Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit upset that my friend has not invited me to her wedding?

276 replies

stormforce10 · 24/02/2013 22:52

We've known each other since we were 11 and stayed good friends. I met her fiancee on a train which got delayed, we talked for hours, stayed in touch and a few years ago I introduced them and 10 months ago they got engaged.

This evening I spoke to her and she told me that she's decided not to invite me to their wedding in April as she only wants a small one. Fair enough but given she's invited all her work colleagues and quite a lot of our other friends and their families AIBU to feel somewhat upset and wonder if there is another reason she's decided to leave me out

OP posts:
catsmother · 26/02/2013 10:10

Blimey - how awful for you that she thinks so little of you.

But if she believed this to be true then what the heck is she doing going ahead with the wedding anyway IYSWIM ?

As for the person who told her this - what a bitch/bastard. Quite obviously an out and out shit-stirring lie as opposed to any sort of "misunderstanding".

Original poster
stormforce10 · 26/02/2013 10:11

I've just been sick. I never believed people could be sick with shock but I jsut have been. She's texted me asking me to call her when I've calmed down. Right now I'm never calling her again

OP posts:
Whitewineformeplease · 26/02/2013 10:12

Oh my, have been lurking on this thread since reading it all in one go. I was Hmm for you then, now I'm Angry for you! So she thinks you slept with her DF, and was perfectly happy to just write you out of her life and pretend nothing happened? And this is information she just accepted from someone else? What an idiot. You don't need her.

Greensleeves · 26/02/2013 10:14

Shock so sorry stormforce, what a terrible shock for you! Not surprised you have been sick. Can you take it easy today?

Do you have any inclination to thrash this out and try to save the friendship? Or would a clean break be better?

I must admit it's not very constructive but I would want to know who told her that story!

FruOla · 26/02/2013 10:15

Shock OMG that's just awful. She doesn't trust him, she doesn't trust you, she thinks you'd do the dirty on your DP - and her. And she's believed a load of twaddle from a nasty shit stirrer.

Poor, poor you Sad

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 26/02/2013 10:17

I hope that other person who 'told' her (ie fabricated whole thing) has kept their mouth shut since.

pigletmania · 26/02/2013 10:19

She was happy to throw the friendship away due to a gossiping Gloria, says how much she thinks of you

TerraNotSoFirma · 26/02/2013 10:22

I'm so sorry, that is just awful.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsase · 26/02/2013 10:25

Holy shit. That is just bloody awful, storm, I don't blame you for feeling as shaky as you do.

ilovecolinfirth · 26/02/2013 10:30

YANBU...ditch her!
X

CatelynStark · 26/02/2013 10:31

That's awful! But how did she carry on seeing you if she thought that was the case? Without saying anything? Bonkers!

I'd be wanting to know who it was who spread the lie and having a little word in their shell-like!

BuiltForComfort · 26/02/2013 10:31

She thought her fiancé had slept with you and her response is not to invite you to their wedding?? What was her response to her fiancé then?? Bizarre.

ilovecolinfirth · 26/02/2013 10:33

Missed a whole load of the thread...sorry! Hope you're ok. Sounds to me like she's got trust issues with fiancé. Marriage won't last! At least you'll save money by not getting them a gift. Big hug!

HormonalHousewife · 26/02/2013 10:33

Hope you are feeling OK. Take some time out and have a cuppa.

You have had a terrible shock.

If it were me I would make sure the world and his wife now knows the reason you have not been invited to this wedding (and I wouldnt go now out of principle)

She has behaved outrageously to you. You dont need her in your life. Ditch her.

nipersvest · 26/02/2013 10:34

good grief storm, with friends like that, who needs enemies!

it depends now on whether you feel this friendship is worth working on, but i'd pity her. she's been led to believe you & her fiance slept together, chose to believe gossip and cut you out but still go ahead and marry him. flip side of this is the gossip could be routed in truth, as in he's not been sleeping with you, but could be with someone else?

would love to know if she's inviting the person who told her all this!

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 26/02/2013 10:35

What a wanker she is! I don't blame you for not wanting to speak to her ever again.

CelticPixie · 26/02/2013 10:37

Wow! I can understand if you never want to speak to this woman again OP, but I'm afraid I'd have to try and find out who told her this lie so I could really tear a strip off them.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 26/02/2013 10:39

So she was ok after you had supposedly slept together to marry him but not have you at the wedding?
Head case. Remove her from your life .

Original poster
stormforce10 · 26/02/2013 10:40

i know exactly who it was and believe me when I've calmed down enough words will be said

going to leave this now and try to sort out other things. My house is a mess it needs sorting out. A lot of rubbish i need to get rid of

OP posts:
NotYouNaanBread · 26/02/2013 10:41

Were you and her fiance ever involved? Even a quick snog? You don't just say "I introduced her to her fiance", you say "we met on a delayed train and talked for hours, we stayed in touch, oh, by the way, later on I introduced them" which says to me that either there was more to it or it's always niggled at her that there might have been more to it.

She's being completely weird and rude about it and YANBU at all.

saintlyjimjams · 26/02/2013 10:44

She sounds a total headcase

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 26/02/2013 10:44

NotYouNaanBread have you read pages 6 and 7?

Bogeyface · 26/02/2013 10:54

She didnt say a word to either of you about it but was still happy to marry him and ditch you?! Thats insane.

rainbow2000 · 26/02/2013 10:56

God love you at least you now know what she thinks of you.Id let her stew and only talk if and when you are ready

Manchesterhistorygirl · 26/02/2013 11:02

Storm that's awful. A good clearing out session will help you clear your mind and clarify things. Hugs.

My best friend pulled a similar stunt, she suddenly refused to be my chief bridesmaid and cut all contact. I invited her to the reception and she came and ended up being thrown out. It hurt at the time, but I know it was for the best now and in time you'll feel better to let this friend and the gossipy one out of your lives.