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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you don't *need* a big car, just because you have a baby?

88 replies

dreamingbohemian · 08/03/2013 12:37

I know this might come off as somewhat bitchy, but it's a genuine question as I don't drive and am not a car person, so I'm wondering if I'm missing some logic here. I'm feeling judgy toward my ILs and would rather not be!

Basically, SIL and BIL have had money problems for quite a while, and now one of their cars has died. Instead of replacing it with something small and cheap, they are borrowing 10-12,000 from the bank to buy a large car (like the one that died). Their rationale is that they need a larger car because they have a child and he has so much gear (they do visit friends a lot so need space for buggy, travel cot, their bags, etc.)

I don't really get it as we used to get by with no car at all, and now that DH needs a car for work we just have a tiny one and it's fine.

I know I shouldn't judge Blush but they are not really shy about borrowing money from all of us and so it's hard to ignore their money issues.

I just wonder if maybe there are other reasons to have a larger car, that are really obvious and they're not bothering to mention, because on the face of it I don't see how one baby means you need a big car. But again, I really don't know anything about cars Blush Their parents seem to think this is a good rationale so perhaps IABU.

OP posts:
Katienana · 08/03/2013 12:42

You.don't need a big car but it makes life easier. A.5 door is much easier than a 3 door for getting babies in and out of the back. You can get a decent big 2nd hand car for 3k though, no need to spend more.

Madratlady · 08/03/2013 12:44

They don't NEED a bigger car. Many smallish cars have decent sized boots, you wouldn't believe how much we got in our VW Polo when we moved house. I imagine a 4 door car would be easier for getting baby in and out but again, not essential.

They don't NEED a new car either, even buying one a few years old saves thousands.

Technically they don't need a car at all but it makes life a lot easier!

YApossiblyBU for caring about what your SIL and BIL are doing since it doesn't really affect you, but YANBU for having an opinion.

Madratlady · 08/03/2013 12:44

Crossposted with Katie who seems to share my opinion anyway!

pinkbear82 · 08/03/2013 12:46

I'm currently having this debate with DP - I too don't drive. We have a perfectly good car, yes a 3 door, and yes probably the dog and buggy won't fit in the boot together. But I don't see why we need to up the costs of everything just yet, I'd rather wait and see.

UseHerName · 08/03/2013 12:47

dd and i survived with a 1995 fiesta for years Grin we were delighted at being on the road itself!

wigglesrock · 08/03/2013 12:48

A 5 door is so much easier than a 3 door with regard to carseats especially when the baby gets a little bit older and isn't as easy to "shoehorn" in. My husband has a Ka and we can't get the buggy and a weeks load of groceries into the boot.

Fairylea · 08/03/2013 12:51

You would have loved me... I had a 1999 fiat seicento (inbetweeners car) and I managed to fit me dh dd aged 9 and ds 7 months in it, with car seat and silver cross chassis in the boot!! Was an absolutely awesome car. I loved it :)

You don't need a big car. And you certainly don't need to spend £12k you don't have on one.

I brought my current car for £995 ... Renault megane expression. It's been fantastic.

AdriftAndOutOfStardust · 08/03/2013 12:51

I have a tiny little Yaris, though it does have 5 doors, and we can fit kit&caboodle for baby & still have plenty of spare room. YANBU but it's their choice in the end and it's not like their choice really hurts you is it.

BettyStogs · 08/03/2013 12:53

Agree, we had a fiesta until DS was just over 12mo, just took careful packing when we went away anywhere. That died, so we have a slightly newer bigger car now, but didn't spend anywhere near £10k

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 08/03/2013 12:53

I've had 4 small cars, I have a Picanto now with practically no boot, i survive.

One thing i dont understand is people who have 4 x 4's that never actually go off road, theres loads on school pick, boggles the mind.

Ginismyfriend · 08/03/2013 12:59

I can see how it's easier but you don't need one. We've managed all the way with a Fiat 500 despite everyone telling us we'd need to get rid of it and I love my little car.

We've been on week-long holidays away with a pushchair and dismantled Antilop and managed fine. DD is an ERF seat and these days she mainly climbs in via the boot anyway Grin

lynniep · 08/03/2013 13:02

well, firstly, of course they don't NEED one

But

Babies take up more room than any other person imo in spite of them being so little themselves :) You need all sorts of gubbins for babies. Travel cots, buggies, sterilisers, nappies, blah blah. Mine need less and less the older they get. 5 doors much easier to cope with than 3. Large boot makes life MUCH simpler. We swapped our 3 door nissan for a 5 door when DS1 was due and at the time I had no idea why we needed such a big car either. Now I do :)

Again though - if they are in financial trouble, I wouldnt have thought this top of the priority list. They can MANAGE with a smaller car. After all, one baby means room in the back as well as the boot. The thing is though - if they get an OLDER car they can still get a bigun. We have a nissan tino. Its probably worth just over a grand at 10 years old. Its very reliable. Big boot. Room for 3 in the back.

