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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the difference between the top and bottom pics could be the secret to the mil/dil divide?

56 replies

MyDarlingClementine · 28/02/2013 23:05

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2286132/Women-piling-pounds-cut-housework-study-shows.html

Started another thread on this - as the pics tickled me but I couldnt work out why.

Now I do - I think its because alot of mil/dil probs come because we have changed so much in our roles - ( women) since them and us - and they see sons coming home to pic 1 which could be me and they get upset?

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 28/02/2013 23:11

That woman in the top picture Grin

BumpingFuglies · 28/02/2013 23:14

Oh stoppit. Yet another Daily Bollocks made up bullshit report.

Where's me pinny?

squeakytoy · 28/02/2013 23:18

I can see the truth in the article really..

Many of us do spend a lot more time sat on our backsides at a computer and how often do you see people post that if their internet wasnt working they would get more done..

I am certainly guilty of spending far too many hours parked in front of a pc monitor when I have things that I should be doing which would burn off calories..

KD0706 · 28/02/2013 23:21

I think my mil is horrified at how little I do for DH. I'm a sahm. I have a cleaner and I don't iron his shirts.

However I am slim (ish) and when he comes home he doesn't find me loafing like that photo - I'm usually chasing children around, covered in paint, flour or some such thing.

Apparently, my DH as a toddler was content to sit in a box on the doorstep for much of the morning, watching the world go by, while mil cleaned the house.

I think that's the difference now. I go out to play groups where I can have a coffee and a chat. I'm not sure that sort of thing existed back in the day.

(if anybody who knows me reads this, the box comment may out me...)

MortifiedAdams · 28/02/2013 23:22

My MIL has always worked FT. I work ft. Neither of us like housework.and prefer to relax.

The article is such a sweeping generalisation.

MyDarlingClementine · 28/02/2013 23:23

would a mil have grounds for upset if she was more a pic no 2 and her dil was pic no 1?

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MyDarlingClementine · 28/02/2013 23:25

Yes but lots of times on mil/dil discussions it has come up that maybe its a generation thing re cooking/cleaning - alot of them were/are shams and took alot of pride in themselves - appearance - etc, and modern shams perhaps are more like pic 1?

I can see how it could grate?

OP posts:
TalkativeJim · 28/02/2013 23:51

LOL at Shams!

I am indeed a Modern Sham Grin

aldiwhore · 28/02/2013 23:58

My Gran was a fiesty strong willed bloody legend of a woman, she COULDN'T work when she got married (hence she waited until she was 36 before agreeing to marry my Grandad, so she could work) but by heck she threw herself into domesticity.

Her day to day life was in my modern opinion filled with pointless chore... she SCRUBBED the doorstep and path every morning, same with the kitchen floor, changed bedclothes 2-3 times a week and remained very trim. I think she was actually bored shitless, and was pretty unfulfilled, and very fit.

I am trying to attain some kind of balance between the two, firstly because the house doesn't clean itself unfortunately and I like a relatively clean house, it's good exercise, but I don't have time or desire to scrub the sodding doorstep each day, and I think DH would be a little horrified if I suddenly developed that interest, he's probably better than me at domesticity.

I was a SHAM for 8 years (quite literally in many ways) and yes, I got fat, and was probably lazier than I ought to have been because I find housework just incredibly unfulfilling, so I spent time with my children colouring in and doing lego (perfectly valid, just rather sedantary) I did used to take the children on long walks, and to the play park, but got TOLD OFF for joining in (aparantly the swings and slides aren't for grown ups - who knew?).

On the other hand, my MIL was massive and her house was spotless, so any link is probably bollocks.

KD0706 · 01/03/2013 00:41

I actually wish I could get more excited about housework.

I was a lawyer pre kids and I thought I'd treat the housework the same way I did work. Ie throw myself into it, see it as a project, be self motivated. But I can always convince myself that painting or baking or whatever is more important.

