to wonder if anyone else is driven slightly potty by a constant stream of silly questions from their DH?

[freddiefrog]

I love him dearly, but dear god!

Small sample from last 24 hours

I was helping DD2 wash her hair in the bath last night, she usually puts a flannel over her eyes as she's a bit funny about water going in her face and I realised there were no flannels in the bathroom

Me (to DH who is wafting around on the landing): can you just chuck me a flannel please?
DH: where are they?
Me: in the airing cupboard
DH: where in the airing cupboard?

It's a small cupboard, just look!

This morning:
Me walking into the small downstairs loo
DH: where are you going?

Also this morning - DH works from home in an office in the garden. He came in for a tea/loo break just as I was emptying the washing machine

Me: can you just put this in the tumble drier please? (which he'd have to walk right past to get to the loo)
DH: where is it?

In the utility room, next to the toilet where it has been kept for the past 10 years!!!!!

DH: have you seen my car keys
Me: on the hook in the kitchen
DH: what hook?

The same sodding hook that he put up and has been hanging them on every single day for years

I am being lighthearted, he's not a complete dimwit and pulls his weight with the house and kids, but honestly, I sometimes wonder whether he actually lives here

[anonymosity]

How about "I'd put my hat on if I knew where it was" - while standing next to hat which is on an otherwise totally empty table.

[TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub]

I like doody he'a as an autocorrect.

[Purple2012]

Mine always buys the most expensive thing in a supermarket - it's at eye level and he doesn't look around so I have to be very specific with the shopping list.

Once I wrote 'White seedless grapes' in the list. He came back saying
'I spent 20 minutes looking for White grapes and they didn't have any so I got green ones'

[TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub]

Ugh, I hate DH handing me stuff when my hands are full or I'm doing something. Leave it on the side, dear, thanks.

[SkivingAgain]

Mine has a different variety of irritating question. He asks things like "Are you my sweet/floss/other silly name?" or says "Isn't it?" at the end of everything he says, looking for confirmation that I agree with him. Aaaargh. He is very nice and I'm a miserable cow

[Deux]

My DH does this really irritating thing about packing the car before we go on holiday.

I don't know why it takes him so long and it's not as if we have tonnes of stuff. It happened recently at half term. All that was going into the boot was one suitcase and one small trolley case.

I wasn't even dressed myself and he was trying to pack everything into the car as I was trying to make sure that everything was in the cases. Ended up having to put the toothbrushes and toothpaste in a plastic bag as he'd whipped the cases away. As soon as my back was turned the suitcase was off.

Any other DHs do this?

[TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub]

I do do the starting conversations part way through thing, though.

[LittleBearPad]

Deux not exactly but my DH does start fretting about packing about a week before we go away. I'm not sure why he thnks it takes as long as he imagines but it's a constant refrain leading up to hols.

[curryeater]

Oh well I do the annoying thing where I talk to dp who is in a different room and expect him to hear me.
If there is an open packet, and there is also an unopened packet in the fridge, I always put the open one on top of the unopened one. It has to be on top of it, just near it won't do - he will definitely open the new one, I don't know why, statistically it should sometimes not happen, but it always does. , we nearly always m

[BalloonSlayer]

Dh often asks me about whether DC should be wearing gloves, or a thick coat rather than just fleece, or some other detail.

"I don't know, DH, perhaps you ought to ask one of his parents "

[zeno]

Fakebook I've also seen that thing about the man-blinkers when looking for things. Apparently it applies most strongly in drawers and cupboards.

I find I am far less cross with dh not being able to locate things now as I accept that's how it is and that it may not actually be a deliberate perversion on his part. God knows he puts up with plenty of foibles from me!

[WithASpider]

DH likes to wait until i've packed the car for holiday before trying to help.
Then about an hour into the journey he'll start asking if i've remembered things.

IF i have unlikely then we're not fucking going back for it now!!!!

[Deux]

I'm sure i read something about these male/female differences being evolutionary in nature.

Women scanned when foraging so had to notice the detail and men had to have better peripheral vision and long sight for hunting and being on the look out for predators.

Still doesn't make it any less frustrating.

DS can never find anything unless I say there is chocolate somewhere in the cupboard. He can rummage for that no problem.

[Artesia]

Oh thank heavens! I thought it was just my DP- the man-looking, the daft questions, handing me stuff when my hands are full/ I am busy. It drives me round the bend! But now I know most men are the same, I realise there is no point trading him in for another one unless it is Steve Backshall

Just to add another, he often adds " do you know what I mean?" on the end of sentences. Eg "so and so really annoyed me at work today, do you know what I mean?". Gaaaah- of course I know what you mean- I am not an utter imbecile.

Obviously I don't have ANY annoying habits that wind him up.....

