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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not see the need to text/talk to DP during the day?

94 replies

alisunshine29 · 27/02/2013 12:22

DP likes us to text all day when he's at work - usually at least ten texts. Recently I've had problems sending texts so he's been calling 2/3 times a day instead. He isn't checking up on me or anything, I just feel it's unnecessary to text all day and that we can just talk about our day after work. AIBU?

OP posts:
BambieO · 27/02/2013 13:38

Hear hear saycool Grin

Wewereherefirst · 27/02/2013 13:40

DH will text asking how the DC's are, how the buzzword bingo went during 'lectures' and titbits about jobs he's on and if he's going to be late home (normally about 10mins after I've realised he's going to be late anyway)

I don't mind it, I don't always reply and sometimes we go days without messaging, his job is one where he can be doing his own thing one minute, then off on a job the next so he can text if he's got nothing else to do.

I don't mind it tbh,@

lottiegarbanzo · 27/02/2013 13:42

BambieO, people don't get 10 lunch breaks a day. If I was employing some people here, or their DPs, I'd be having a word about their commitment and effectiveness (though I suspect some are underemployed, in very boring jobs or probably badly managed).

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 13:46

Ooh lottie Shock

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 13:53

My texts /calls when he downtime like waiting for the wagon to be unloaded etc he gets sometimes 20mins waiting around for a load to go on his wagon thats when he texts. He is on a very tight scheadual somebody higher up think the drive time is the same at 4am on m6 near manchester as friday 5 pm. He is not badly managed.

When I have worked in a office my phone is on silent and I only text when on lunch break. Etc.

Where I work at the minute no phones are allowed on the work floor due to secruity.

Original poster
alisunshine29 · 27/02/2013 13:56

His job involves local travel where his workmate drives so he texts then - he isn't neglecting his duties.

OP posts:
badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 13:57

stars does your H work in the wild west?

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 14:01

Same here allishine my dp is hgv driver so wont call/ text in on road but does when hes gets to deport etc. If I working on night shift starting at 22:00 but my dp may have gone in at 19:00 I will text up to 21:58. Then on my lunch break at 01:30. Then when I finish at 06:30am I work bloody hard too.

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 14:03

No badtaste he works as angency driver but only works for Royal mail. mmm thinking about it you seen the films with horses that wont stop beacause they are pull the mail or money wagons

Ragwort · 27/02/2013 14:07

Agree with lottie - people must be seriously under employed if they have time to send numerous texts during the day Hmm.

I can remember years ago when I managed an office and actually told a couple of girls off for mindless chatter Blush - I asked them if they had enough work to do Grin.

Disclaimer - I am doing some work for my DH today (self-employed) and wasting time on mumsnet ! At least he is bringing me cups of coffee Grin.

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 14:09

Aw I had a romantic vision of a (young) Clint Eastwood type in my head then....

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 14:16

Haha badtasteflump thats for the weekend and another thread Grin

ilovepowerhoop · 27/02/2013 14:19

dh normally phones or texts around lunchtime but only to find out if I need anything from the supermarket as he goes there to get stuff for his lunch.

twentythirteen · 27/02/2013 14:21

A text a bit, usually a but in the morning as I leave before he gets up, a bit at lunch time, and then when I get home which is hours before he does. If one of us is busy we don't, otherwise it's nice to keep the connection. We have been
Together 5 years!

Wewereherefirst · 27/02/2013 14:24

My husbands job is such where, when all station duties are complete they can do personal study/ PT or whatever they fancy- normally darts or snooker, and the employer is fine with it. Grin

Ragwort · 27/02/2013 14:24

But even if you are not specifically doing tasks when you are texting your mind isn't focussed on your work if you are sending texts, I would hate to be the OP's colleague if he is driving and the other passenger(s) are just sending texts home etc.

I am sitting here on mumsnet and definately not focussing on my work Grin.

ChestyLeRoux · 27/02/2013 14:27

Me and dh do message each other throughout the day on whatsapp.We have always done it, and I dont think its controlling.My friends do the same to me throughout the day too.

peeriebear · 27/02/2013 14:34

Stars my DH is an agency HGV driver too, talking of wagons :)
He will call sometimes on his tacho break or on his hands free. Some days we'll text back and forth, some days we won't text at all. Sometimes it's a conversation about relevant stuff/DCs/bills, sometimes it's bullshit like 'stop trumping in your wagon' :)

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 14:41

[Grin] peeriebear my trys to unload/ load while on tacho break to get ahead of time.

He has a handsfree but I dont like talking to him when hes driving if hes in traffic though saying that the m6 is a carpark most times.

I have even put shout outs on radio 2 with Janice Long if hes gone to scotland so he gets a mention hehe as he listens to radio 2 so doesnt have to keep changing the stations.

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 14:46

Maybe this is an age thing...

When DH and I got together neither of us even had a mobile phone - they were still the size of a brick & a thing of dreams Grin. When we'd just met and he wanted to ask me out he had to ring me on a landline (with a cable attached) and ask my mumif he could speak to me Grin

When we eventually both got one we never really got into texting much - only really ever for messages such as 'can u get me 3 courgettes on the way home pls'.. which he would generally pick up 3 days later.

So maybe it's the 'youngsters' who text each other constantly for no reason...

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 14:48

Janice Long? Is she still on the radio? I always remember her as being the one who used to breath in really loudly between each sentence.

starsandunicorns · 27/02/2013 14:57

Yes badtasteflump she does midnight show on weekdays. Dp only gets a shout out once in a while and if hes doing a long journey incase he misses it.

The first time I did it I wasn't living with him and after he called me up when he heard it. He was very excited and thought it was sweet that I did that.

hugoagogo · 27/02/2013 15:17

dh used to call me always at the worst possible time-think changing pooey nappy. It drove me nuts.

7-8 years ago I got a mobile,now we text. I love it I'm not very young, but I like that we can keep in touch and make jokes with each other without interrupting.

When I am at work I can't have my phone with me but, I do get breaks and can easily send a couple of texts in that time. I'm not skiving off to do it. Hmm

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 27/02/2013 15:24

Wow, I love how sending a couple of texts = bad lazy employee.

My DH works incredibly hard. If he's in the middle of something of course he won't be texting or calling, he'll be focused on his job. But if he's got a minute while, say, waiting for something to print or on hold to a supplier, I really don't see the issue with him sending a quick text. Funnily enough, he can multi task! And how long do you think people take to text??!

Some frothers over reactors here...

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 27/02/2013 15:26

10 texts a day seems a lot, so does 2/3 calls. We talk/text if need be. If he's on his way to an external meeting he'll call for a chat on his way. I'm a SAHM & it's nice, & good if the kids are there/awake to hear daddy a bit more. But we can go days without a text & I'd hate it ti be expected.

YANBU