To think lateness is the rudest thing?

[slatternlymother]

It says 'my time is more valuable than yours'.

I just don't understand this attitude where it is ok to be late. It's so flakey! And yet it seems that so many people think it's alright.

I feel like there's this perception that it's a little bit cool, and if you pick someone up for it, then you need to 'relax'.

Well, it's bloody not alright. It is RUDE.

Grr.

Sorry laqueen that was unneccessarily arsey.

Just one of the things my late friend puts up with from me

No need for you to

YABU! Eating McDonald's on public transport is the rudest thing

I am a reformed UP - punctual most of the time now, even early sometimes! Having a smartphone has helped - was always trying to cram in as much activity as possible and now I know that if I get somewhere early and have spare time I can use it productively, and can get things done on the way to where I'm going as well. Don't really understand the moaning about waiting on a street corner though - who does that? I would always arrange to meet somewhere warm and indoors like a bookshop, or a shopping centre and then you use phones to find each other.

LimitedPeriodOnly - it might not be that when being late you think "I'll do X first before going to meet Y because I don't really care about leaving Y waiting" - but you don't think "Should I do X first before meeting Y, do I really have time to do that and still be on time to meet Y because it's more important to meet Y than it is to do X." you are still priortising doing X over meeting Y on time. If you can do both, great, but you are (if not conciously) not really caring that both can't be done in the time allocated so are deciding that meeting Y on time is less important than completing X first. Therefore to Y, it will always look like you thought that they are unimportant compared to your desire to do X first.

And Y person (in this care LaQueen) is right, you don't really think it matters if you are on time for Y, that you might keep them waiting isn't important to you. Because if it was important to you that you were at a set place at a set time, you'd aim to be there before the time you'd agreed to meet them 'just in case'.

You can tell people until you are blue in the face that you care about them, but your actions say that you think getting your other jobs done are far more important.

Sorry I am late to this thread just bumping to get rid of the football troll

One of the things which works well with DM is giving her more precise times eg rather than saying 'we will see you around 2pm' I say 'we will see you between 2 and 2.30'. This has helped to remove the imprecision.

Now I just have to persuade DH to use this technique for DPiL for whom the words 'about 2pm' mean 'any time after 2pm and before bedtime'.

I dont think that using precise times will make DPiL more punctual but it will mean that I can get on with my life and not bother sitting around waiting for them to turn up.

Football troll?

Punctuality is important.

And lateness is rude.

But it's not the rudest thing.

If your friend is always running 45 minutes late then stay at home and have a coffee and get to where you are meeting 45 minutes later than planned.

Life's too short.

Once again I totally agree with laqueen.

Dh is late for everything he gets it from pil who are also rudely late due to procrastination.
I'm not perfect and am often cutting it fine but it does my flaming head in.
I just leave now and go.
Last stay ice skating was discussed and thought about for so long that I left with dd and had a good skate!
I half expected them to still be stood in the porch when we got back 3 hrs later.
We are going away for a weekend in may and I fuly expect to have done loads with the kids before they even think of leaving the house.
I'm not wasting my time waiting for them to have yet another drink before I get out.

OP I agree with you 100%. I have a 20 minute rule now - if they're not there within that time (or have not contacted to say on the way) I am off (unless of course I'm already at home....

Echo but why should I do that? That simply reinforces the idea that it's ok for the UP to be late.

Despite reading this thread and sort of understanding the mind set of UP I still don't really understand how a grown adult is seemingly unable to tell the time, work out how long to get somewhere and then leave at the right time.

Everyone is late sometimes including me. But how can some people be late ALL THE TIME?

And last time i met my UP and she was late yet again and I told her I was annoyed at her constant lateness, she had the nerve to point out that she hadn't said anything the ONE time I was late in meeting her about a year ago!

I think with my UP friend at least there are psychological problems causing her lateness of which she herself is unaware.

She is completely scatty, messy and disorganised in her life in general and I'm beginning to think her head must be in a complete mess for her life to be the mess it is. And perhaps her continual lateness is the least of her problems.

I agree with dimsum.

How can these grown adults find it so difficult to be on time?

My ex friend who was always late was also highly disorganised in her life. She 'forgot' to do a primary school application for her youngest child as apparently 'nobody told her' there was a cut off date for applications. Her kids are always late for school. She 'forgets' things like birthday parties her kids are invited to, and 'forgets' to send things into school such ad dinner money and permission slips. It's all always someone else's fault though, never hers!

dinsum

Then have a word about lateness or chuck your friend.

What's a UP?

Cripes,

YOLO

Get a life.

Oh sorry,you've got one.

If your pal is that much of a drag and late all the time......

Don't arrange to meet her.

You don't have to fall out,just don't arrange to meet her.

Your time is expensive.