To think lateness is the rudest thing?

[slatternlymother]

It says 'my time is more valuable than yours'.

I just don't understand this attitude where it is ok to be late. It's so flakey! And yet it seems that so many people think it's alright.

I feel like there's this perception that it's a little bit cool, and if you pick someone up for it, then you need to 'relax'.

Well, it's bloody not alright. It is RUDE.

Grr.

Ooooh look, we made discussions of the day!

Yes, agree with fl0b0t when you say that lateness with no communication is the worst. I don't think there's any excuse for it nowadays!

What's worse though, is someone who is late, but doesn't acknowledge it. Like they meant it, and they're just being 'fashionably late'. Which, by the way, is a phrase I hate. There is nothing fashionable about being rude.

They're in the same bracket of person who knows you, but fails to say hello when you pass in the street, and pretends not to notice. I hate that. You know the type I mean, those kind who are 'just like, soooo busy babes I totes didn't even see you!'

Piss off.

DH and I have noticed that we both are really relaxed about time-keeping when it's the other person's friends/family we're going to see, but obsessive about arriving on time when it's our own!

For example, if we're running late to see his family I'm all relaxed and like "chill out, we said 1ish let's just enjoy ourselves" while he's pushing me out the door and desperate to get there. But if we're going to see my family I yell at him for being slow and sit in the car, beeping at him to hurry up.

Very interesting. I'm from Finland where it is extremely rude to be late.
Kept waiting more than 10/15 minutes and people just cancel or leave.
It's often considered mystifying to be waiting with no information.
People often text in advance of being late (if train delayed etc) just to avoid any inconvenience ie Meeting at 1400, train journey takes 25 minutes, you will get a text already at 1340 warning that they will be 5 minutes late.

Lateness must be part cultural, because it can be done here in 2 feet of snow and minus 20. All due to planning ahead.

I.e we get up 45 minutes earlier in winter to allow for

dressing extra layers of clothing/boots/snow protectors - 15 minutes
snow clearing - 15 minutes
car heating - 5 minutes
car scraping - 10 minutes

We are a bog standard "lapsiperhe" young family and like most we plan no other activities on workday, no "dropping by", no "popping in". Home, Nursery, Work, Nursery, Home.
Shopping and socialising all extra and separately scheduled. Everything else done by internet

Bit dull but very punctual and effective. (Finland in a nutshell)

Agree with OP when it's repeat offenders.

donstvetmuch - interesting - what does "lapsiperhe" mean?
Do you live in the UK now?
Do you think Finnish punctuality is part of a general greater courtesy than you get in the UK?

My timekeeping is good holidayarmadillo. I don't know where you get the impression that it's not.

I explained what I look for in staff for the particular demands of my industry. Being on time, though admirable, is not my top priority. If people think it is and lack the more important skills then we won't get on.

And whatever you like to think lots of people can't do their jobs very well. There are threads about that on here every day.

I hate people being late, with a passion! To the point where I've actually cancelled because I can't stand to hang around waiting any longer. A minute or two is fine, if I'm left standing for longer than that without communication, you've had it!

Two weeks ago I had a meeting and got a text from the person's PA saying: 'Limited, you have a meeting with John in 7 minutes. I hope you're on your way.'

I texted: 'I am 15 seconds from your door. But I'll be longer now because I answered your text.'

What a rude and frankly insane cow. As I pointed out to John.

It did occur to me that John might be the sort of insane tyrant who has no truck with late people and his PA was only following orders.

Except that if that had been me I'd have said: 'Yeah, yeah John I texted her' but wouldn't have done it because it would make me look mad.

Anyway, whichever one's the crazed control freak, we have an agreement that I won't be receiving texts like that again.

I am rarely late and I do think it's rude to be late. It's certainly rude to always be late. I find lots of people don't think through how long things really take - yes the journey to X is 50 minutes on the motorway but do you know where you're parking when you get there? How near to the venue is it? Pay and Display might need coins, have you got any in case? Those sorts of things. I'm pretty good at estimating how long something will take me in reality.

I find lateness really annoying. In retrospect, I wish I'd walked away from various tube stations, restaurants etc in the past when people were late for entirely avoidable reasons. Instead I stayed like a mug and seethed.

I no longer accept such lateness, though I do think different rules apply where someone is coming to my house, where 10 mins extra tidying time is always helpful. There's also a huge difference between being late for genuinely good reason and being habitually flaky.

I agree it is SO rude my sister drives me mad ALWAYS late. But not as rude as people who talk over others that really makes me want to slap them.

In a business situation I invite latecomers to explain why they were late just in case they miss the point that I don't care about the reason.

It rarely happens twice and could be avoided by a simple phone call (not a text or an email)

It is so rude i try to make a point of not being late or early thats as bad

I already liked Finland after numerous visits to Helsinki (the cleanest city I have ever visited). I hadnt realised it was also so punctual but then again I was living in NL at the time (another punctual and clean place).

I agree. And DH is habitually late. It's a MASSIVE source of aggrevation when we are both meant to be leaving the house to go somewhere.

^ this. And my DH'sparentsare as bad. We once travelled overnight to another CONTINENET to visit them, arrived at their house with two exhausted kids, and then sat in the car for half an hour waiting for them to get back from 'a short pop to the shops'. MIL is retired, she does f-all, she couldn't have done it earlier? Later? The day before. I was fuming.

Mind you, were talking bout the people that were 1/2 hour late to his graduation ceremony. We had tickets, so had to wait for them outside. DH made his part by literally a minute.

YASOOOOOONBU.

Sorry, poor spelling...have flu.

DW is a stickler for time-keeping but has had so many friends, over the years, who are habitually late-to-date comers, that even she never arrives more than five minutes early and is even known to be five minutes late sometimes. It irks her to purposefully be delay herself but she has wasted tens of hours hanging around waiting for people.

I think it's all about sending a subliminal message that you (the latecomer) are in control and holding the power!

I have family members that are always late for things and then only stay for as long as they feel is polite. They always leave hours earlier than every other normal person would stay at a party. They think we don't notice that they are only showing face.

They wax lyrical about how much they love us and how much we mean to them, but their actions speak louder than their words.

The leaving too early is ruder than the being late IMO.

DS1 didn't go to Beavers tonight because he hadn't got himself organised and DH decided that leaving home at 6 when Beavers starts at 6 is not acceptable.

We both felt bad that he'd missed it but we hope that he learns his lesson and gets himself together when it is suggested he does rather than when it's too late!

Understand what you mean, MooMoo, but it isn't always a cop-out.

I had a Drs appt the other week at and gave myself an hour and a half to do a 30min journey. I was still waiting for a bus hour and a half later in which time 6 buses were supposed to have come and gone.

Mostly public transport is manageable but sometimes it's just shit.

Sorry, not read all the posts so might have missed if the discussion has moved on, but I hate lateness!

I have a friend who is habitually between half an hour and an hour late to everything, on the one and only occasion I was 10 minutes late to meet her (in my defence DS2 was less than 3 months old and I also had a toddler), she phoned to ask where I was and why I was late. Grrr! I can also add since she has had DC2, she now explains that it's impossible to get anywhere on time with 2 DC, despite the fact her DC1 is already at school...