[pluCaChange]

Do you know the song There's a Hole in My Bucket, Dear Liza? That is ALL about this!

On a lighter note, DS came into the kitchen the other day, shrieking, "Mummy! Abney and Teal are doing Man Looking!"

[freddiefrog]

Well, DH had a big panic earlier about not being able to find some paperwork he needed for a school governor meeting.

It was in a folder, in the junk paperwork cupboard where we always keep this stuff, but obviously I'm the only one who knows this

I laid on the couch and ignored him, slightly amused by the increasing tizzy, but man, that felt good!

[orangeandlemons]

Soaccidentprone, that is my dh, it drives me nuts. He will put his coat on and announce he is ready,leaving me fiddling round with coats, packed lunches, shoes, teddies, hats et all. Meanwhile he starts to tap his foot with impatience and texts totally unaware of the malestrom and my increasing fury.

I have taken to putting my coat on and standing by door saying nothing. I really enjoy the confusion on his face

[Pilgit]

DH is dreadful at this but him and his dad doing DIY together is the funniest thing to watch. Last time I had to leave the house as my laughing was winding them up. They both put things down and then can't find them. They spend about 40% of their DIY time looking for things they have put down. To watch it is like some sort of bizarre morcambe and wise sketch!

The classic from DH though was shortly after we moved into our first house. He'd been doing some DIY in the office (grand name for a glorified cupboard) and had left some tools on the floor in the back bedroom. Now, you had to walk through the second bedroom to get to the office. He'd left them in what was effectively the corridor that he walked through every day to get to his office. Two weeks later after NOT moving the tools he actually asked me where his saw and hammer was as he couldn't find them. To which my response was incredulity as he had to take a bigger step to get over them every day for two weeks!

PMSL at 'a uterus is not a location device'!

[HaveToWearHeels]

this has to be the funniest thread ever.
Just thought of another thing.

DH - when is Mothers Day ?
Me - the 10th March

a week later
DH - when is Mothers Day ?
Me - three weeks Sunday, the 10th March

this Saturday
DH - Shit I need to rush out and get a Mothers Day Card !
Me - Why ?
DH - because it's tomorrow !
Me - No you have another 2 weeks yet.
DH - I thought you said it was the 10th
Me - Yes it is the 10th
DH - wanders off looking confused.

Why ask and question and then not listen to the answer and not once in eight years have I let him forget Mothers Day !

[HaveToWearHeels]

Oh and

We work together so go together in the same car and drop DD off on the way.
He leaves house with his laptop bag. I follow with my laptop bag, my handbag, DD's school bag, DD lunch bag and DD........

[NotGoodNotBad]

I challenged my DH on this stuff this evening.

Me: Why do I always have to remember things? (like who's doing what when, when half-term is etc.)
DH: No point in both of us remembering! I would remember if I didn't have you to remember for me!

Thing is he has a much better memory than me for non-family stuff.

[orangeandlemons]

Havetowearheels,I instructed my dh to pick stuff up, otherwise it stays on the side. It also drives me mad that when we are out en famille I have bags, teddies coats, whining dd, and he is wandering ahead hands free. I have started hollering after him to carry stuff and to stop walking away. I call it passive childminding, he just seems to screen it all out.

[AlwaysWashing]

Lordy I've got one that "man looks" too.
Tbf I thought I was alone so this is reassuring/disturbing in equal measure!
Today:
Me "Can you fetch me a clean vest for * please hun".
DH. "Where are they?".
Me "In the wardrobe???" (Thinking to myself that they're in the same place they always are.)
DH " What hanging up?"
Me " Nooooo, on the shelf in the basket" (Thiinking why the f**k would I hang up vests?? Also that they have always been kept in the basket on the shelf".

So many situation that go "Will you bring xyz down with you when you come please." Resulting in "It's not there." Me going back up stairs and it's in plain sight. Aaaaargh!

I love him dearly with all my heart but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!

[Nandocushion]

I no longer find things for my DH. He will say: "Where is my codpiece?" and I tell him it's in the closet. He then opens the closet door and looks at whatever is exactly at eye level and says "It's not there". So my rule is that I will go and look in the closet for his codpiece, and if I see it in there, I close the closet door and he has to go back in and find it himself. I do this with the kids too.

[freddiefrog]

Oh, god. DH is now home from earlier meeting and we are watching Child of Our Time (when did those kids get to be nearly 13 ) and we have a constant stream of

"who is that?"
"what's wrong with them?"
"how old is that one?"
"is she the one born really premature?"

Ad infinitum

For the love of god, I don't know, I've seen as much of it as you have. Shut the fuck up and watch it and you might find out!!!!!

Every single TV programme or film we watch together he does it