To think lateness is the rudest thing?

[slatternlymother]

It says 'my time is more valuable than yours'.

I just don't understand this attitude where it is ok to be late. It's so flakey! And yet it seems that so many people think it's alright.

I feel like there's this perception that it's a little bit cool, and if you pick someone up for it, then you need to 'relax'.

Well, it's bloody not alright. It is RUDE.

Grr.

[Yfronts]

My IL's leave late to all functions and drive like nutters, arriving at their destination having had a few close misses and v stressed. Of course I'd rather they were late and arrived safely but actually it would be much better for them to leave early and have a relaxing drive down.

My brother is always late and we always tell him we are meeting half an hour early and he will usually arrive only 10 mins after us.

[Yfronts]

The worst is waiting in for IL's who are 'popping in' on route to Scotland. In the past we have waited in all day only for them to pop in about 5pm. These days I just give them my mobile number and ask them to buzz me half an hour before they arrive so I can be home.

[GreenLeafTea]

Actually that's what we did last time sil came, just took the kids to the park and she called us when she arrived.

LaQueen, take some sandwiches next time and just tuck in while everyone is standing around like lemons waiting for him to show.

[CrapBag]

I don't understand people like your FIL LaQueen, they clearly thinks the whole world should wait for them. Good on you for just leaving at the BBQ. Arrogant tosser! I certainly wouldn't pander to twats like that. Your MIL should bloody tell him to get out there, not tiptoe in suggesting he may like to join them soon!

[BuxtonBlueCat]

LaQueen - your FIL is EXACTLY how my grandad used to be!! What makes people so fucking rude awkward?

[PukeCatcher]

Ooh ooh, they were talking about this on Loose Women today, I don't watch it, it was just on honest...

[maisiejoe123]

Its attention seeking. I would have started and FIL could have joined when he was ready....

Shame there was no food left. Hey ho!

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Ah, shame I missed it today Puke - friend's birthday lunch instead

[webweaverToo]

In the dim and distant past (aka my selfish youth) I was a chronic UP. Awful. Completely awful. Turned up late to everything, rushed in late to lectures at Uni every single day, made my friends wait for me all over the place - you know the story.

One day I kept my best friend waiting for me in town for a full hour and a half before finally strolling in, expecting to be forgiven as usual (in fact I don't think I even saw it as an offence that one needed to be forgiven for!).

Only this time she didn't forgive - she absolutely laid into me instead. She told me how incredibly selfish and self-centered I was being, and asked me why I thought my time was more valuable than hers. How dare I waste an hour and a half of her time while I faffed around doing whatever it was I was doing, when she could have been doing something useful instead of standing outside in the cold waiting for me.

It was something of a revelation (I told you I was selfish and thoughtless in those days) - and it did the trick. Now I'm almost always early or on-time, very rarely late (and extremely stressed out by the thought of being late) and it really pisses me off when people are late and make me wait.

I think it's rude, selfish and thoughtless to be late on a regular basis, and I agree with many posters who've said that what it says to the person waiting for you is that "my time is more important than your time". Certainly, as a reformed UP myself, I know that this was true for me.

[Thumbwitch]

LaQ - I'm actually surprised you lasted 2h. I'd have been into the food after 1, and if I got told not to, been gone at that point. But I appreciate that you've had to put up with FIL's shit for some time. Your MIL is insane to collude with him in his unreasonableness - if he wants to be late for dinner/food/party, his problem - but DO NOT make every other guest fucking suffer for it! His manners might be bad, but hers are atrocious!

[QuickLookBusy]

lisi I would refuse to let myself and dc be in a car when you know the driver will drive too fast. A speeding ticket may be the least of your problems.

We have recently lost someone very close to us due to a speeding driver. She was 17 years old, such a waste of a life. All for the sake of trying to get somewhere a little bit quicker. It honestly is not worth it

Can't you insist on driving if you know he will speed?

[Thumbwitch]

LaQ - I like your style!
Your MIL must have had a REALLY low bar set for her as to what constituted a good DH then, if those are her criteria.

Quicklookbusy - sorry to hear about your loss - tragically avoidable. :(

[rainbow2000]

My friend is like this if you agree to meet at 7 she only leaves her house at 7.
I told her the last time i wouldnt wait for her and funny enough i havent heard from her since.
Her loss really.But people who are constantly late really irk me.They have absolutley no respect for the people left waititng

[MrsSonky]

My DFIL kept everyone waiting for an hour for the wedding breakfast (my wedding). He'd buggered off after the ceremony, drinks and nibbles to watch the cricket. DH was furious. MIL laughed it off...

[Thumbwitch]

:(

[Titchyboomboom]

Sil always up to an hour late so we now tell her a different time!! Ha ha .. The fact that it is EVERY time makes me grrrrrrrr

[DontmindifIdo]

MrsSonky - Why didn't you just go ahead without him? It's not like the father of the groom has to say anything or have any ceremonial role. See, sometimes the big problem with UP is other people fit round them rather than make them miss out.