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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you friends with your neighbour?

53 replies

Sharptic · 07/03/2013 21:56

I'm not sure if I'm being slightly odd
I like our neighbours, our Dd's are the same age but not in school yet.

Kids get on, we enjoy a good chat over fence but I think I'm holding back a bit in making a good friendship.

Would you make a good friendship with your neighbour?

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/03/2013 22:01

Considering one side are nocturnal alcoholics and the other keeps phoning council/RSPCA/police and fabricating crap about us, no.

However, when we were going up we had lovely neighbours. Our parents werent too friendly, just civil, but all the kids got on really well.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/03/2013 22:02

Growing*

Bartlebee · 07/03/2013 22:04

Yes, we have very lovely neighbours indeed. Older than us, with grown up kids but terribly fond of our children and very generous at Christmas and birthdays.

ImagineJL · 07/03/2013 22:08

I'm like you OP. lovely neighbours, kids sometimes play together in gardens in summer, regular friendly chats over fence etc. But I find myself wary of getting too matey, I think it's because it might feel stifling if they started to pop round all the time. I think they feel the same.

DoJo · 07/03/2013 22:09

Hmm - it's tricky. I always think a nice friendly 'Hi, how are you' relationship is ideal with your neighbours. Much more and you run the risk of getting fed up with having them all up in your business if you find out you don't get on quite as well as you thought, but it's nice to be on good terms. I suppose if your kids get on, you can have a relationship which is more about them than yourselves which might be a bit easier, and it is nice for them to have friends close by.

aldiwhore · 07/03/2013 22:10

We had lovely neighbours and we were more friendly that 'just nice people who live next door' we also held back on getting too close... I looked after my neighbour when he was bedridden and terminally ill when his children couldn't be there and in between McMillan visits, we adopted his cat, he was a great neighbour... close enough to bring joy and happiness to each side, not so close that he just wandered in the house and made himself at home like my close mates would.

Our new neighbour is also bloody lovely, we share many interests, always say more than hello, could get closer but I do think that TIME will see to that, I hold back a little because if you get it wrong a BAD neighbour or a fall out could become unbearable.

I have no doubt that, had he lived, our last neighbour would have become close enough to always get an invite to our family events and parties... I think unspoken ground rules are important, he knew never to knock if the kitchen light was off.

On the flip side, my friend has a neighbour with children of similar age to hers, in my opinion they got too friendly too quick, and now the neighbour invites herself around when my friend is entertaining/chilling with other friends, gets offended if she's not invited, won't take hints, and though she's lovely, many of the circle have backed off visiting my friend because she is always always there.... she's a 'good neighbour' but she's become a bit too close for comfort for my mate.

CocacolaMum · 07/03/2013 22:10

Both sides are ancient.

One is a widow who dislikes us and we dislike her. She still popped a note on my door the other day tho when I managed to go out and leave my keys in the door to say she had seen them and was hanging onto them for me and I popped round when I heard she had had a fall and gave my phone number in case she needed anything

The other side are a couple who are lovely. I took him to hospital and sat with them for hours last winter when she had a nasty fall on the ice and about a week later they removed the MAHOOSIVE conifers at the end of their garden which had blotted out the sun from our garden for ages.. They are always taking in packages for me, always put our bin out or bring it in when if I forget. My son sometimes pops round when he gets home from school to have a drink and a chat with them... I wouldn't say we are friends, they are more like adopted grandparents really :)

Terranova · 07/03/2013 22:11

It's our neighbours that keep us here, they are all lovely. A few are private and have kept themselves to themselves, but over all it's the reason we have stayed here and not moved.

As we have no family local it's our neighbours who I call on in emergencys. I count my lucky stars. If we should move, they are all going to have to come too!!!

Oreocrumbs · 07/03/2013 22:13

Oh yes my NDN has become one of my closest friends.

At first it was a friendly hello and brief chat, but when we had children we spent more time together.

At first in the garden, hopping over the fence to all sit in the same garden - it was silly to stand with a fence between us with our DD's on each side. Then we went somewhere for a coffee with the kids and now we spend a lot of time together.

We have also removed some pannels fron ther fence so we can walk straight in. Saves on splinters Wink.

