to think you don't *need* a big car, just because you have a baby?

[dreamingbohemian]

I know this might come off as somewhat bitchy, but it's a genuine question as I don't drive and am not a car person, so I'm wondering if I'm missing some logic here. I'm feeling judgy toward my ILs and would rather not be!

Basically, SIL and BIL have had money problems for quite a while, and now one of their cars has died. Instead of replacing it with something small and cheap, they are borrowing 10-12,000 from the bank to buy a large car (like the one that died). Their rationale is that they need a larger car because they have a child and he has so much gear (they do visit friends a lot so need space for buggy, travel cot, their bags, etc.)

I don't really get it as we used to get by with no car at all, and now that DH needs a car for work we just have a tiny one and it's fine.

I know I shouldn't judge but they are not really shy about borrowing money from all of us and so it's hard to ignore their money issues.

I just wonder if maybe there are other reasons to have a larger car, that are really obvious and they're not bothering to mention, because on the face of it I don't see how one baby means you need a big car. But again, I really don't know anything about cars Their parents seem to think this is a good rationale so perhaps IABU.

I have a Ka and a 2yo DS. My family live 3hrs drive away so I travel in it a lot. I've never ever had a problem having a little car and in someways prefer it to, say, my mum's Mitsubishi ASX as I find I nip around in it through country lanes and park easily in the city. I keep the pram & travel cot in the boot (and can still fit shopping etc around them) and obviously the car seat is permanently in the back so I don't have to take it in/out (not that I found this a problem when using the baby carrier seat).

However, I know my dad worries about the safety aspect of a smaller car and I love travelling in my mum's for the comfort factor - it has heated seats and everything - I don't even have a CD player

So although I totally don't think YABU about needing a bigger car, if I had the option I would choose to get one. I don't have that option without getting into debt and I don't want to do that, but if your IL's choose to they obviously put having a bigger car as a higher priority.

I drive a corsa and when I found a pram which fitted it hasnt been a problem. It has 5 doors though I wouldn't fancy doing 3 doors if I could help it

No you dont need a bigger car with DC's, but it does make things easier. I had a Ford Puma when I had DS2 and I have travelled with him with pushchairs and other gear without a problem. I had a lrger car with DS1 and I do think you think you wouldn't manage with something smaller

OH has said recently that we probably would have to get something with a little more legroom next time as DS no longer sits cross legged and is getting bigger

little focus That made my evening.

I get what you're saying. For quite a while we only had one car and its (ok a 5 door) Polo. You should have seen the looks on the staff's faces at Toys R Us and Mothercare about trying to find a travel system that would fit in the boot! Is the Polo your main car?! Er, no, it's our only car! Thank goodness for Kiddicare :)

We needed another car (DH no longer had access to a works van when he changed jobs) and yes we bought a bigger car - a Vauxhall Vectra estate. However we bought an 05 plate from a family member second hand. It's certainly convenient to have a bigger car but we bought what we could afford. I can understand why you think it's a bit odd that they're borrowing so much money to buy a big, expensive car.

I definitely agree that you need to stand your ground and not loan them any money! It's one thing to borrow from the bank and another to over stretch yourselves by dipping into your family's pockets to do it!

I don't think you need a big car, but having said that, I love our estate, it's like having an extra room! I keep loads of stuff in the boot permenantly and yet still have room for a weeks shopping and the dog.
You don't need to spend 12 grand though, ours cost 16 hundred and is fine.

Deends really. Are they planning to extend their family? I'd rather pay once and keep a good car on the road knowing it will alst through the teenage years along with sports kids and suit cases whe you go on holiday. I hardly fit 3 teenagers and all their junk in a micra!

When they finally bugger off I'll downsize to another car thats more suitable for a geriatric old lady

I get my mobility scooter into the boot of my micra.
And 60 miles per gallon.
I think some people just like chucking money away.

I've got a Passat estate and the boot really is like another room! It's a lovely comfortable car and you just don't get that feeling in a small car, sorry. Bigger cars are so much roomier and better laid out. You can actually move your arms without bumping the person sitting in the passenger seat. There's legroom in the back and plenty of storage. I wouldn't have a small car again if I could stretch to a big one. And yes, I do feel safer in it.

I had a Polo on loan once. I couldn't get my stroller pushchair in the boot, folded up obviously, without taking the parcel shelf out. Ridiculously small car. Felt awfully cramped and uncomfortable. The pedals were closer together, the gear stick was nearly in my knee and I could just get the two children's seats in the back seat. I could just about get the school bags in the boot with the pushchair and apart from the passenger seat that was the car full. Where the grocery shopping or dogs would go I have no idea.

