I love him dearly, but dear god!
Small sample from last 24 hours
I was helping DD2 wash her hair in the bath last night, she usually puts a flannel over her eyes as she's a bit funny about water going in her face and I realised there were no flannels in the bathroom
Me (to DH who is wafting around on the landing): can you just chuck me a flannel please?
DH: where are they?
Me: in the airing cupboard
DH: where in the airing cupboard?
It's a small cupboard, just look!
This morning:
Me walking into the small downstairs loo
DH: where are you going?
Also this morning - DH works from home in an office in the garden. He came in for a tea/loo break just as I was emptying the washing machine
Me: can you just put this in the tumble drier please? (which he'd have to walk right past to get to the loo)
DH: where is it?
In the utility room, next to the toilet where it has been kept for the past 10 years!!!!!
DH: have you seen my car keys
Me: on the hook in the kitchen
DH: what hook?
The same sodding hook that he put up and has been hanging them on every single day for years
I am being lighthearted, he's not a complete dimwit and pulls his weight with the house and kids, but honestly, I sometimes wonder whether he actually lives here
AIBU?
to wonder if anyone else is driven slightly potty by a constant stream of silly questions from their DH?
freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:20
I'm another who's very glad to know that there are other men Out There who do these things. DH does all of them (man-looking/endless questions etc etc) but for some reason, the thing that irks me most is his use of the word 'must'.
Thus:
Me: Could you put the shopping away please?
DH: Yes. (Picks up tomatoes). Where must I put these?
Me: In the bowl.
DH: This bowl?
Me: Yes, that one (the only one in sight)
DH:(Picks up cat food). Where must I put this?
Me: In the larder.
DH: (muffled) Which shelf must I put it on?
Me: The top one. Where it always goes.
DH:(picks up milk) And where must this g....
Me: (snatches milk.) Thank you, I can take it from here. Could you get ds2 into his pjs please?
DH: Yes. (pause while he goes upstairs) WHERE MUST I LOOK FOR HIS PYJAMAS?
Me: (fingers in ears lalalalalala I can't hear you)
I recently had cause to limit him to five pointless questions before breakfast. My defences are very low before then and I need my strength 
And of course, who can forget the last-minute pointless task-doing...
Family birthday at our house. I am cooking/cleaning/tidying/laying the table/nagging the boys to get dressed with tour guests due in half an hour. DH decides that this is the absolute best time to sort out his paperwork, requiring a search for the hole-punch, much trotting up and down stairs for files, papers being sorted into neat piles etc etc. This could clearly not have been done at any point in the six months previous (while he was, say, watching the golf/football/rugby on TV) and if challenged, he will affect an injured tone and say 'But you wanted me to help tidy up!'
I mean, honestly.
I pay a lovely lady to do our ironing, she picks it up on a Wednesday,
Today, the ironing lady comes, dp sent her away because he couldn't find the ironing! The fuck off big basket of clothes was in our bedroom instead of the spare room but dp couldn't find it 
Oh, shaky 
. DP is going to do that ironing or arrange for it to be dropped off, yes?
Did you read the spoonyfucker thread?
Shodan, your typos did make me !
DH is another one guilty for the taking himself off to the car while I find everything. Or rather, he was. I now have worked out a system whereby I block the front door with the bags that are ready to go out to the car. He is not allowed to touch anything that isn't by the door (yes, he also used to whip them away before they were ready but he soon learnt the error of that one).
What he will not do is help get anything ready. So if we were going on a 12h road trip, he would fill his water bottles and that's it. While I get the freezerbag out and load all the picnic food, plates, cups, necessary cutlery etc.
How it works is if he doesn't need it, then no one does. 
As you can imagine, this goes down like a lead balloon when you have 2 chidren under 6 in the car as well.
He also only ever packs his own bag for holidays - he wouldn't have a clue where to start for DC.
One of my cunning paybacks is that I will NOT put his clean clothes away, they get dumped on his bed. Then he never has to ask me where any of his clothes are, at least.
[[http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OcMEmVN7vjQ/UGQZb4Nv-qI/AAAAAAAAHz0/aBOw0rljBwk/s1600/said+no+husband+ever.jpg Heh...]
Packing up to go to the hotel for the night...and this is what I get...
DH: Are we spending the night?
ME: no, we are just renting the room for a few hours.... SERIOUSLY?
Man, I had to back track and read all of these! I didn't know so many men were sometimes a bit stupid... lololol
I also can't hear him half the time.. stop mumbling I say....
I do get sarcastic now... and my partner will say, "I'M just asking!" as his arms are waving in the air.
I respond...
why ask such a stupid question then??
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"Gosh, does no one else just look blank and say "I don't know, darling"? "
We had many conversations like this on Saturday mornings, when the kids had activities:
DH: When do we need to get up?
Me: Same time as usual
DH: But when does swimming start?
Me: Same time as last week
DH: When was that?
Me: Same time as the week before, and the week before that, and every week for the last 2 years
DH: Why won't you just tell me?
Me: Why don't you just know?
DH: Why are you so mean to me?
Haven't tried "Don't know" but I guess that would get the "mean" comment too - he knows I know!
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