Not really your business though unless they want this money from you. And you said they are going to the bank.

FantasticDay · 08/03/2013 13:03

No. You don't. We have two small children and are keen campers. May I draw people's attention to the benefits of a roofbox?

HiggsBoson · 08/03/2013 13:04

I've had a basic model VW Polo since DD was born and funnily enough I find it EASIER than when I've had to get DD and her carseat in and out of friends' 5 door cars. You kind of have to bend sideways with a rear door, whereas in my little 3 door hatchback I get right inside and sit in the back of the front passenger seat.

Definitely don't need one and I'm amazed at how many people can possibly afford them. We're very grateful for the little car we have :)

Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 08/03/2013 13:05

That's true, I didn't really think about the doors!

I do know I'm BU to judge Blush In my defence I didn't for a long time, it's only recently as I sense BIL is going to ask DH for money again.

But I'd rather not feel this way hence asking if there's any way they might be reasonable and I'm being ignorant.

I imagine, for example, if you're used to having a big car, it might be really hard to downsize? Maybe people feel big cars are safer?

OP posts:
OBface · 08/03/2013 13:13

I would have found a 5 door car easier when DD was a baby and the car seat you physically had to carry to car. However, now the car seat is fixed, I find my smaller 3 door car more practical as I can move the front seat forward when putting her in than my husbands large 5 door estate.

iwouldgoouttonight · 08/03/2013 13:17

We had a three door fiesta when we just had just DS, then when DD came along, DP eventually persuaded me that we should change it for an estate car. I really didn't think we needed anything bigger but it did come in handy because we had a double buggy and all sorts of crap we had to transport about when visiting in laws, etc.

But we could have got by without it, it just made things a bit easier. We spent less than three grand on it, I don't understand why your BIL and SIL would need to spend 10-12k on a car. Having said that I also know people who are struggling with money but will borrow to be able to buy a new car. I think they are insane.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 08/03/2013 13:20

I have a Micra and I'm not changing it. When the baby becomes a wriggling child who's desperate to escape, I'll be glad it's only 3 door.

sherbetpips · 08/03/2013 13:20

I have to admit it does wind me up a bit too (although wouldn't say no to a range rover if you give me one!). Baby number 2 fair enough but so many people turn up at work in people carriers when they are expecting there first it makes me laugh. My mum had a renault 5 and there were 4 of us. Holidays to devon where a little uncomfortable as I had to be with the dog in the boot but oh well we all survived!

sherbetpips · 08/03/2013 13:20

my DH has an mx-5 for the first 4 years of DS life. He loved it!

AugustaProdworthy · 08/03/2013 13:22

i had to part with my beloved Audi TT as although DS and I could fit in the front the buggy top was in the back with the bags and the buggy wheels in the boot. It was a squeeze....

Flobbadobs · 08/03/2013 13:26

Fantastic yep, a roofbox and squeezing as much gear as you can in the footwells! I spent an interesting 3 hours sat on and around various bits and pieces the last time we camped, and the DC's used the sleeping bags as travel blankets Grin
Haven't been camping since the baby was born yet so not sure how that will work...
OP, YANBU, it would be nice but not a need.

Chandon · 08/03/2013 13:28

Everybody can choose what they like, it is not realy any of your business.

Just never lend them cash!

Lilymaid · 08/03/2013 13:32

With one baby we managed perfectly well with a 3 door supermini - despite the difficulties of getting child into child seat in back when he outgrew the babyseat. We moved up to a small family car when we had two DCs.
We have friends who managed with a Polo plus 3 children (and went camping). Roof box helpful, though.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 08/03/2013 13:35

It's daft to get into debt if you can't comfortably pay it back for a car of any size!

I don't get all this look how much I can get in a small car though! I've had small cars and I now have a big car! I prefer the big oneGrin More space, no squishing people and stuff in and most importantly it was within our budget, both to buy and the upkeep!

We camp and it's great being able to shove it all in the back and the dses having room to breathe. I could have a roofbox, but we've done that and both hated it. It makes the car noisy, it's a bugger to pack and unpack and I'm always waiting for the roof to fall inConfused

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