We are not in each others pockets though. I don't think either of us are that kind of person. When we don't have plans, we can go a couple of weeks between even seeing each other. It's not a case of being in and out of each others houses, just a regular friendship in that we make arrangments to do something with or without the children.

See where it goes, you can never have too many friends.

Catsu · 07/03/2013 22:13

Yes. I live in a close, we have bbqs together, go out for drinks, make each other cakes and look after each others kids, feeds each others cats etc all the time. It's lovely :-)

CMOTDibbler · 07/03/2013 22:16

We've got some lovely neighbours, and some manky ones. Only one set that we have round for dinner, but thats more that most of them are over 60

maras2 · 07/03/2013 22:16

Not now unfortunately as most of the houses in our street are multi lets and as we are in a very big university city they are occupied by students.Nothing wrong with that but I do miss the sound of kids playing out in the street;also the houses are very quiet during student vacation.When we moved here 30 years ago we seemed to know all of the neighbours but now we only know 3 families.Shame,but it seems to be a sign of the times.

StuntGirl · 07/03/2013 22:19

No, we hate both our neighbours. Both are rude, unsociable and horrible :(

The lady two doors down is lovely though.

Whyriskit · 07/03/2013 22:20

Our neighbours were lovely, had children of similar ages etc, so socialised a bit. They have now split up and sold the house so waiting for new ones. We live on an estate with a lot of children so it's a very friendly place, especially as a lot of the children are in the same year of school. Lots of people to call on in an emergency!

kelhen · 07/03/2013 22:21

I would love nice neighbours but am not that lucky. One set are nice but keep to themselves, the other set are totally unfriendly Sad

freddiefrog · 07/03/2013 22:21

There are 7 houses in my little estate

2 are really good friends
1 we're on "good morning" terms
2 we'll have a chat when we see each other/I could borrow a screw driver if I was desperate
1 (next door) none of us get on with

pixi2 · 07/03/2013 22:21

Bloomin heck, no.

One side are very strange, DH is convinced they are dodgy to say the least.

Other side is a sweetheart but v. elderly. Rude daughter tried to rope me into household chores schedule as she lives in the next village.

I have my own mum and two preschoolers thanks. Oh, my mum lives in her village, perhaps we should have done a swap?

EchoBitch · 07/03/2013 22:22

I was but they moved about five days ago.

They were renting for about four years and the LL wanted the house back for her DD.

I am very sad.

EchoBitch · 07/03/2013 22:24

They had four boys,three at home and the littlest was a darling.

They were all nice boys.

They had a trampoline in the garden which i usually loathe but they were ok.

They had loads of barbies which we went to aswell.

pixi2 · 07/03/2013 22:24

Oooo, but there is a lovely lady round the corner who keeps inviting me for a cup of tea. Need to find out discreetly if she is bf before I walk round with a bottle of wine for us to share.

YouTheCat · 07/03/2013 22:26

My nearest neighbour is an alcoholic old bugger who gets through a litre of brandy a day and likes to letch at the school girls.

INeverSaidThat · 07/03/2013 22:29

I am friends with one nieghbour. She is lovely and we go out with each other most weeks. I know she would help me out and she knows I would help her. We try not too be in each other pockets though.

My other nieghbours are great too. They live overseas and keep the house unoccupied. (No noise, no BBQs etc etc) A handyman looks after the garden.

The nieghbour opposite is also lovely and employs my DC's as babysitters to boot.

I think I am very lucky Grin
the nieghbour at the end of our garden is a nasty piece of work though Sad

Sharptic · 07/03/2013 22:34

Aaah lots of replies to make me think I might need to chill out a bit!

I am quite self concious and like my own space but I think I'm being daft really.

Think I'll take down a fence panel tomorrow ;-)

OP posts:
Rhubarbgarden · 07/03/2013 22:38

I caught my two year old and next door's four year old trying to take out a fence panel yesterday so they could play together.

Piffpaffpoff · 07/03/2013 22:40

Not friends, no. One side are inconsiderate buggers, yappy dogs in the back garden that are left out to bark for ages, and bark and growl through the fence when I hang my washing out. I hate it. And she runs a beauty business from her house and all her callers park in front of my house, not hers. It's almost like she's told them to Hmm.

However, folk on the other side are lovely and we are on 'arms-length' chatting terms with them and the folk across the road, take in parcels, put out bins etc. it's nice.

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