I had a Clio before this car. When dd1 got to six months or so and I was doing the grocery shopping and having to take the pushchair out with me sometimes, I used to get sick of having a full car so I swapped with dh's Passat. Bliss.

I've got a Renault Megane and we have a baby and a Labrador. I have to admit it would be nice to have a slightly bigger car with more boot space for travelling but we manage just fine. I think the issue is more them borrowing money they don't have and can't really afford by the sounds of it. Not sure why you need to pay £12k for a car. Great if you have the money but a bit daft if you don't.

We had a Ka until DS grew out of his first car seat and we could not fit an extended rear facing carseat into the back. We bought a 2007 Saab sportwagon with 80k on the clock in beautiful condition for a little under £6k, with money off for trading in the Ka. It is unquestionably safer, doesnt get blown sideways by 16 wheelers on the highway, and the whole car doesn't shudder when it hits 70, so I wouldn't trade back for anything.

So while your BIL and SIL are not necessarily BU to feel they need a bigger car, they are being totally U to spend 12k of someone else's money when you can get a lovely used car for half that price.

We need a big car as we have 3dc in car seats. When we first had ds1 I had a Toyota Aygo, which up until that point I had loved - it gave me the willes every time I took ds out in it, it was so small, he was so close to the back windscreen.........I soon swapped it for something bigger/safer.

we have a fiesta, that isn't even ours, and three children. It was fine with two but with the baby as well it's a proper squash to get anything elsei nt here, ie, buggy, Tenor horn for school, bell tent especially all at once!

I would love a bigger car but we do manage fine and tbh I'm fretting about being able to park anything bigger.

Op if they need a bigger car they're welcome to my Passat. It's lovely and solid and reliable and roomy and has never failed its Mot. However I am a bit bored of it now, I've been driving it for nearly ten years and would like to try something different. I want about £2,500 for it. They can give me £12,000 if they like.

Is that a Passat estate, I lovemydog?? I want one of those! I'll pay you 2.5k but I live in Ireland, annoyingly!

When you drive a Picasso, a Focus is little.

The one before that was a Ka. Now there's a sardine tin little car.

I love my teensy little car! It's really fuel efficient, costs nothing in road fund, insurance is £82 per year, can always find a parking spot.... IMO it's far more convenient to have a little narrow car than some ugly overpriced behemoth.
My DH has a slightly bigger one (a Nissan Note, ooh, the glamour!) which is handy (largely because neither ski's nor kayak will fit into mine).
But have no idea why (given that you said ONE of their cars has died) they feel the need to buy a second large car.

I agree 5 drs way easier than 3. I've no idea why people think a bigger car is intrisically safer though - some are, some aren't.

Thanks again people, I definitely have a better sense now of why ILs want a big car, although I'm glad to see people agree you don't necessarily need one.

I also didn't realise 10K was a lot for a car! We got a really good deal on our (used) car so I don't really know what typical car prices are.

I'm not sure they're thinking in terms of future kids, I know SIL wants more but BIL doesn't, and he's equally keen on the big car.

Ilovemydog Ha, thanks for your kind offer!

Cuddly DH actually does think of his savings as 'ours', but I'm not always comfortable with that as it's all money he had before we got together, and a big chunk of it is money he got from his parents ages ago -- so it seems a bit like family money, and if he wants to spend it on family, I don't feel quite right saying he shouldn't.

"and if he wants to spend it on family, I don't feel quite right saying he shouldn't."

But you are his family as well.

YANBU, we had a VW Polo when DS was a baby and managed just fine. If they have money difficulties, it is not so much the size of car that is the problem, but that they are borrowing so much from the bank to buy their new car, especially if they are then borrowing money from your DH.

I've just bought a Picasso with a full glass roof, working climate control, cruise control and even automatic wipers and lights. It has a full service history and looks new apart from the tell-tale numb4erplate. It cost £13oo.

They may need a b4ig car, b4ut they don7't n7eed a £1=0k car.

n7o idea what is up with my keyb4oard b4tw!

Someone I know bought a new Range Rover Evoque last year. £63k I shit you not. Then I had to give her a lift one day because she couldn't fit something in the fairly smallish boot. I did take the poss a bit but to be fair her car is bloody lovely.

You certainly don't need to spend that much money on a car.

We have a "big" car. A Peugeot 307 SW. It is an estate, can fit 7 seats if need be, or otherwise have penty of space for luggage and bikes (we are quite active and take the bikes out a lot). 5k second hand, so did not exactly break the bank. Borrowing 10-12 k for a car when you have money problems is silly, but it is not for you to judge, as you know....

Yep I do know Pure

£63,000!

How do people leave their driveway with something that costs that much? It must be so nerve-wracking!