Going out this evening for a friend's birthday meal (not a milestone birthday) and was planning on just giving her a card, but am starting to wonder whether that is BU.
There are about 8 of us in this friendship group and have known them around 5 years. I have never given them birthday presents - just cards. It doesn't seem necessary to me to give presents to adult friends unless it's a special birthday.
But, I've noticed over the years that they do all exchange presents, albeit small ones. It makes me feel a little awkward on nights out when I've just got them a card...but have carried on. This particular friend got me a box of chocolates for my last birthday, so it does make me feel a bit shit not to reciprocate.
Problem is I'm in a totally different financial situation to them. They're all in decently paid jobs and are still child-free - whereas I'm a SAHM, DH only has a modest wage and we always live hand to mouth. This month is already going to be expensive for me what with this night out, DH's and DD's birthdays. Buying even a small present for her would be a stretch.
So, AIBU not to? Even though she got me something and I know they'll all have things for her? I also worry that if I do get her something, will the others wonder why I've never done so for them?