 09/03/2013 18:23

But its your Mother's Day too! He should be making a fuss of you on DD's behalf. Sad

Original poster
redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:23

Holly berry no, she is totally well.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 18:23

So you have chosen not to go? As opposed to not being invited?

Original poster
redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:26

Yes, I have chosen not to go, but its hardly an option atm as I really need to study. I would still have liked to have part of mothers day about me though, I'm not sure if that IBU.

OP posts:
eatssleepsfeeds · 09/03/2013 18:27

Stunned by this. You need to seriously review your relationship. Feel right sorry for you. Take care, OP. YANBU.

maddening · 09/03/2013 18:27

I'd have kept dd with me and let him go then had a mum and dd day.

squeakytoy · 09/03/2013 18:28

Well if you were invited but chose not to go, then yabu really.

JingleMum · 09/03/2013 18:29

YANBU, what a twat. You poor thing.

Of course it's important he sees his mum or sends her flowers or something, but not at the expense of not seeing you/treating you etc...

I'd be furious if I were you.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 09/03/2013 18:29

A day to yourself would be an amazing mothers day gift!!

Original poster
redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:30

He wanted to take dd to show to his family. They never visit (their choice) so haven't seen her for a while. To be fair though, it is impossible to study with a 2 year old as nutty as mine so I was fine with that. What bothers me is that I don't even get an evening together.

OP posts:
Belugagrad · 09/03/2013 18:31

If my dh said he had work to do I would probs leave him to it and go to mums with dd- cant he see you in the afternoon after lunch? I'm not saying this is all ok but you are saying you need to work.

HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 18:31

Maybe I'm being obtuse, but I cant see how a day all about you would allow you to study?

Uppermid · 09/03/2013 18:33

I would've having serious words after a comment like that. And I wouldn't have allowed your dd to see someone who openly dislikes you.

Original poster
redplasticspoon · 09/03/2013 18:34

Holly I don't want a whole day, just the evening, but I'm not even getting that.

Beluga that is what I would like.

OP posts:
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