I wish I could say 'right I'm going to spend two hours each afternoon in the house'. But like I say I always make excuses and have fun with the kids instead. (or MN instead!!)

MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 01/03/2013 00:45

That top pic IS me... I always knew I could make it as a model.....

CressidaFitass · 01/03/2013 00:48

Well they could do the same for men now and in the 50s.

Smartly dressed 50s man walks home from the bus stop afer a long tiring day.

Slobby nowadays man wanks in front of porn sits on xbox game with mates all evening.

MyDarlingClementine · 01/03/2013 09:53

"Well they could do the same for men now and in the 50s."

Very true - I was going to say is it the presentation as well....I mean my MIL takes great care and pride in her appearance, I have to admit I did too until I piled on the pounds...

But yes - same could be said for men, smart with hat etc...they too have become more slobbish.Grin

OP posts:
yuleheart · 01/03/2013 09:59

I didn't read the article as the top pic made me feel sick!

Do some women really think its OK to look like that?

MyDarlingClementine · 01/03/2013 10:01

caught at the wrong angle yule, that could be me minus the fag thesedays

I have to say - I have sort of seen my mil in a new light after seeing those pics, if that is how she views me.

OP posts:
LadyPessaryPam · 01/03/2013 10:07

I loved this comment on the article in the DM

Also, most women in the fifties didn't have all these labour-saving devices. Ladies! Scrap your hoover, iron and washing machine! It'll mean you'll spend a full 8 hours a day very day on hard labour, so you can be fit and sexy for your man (who's probably overweight himself because he now works in an office rather than a field - but hey, who cares? Men don't have to be sexy, that's a woman's job!) [/sarcasm]

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 01/03/2013 10:10

One problem... 50 years ago my MIL was 7 Grin

Iggly · 01/03/2013 10:11

What about the fat men?

We do not do enough physical exercise, I agree. But the whole line about women shoul incorporate movement into their days as opposed to we should all, men and women, be doing this, had me Hmm

I hate that I sit on my arse most of the day when I'm at work. When I'm at home with the kids though, I am on my feet most of the day and it feels great!

MyDarlingClementine · 01/03/2013 10:11

Well my mil was berating me for an easy time because we can have disposables and she demonstrated the "pounding" movements of cleaning clothing/nappies by hand.

I know its sexist but alot of our mils grew up to be this kind of housewife and to be presentable for thier DH, I know its not right too.

I just thought, if your mil is pic two which mine sort of it - and you are pic 1 which i sort of am......then perhaps its easier to see why some of them go balasticw ith thier dils.

OP posts:
MyDarlingClementine · 01/03/2013 10:12

I havant actually read the article I can imagine what it says - its the pics. Smile

OP posts:
BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 01/03/2013 10:14

Hang on, no she wasnt! She wasnt born! She was -3!!

newshoots · 01/03/2013 10:15

I am glad to have found my mn acronym: SHAM !

Further to toddler in box, my DH apparently spent his babyhood in a pram in the garage!

Expectations are so different now. My Mum always says I have given PLENTY of (i.e. too much!) attention to my children. I know my mil thinks I am very lazy because I don't have a pristine house and I have encouraged my husband to be a hands-on Dad. I have come to terms with that. Wink

I have just remembered MIL buys me clothes at Christmas that are two sizes too big...She clearly SEES me as heavy!

coralanne · 01/03/2013 10:20

I read somewhere once that if you don't particularly like housework. this is what you do if you can't afford a cleaner.

Walk out your front door and close it. Walk in your back door and pretend you are in someone elses home and getting paid to clean it.

The quicker you clean it, the more you get paid.

Lancelottie · 01/03/2013 10:34

Yes, but do you get paid to find a home for all the crap Coralanne?

You know, the unrecognisable but probably essential bits of paper, plastic and wiring or is that just our house?

newshoots · 01/03/2013 10:35

Thanks for that tip coralanne, could you come back each day with a fresh motivational idea!Grin

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