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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why some people don't RSVP to DC parties?

310 replies

MrsMushroom · 04/03/2013 14:11

Confused I can't fathom it really. Out of 28 DC in DDs class, 22 have responded with thank you we'd love to come...one has let me know they will be away that weekend and 5 have not responded at all!

I see one of the Mothers sometimes....what's the deal?? Obviously we can't go to ALL the parties ALL the time and I'm happy with 22 that are attending...but I don't know how many bleddy party bags to make now! I'll have to make the extra 5 incase these children turn up won't I?

I could assume 2 for example lost invitations....but surely no more than that? It's such bad form!

OP posts:
Lancelottie · 07/03/2013 10:02

Nah, Juggling, we do it because we want to annoy.

That's the only acceptable answer.

mrsshackleton · 07/03/2013 10:04

OP, it is EXTREMELY annoying when people don't rsvp. However, none of us is perfect, we all forget things from time to time so you have to be zen. Approach the mothers who haven't replied. I've been approached and I never received the invite. If you don't want to do that, then you will have to just make the extra party bags up.

I've learned over the years that there are certain parents who never reply because they are socially inept, their kids always show, and ime no reply means "yes."

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/03/2013 10:10

I think the short answer is to be really friendly and considerate to others, as well as to help your DC's have a great party with all their friends, you have to be prepared to do a bit of reminding and chasing up of invitations, with as much good grace as you can muster !

PanickingIdiot · 07/03/2013 10:24

People who have enough time to invite 28 kids to their children's birthday party probably have enough time to deal with the extra 5 who'll show up (or not) without having RSVP-d.

Not a problem you'll ever catch me having.

JaquelineHyde · 07/03/2013 10:34

MrsMushroom You appear perfectly happy to have anyone who agrees with you come on to the thread and repeat the same things that have been said over and over again. Yet those who don't agree with you are now being asked to leave the thread or told off for not reading the whole thread because they are repeating already made arguments.

Do you not think that this is just a little bit hypocritical and very, very childish?

In answer to your original question...NO YANBU to wonder why some people do not RSVP to party invites. However, You are being utterly unreasonable to not accept any of the very real reasons you have been given for this to happen.

You have even gone one step further and been quite insulting about those who don't reply, you have insinuated that people who don't reply are the ones other mums talk about in the playground and have gone as far to say that you hate it when some people think their problems are the be all and end all and that they get right on your tits.

Maybe, just maybe this is why some people (myself included) have not taken very kindly to you and your attitude and have been down right upset by what you have posted.

Original poster
MrsMushroom · 07/03/2013 10:53

jaquliene I said those insulting things because YOU were insulting to ME.

OP posts:
Maryz · 07/03/2013 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsMushroom · 07/03/2013 10:54

Oh whatever...I don't like it when people pile in and have a go at an OP because they're bored.

OP posts:
Maryz · 07/03/2013 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsMushroom · 07/03/2013 10:58

What do people want from me? For me to admit I'm wrong? I don't think I am...nor do lots of others.

I don't think as many as 5 people in my DC class have problems that equal Coffe's....so in all likelyhood some of them are rude/disorganised because they just are!

is that an unreasonable assumption? No. I don't accept that.

OP posts:
Lancelottie · 07/03/2013 11:02

Gosh.

Do you really assume it's because people are rude?

I tend to assume 'rude' involves some deliberate, y'know, rudeness. As in 'That bloody Mushroom, I'll show her what I think of her pesky party invitations. Take that! Pah!'

JaquelineHyde · 07/03/2013 11:05

So your rudeness is all my fault, even the rudeness before I came on the thread and posts you have made directly in response to other posters (like the gets on my tits comment). Righty-ho! I am obviously frickin amazing. Thanks Smile

Maryz · 07/03/2013 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsMushroom · 07/03/2013 11:07

jaqueline the gets on my tits comment was an EXACT imitation of one someone else said...I think it was Coffee. So whatever you think or want other to think you think...it's bollocks. You come over as odd frankly.

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/03/2013 11:08

If you're an organised person though it may be that you've been lucky to have those skills come quite easily to you (though of course I don't know, maybe you work very hard at it ?)

IMHO it's about understanding that those skills may not come so easily to others. Smile Sometimes because of life circumstances, but also importantly, just because they are different to you.

"because they just are" in your post can be looked at in different ways ?!

Lancelottie · 07/03/2013 11:09

This thread has been useful, though.

DD vaguely mentioned 'Emily's Party' yesterday, but we have seen neither hide nor hair of an invitation. I shall try to remember to check with parent of Emily tonight (whichever Emily it is, and whether or not she has truly invited DD. Uh oh. Whole new minefield looms...)

Growlithe · 07/03/2013 11:11

Could we all calm down? It's a few extra butties and party bags. Save it for when you are organising her wedding. Grin

Lancelottie · 07/03/2013 11:11

Maybe people are too scared to reply to OP without a cast-iron excuse for delay as she's starting to scare me

SanityClause · 07/03/2013 11:17

What Maryz said.

(Although, this could be added by me to pretty much any post she ever makes. Smile)

agirland2boys · 07/03/2013 11:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Maryz · 07/03/2013 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 07/03/2013 11:19

I've chased some people on the past who look at me as if I've got two heads and say "yes, of course she's coming, I'd have told you if she wasn't", when the invitation clearly states the RSVP date required. When you have to pay in advance I'd rather not have to use my ESP when giving the venue final numbers.

So, yes, people don't reply for all sorts of genuine reasons, but it doesn't mean a large percentage just haven't got the social awareness to understand they're being rude.

agirland2boys · 07/03/2013 11:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

SanityClause · 07/03/2013 11:39

Well, actually, Maryz, I told the OP that she should get over herself a couple of days ago, so maybe you are piling in!

Hmmm?!

mummytime · 07/03/2013 11:40

I wonder what you will do when a parent accepts the invitation and then the child doesn't show?

I did this once as I genuinely forgot (don't think my DS forgave me). Another child the parents got the time wrong by 2 hours. In another case the home life was disorganised. In another DD didn't got, but I thought that was obvious as she had been off with Swine Flu. And there are numerous cases of overnight sickness etc.

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