Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to state 'Happily married people do not update facebook very often''

76 replies

sosooootired · 08/03/2013 20:53

i am sick and tired of all my smug f-in fb 'friends' constantly haring how f-ing 'happy' they are...
i don't believe the half of it...i am sat home on a friday night looking at fb because my fucker of a 'dh' is a..well whole other thread..so i know that if i was as deliriously happy as they all reckon they are i would be nowhere near fb.

agree?

OP posts:
Original poster
sosooootired · 08/03/2013 20:54

sharing - of course

OP posts:
WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 08/03/2013 20:58

Not really, you're contradicting yourself. You are not happy with your DH and presumably on fb not posting. But you say if a couple are truly happy they wouldnt be happy.

Sorry you're havin a shit time. Hide the happy bastards if you need.

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 08/03/2013 20:58

*wouldnt be posting

FutTheShuckUp · 08/03/2013 20:58

Oh Dear. Whats happened with your DH?
But I tend to agree- people who bang on about how great their life is in general are usually talking crap.

Dottiespots · 08/03/2013 20:59

I dont do facebook.Smile

Original poster
sosooootired · 08/03/2013 21:02

Well that's what I mean if you're totally manically happy like 99% of people posting on fb claim to be you'd actually not be sat solitary on a friday night using a computer to brag about your incredibly amazing happiness...you'd be busy doing real stuff

OP posts:
Talkinpeace · 08/03/2013 21:04

DH and I are both on Facebook - and he has a public page as well
BUT
he and I actively avoid PDAs on there as they are as naffon FB as they are in real life.
Then again he and I have been together for 29 years and used to be very PDA in our first few years

BridgetBidet · 08/03/2013 21:05

And people who make sweeping generalizations are bitter and twisted. Apparently.

I don't like the smug facebook posts but i think some of them are genuine.

LowLevelWhinging · 08/03/2013 21:06

it is possible to use facebook AND be happy you know Smile

we're both here fannying around on our laptops, watching telly and drinking wine. In a bit we'll switch off and watch something together.

but yes, the deliriously in love posts are a bit kind of, OH SURE Hmm

Original poster
sosooootired · 08/03/2013 21:09

bridgetbidet - bitter and twisted? duh...i'm moaning on mumsnet on friday night about happy people bragging on fb....

OP posts:
DebbieLovesDallas · 08/03/2013 21:10

Actually, I think you have a point. Years ago DH and I were going through a really rough patch. We were doing our best to try and make it work, but we also had to work through a lot of shit. We were guilty of quite a FB PDAs back then. Blush It was like we had something to prove, like if it we put in public then it had to be true, which we so desperately wanted it to be at the time. Now, we're back on track, our relationship is pretty solid, we're happy. And now neither of us feel the need to prove how happy we are, because we know we are. It's no one else's business.

DebbieLovesDallas · 08/03/2013 21:11

*quite a few FB

PleasePudding · 08/03/2013 21:12

I totally know what you mean. It seems a bit of spin sometimes. Also if you are on the sofa sitting next to each other you presumably don't need to use the medium of evil Facebook to tell them you love them.

I don't get it - unless you know that all of your friends are also 100% happy it seems a bit tactless or slightly wanting to be envied - which is often a sign of insecurity.

Obviously only the people who are always, always doing it as opposed to the one-off ones

Tee2072 · 08/03/2013 21:13

I am very happily married.

I also spend 99% of my life on a computer and so does my husband.

We don't like most other people. It's why we are so suited.

That being said, we rarely post about how happy we are as we are too busy posting about other stuff.

Wait...you mean you're suppose to talk to your spouse in the evening? Really? Shock

Original poster
sosooootired · 08/03/2013 21:13

this did just occur to me as i saw updates from a friend i know has just gone through a hideous break up less than a month ago - her post as usual was rabidly ecstatically happy, and liked by 2 other women.. who i know are in shitty situations too...

OP posts:
HairyHandedTrucker · 08/03/2013 21:13

yanbu. I'm having such an amazing time I stopped what I was doing to update my status 3times in an hour.

Snazzynewyear · 08/03/2013 21:14

OK, this is about Twitter but I think it probably transfers: I posted this the other week but am still looking for people to agree that these habits between couples on social networks are odd!

Things like:

Always referencing the other person in a tweet so they'll read it, with @snazzy at the end if it's not in the middle somewhere

Using it to have a conversation when in different rooms and make requests, e.g. for the other person to bring them a cup of tea

Always retweeting anything nice said about their partner (e.g. 'Snazzy thanks for fixing our garden fence, it looks loads better now' from MIL, for instance)

Using tweets with partner copied in to indirectly make a point, e.g. 'Wanted to watch Great British Bake Off but @snazzy is glued to Friends instead'

Boasting about stuff partner is doing for them: 'My wonderful partner @snazzy is taking me to @swankyeaterie later, best get myself ready!'

#ff'ing one another persistently

Disclaimers: yes it's none of my business; no, it doesn't really hurt anyone; yes, I probably should get off the computer and get a life instead of being all heated over people's tweets.

But does this irritate anyone else? Or is it only people I know who do it?

BegoniaBampot · 08/03/2013 21:15

Must admit I get really suspicious (and boakey) about folk who gush all the time about their other half, life, friends etc. In fact I have a FB friend (was an old friend who I don't really see anymore). Pre Fb I knew her as a lovely, confident, funny lady. Seeing her FB contributions makes me see her in a totally different light.

HollyBerryBush · 08/03/2013 21:16

sigh friends who emigrated to OZ use FB to keep in touch - if I see another fecking BBQ when we are in the pissing rain I shall scream , oh yeah, they even have BBQs in their winter sigh

I think it's a generational thing - FB I use, I read, I might do a status every 3 or 4 days - but I neither have DH or the offspring on mine, really it's just used for world wide relatives to keep in touch. The kids live through FB, every little nuance of their lives - but even saying that BBM broadcasts are more their thing. Or Twitter.

FB is the province of old farts.

wannaBe · 08/03/2013 21:16

when I see the "I am so in love with x" posts I think A, where's a bucket and B, who are you trying to convince?"

Tee2072 · 08/03/2013 21:19

"Or is it only people I know who do it?"

I actually don't know anyone who does any of those things so I guess it's only you. Grin

Snazzynewyear · 08/03/2013 21:21

Tee2072 Ok, I'll get my coat... but do you think that is odd behaviour, then, seeing as no-one you know does it?

Snazzynewyear · 08/03/2013 21:22

HollyBerryBush but their tv's terrible. Reply to them about how you are watching the latest gripping tv series you're into and how great the BBC is. Wink

Original poster
sosooootired · 08/03/2013 21:22

thank you all and debbielovesdallas especially - exactly
this is what i know, when me and dh have been going through crap i am guilty of attempting to deflect too and so i know all this gush and guff stinks...

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 08/03/2013 21:22

Not really. To each their own. I'm very much a live and let live kind of person. They aren't hurting anyone, are they?

And I have been known to text my husband from upstairs rather than shout down. Not that much different, actually.

Swipe left for the next trending thread