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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to switch to Automatic lessons?

128 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 24/02/2013 15:42

Probably more 'am I being stupid' than AIBU...

I've tried on 5 separate occasions throughout my life to learn to drive. I'm generally a v intelligent & successful person (if I do say so myself ) but I'm an epic failure at driving. I have zilch spacial awareness, my mind totally blacks out when I panic, I find the whole thing terrifying no matter how much I practise....but my biggest nemesis of all are gears (when I panic -which is most of the time driving - I'm far too rough with them causing them to grind) & stalling. I stall everywhere & it scares me to death.

Worst of all...today practising in DH's car culminated in an awful screaming match when I panicked & stalled at least 6 times at the base of a roundabout. He yelled at me and eventually had to get me out. I was shaking so much I just couldn't get the bite point.

I have to learn before DS starts school in sept. & it would seriously help my job prospects. I only did manual as it meant I could practise in DH's car but if his temperament isn't suited to teaching me that's probably no use anyway.

Has anyone got experience of switching to auto? Would I be crazy?

OP posts:

DrHolmes · 25/02/2013 18:15

Learn in a manual.
Get lessons from a professional driving instructor.
You will manage!
Good luck.

I didnt want to learn but had to for work. Now i can't believe i didn't learn sooner! I did it in a manual and had no minors on my test!
Take as many lessons as you need and the main thing is to keep calm. If you stall, don't worry. Let the other drivers wait.

Branleuse · 25/02/2013 18:17

take as many lessons as you need????

you do realise they cost around £25 an hour, plus over £100 for every test you take

Very happy you passed so easily but ITS NOT LIKE THAT FOR EVERYONE ffs

NopeStillNothing · 25/02/2013 18:20

What is more expensive/inconvenient for you? Not driving at all or driving an Automatic? Because for some people, those are really the only options.

crashdoll · 25/02/2013 18:24

I can't see much advantage to driving a manual for what....the sake of being able to drive a manual?? I wonder how many automatic only drivers have had an emergency that required them to need a licence for a manual car.

DrHolmes · 25/02/2013 18:31

I suppose you are right Branleuse, never thought about it like that and my parents paid for mine. Sorry.

But I have always thought it's better to drive a manual as then you are not restricted to what you can drive and also (maybe this is just situations in my life) but what if you had to borrow someone elses car to drive or needing to use a car in an emergency but you can't because their car is a manual.

Maybe you won't ever be in that situation, but maybe you will.

Anyway it's up to OP but at least get professional lessons. The one time my bf took me out we ended up arguing and I was in tears.

ComposHat · 25/02/2013 18:46

I am quite interested what kind of 'emergency' would happen when someone would need to drive a manual car.

If it is a medical emergency, call an ambulance. If it is anything else bike/taxi/bus

As far as I can see the 'emergency' doesn't exist.

ilovesushi · 25/02/2013 18:53

Do it! I recently started driving lessons again after 15 years of being terrifed of driving. This time I am learning on an automatic car and I love it! I actually adore driving. I was a bag of nerves before and felt that I didn't have control of the car. It becomes so easy and so enjoyable once you take the gears out of the equation. Also it is impossible to stall or to mess up a hill start. LOVE IT!

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/02/2013 18:55

Not sure what emergency drholmes is thinking either. I have my license for 20 years, driving all of that time. I have never needed to drive a manual. And I have a manual license as said up thread. Also more than half of that time I was living in Auckland where you can't live without a car. Still never needed a manual.

DrHolmes · 25/02/2013 18:55

What about if a close memeber of OP was rushed to hospital and OP was round at her mates. Mate had a few glasses of wine and OP got the call to say get to Hospital ASAP . Do you think relying on the next bus, train taxi is going to be the quickest or using OPs mates manual car that's handily sitting outside?

Just an example.
Not coming back to this thread becaus i know the next thing you will says is "if OP was at her mates then her car would be there too".

Anyway, good luck OP! Just get the car you want and all the best.

crashdoll · 25/02/2013 19:03

That's a very specific 'what if' situation DrHolmes. I know you said you're not coming back, probably because your excuses for needing to drive manual are silly. No one needs to know how to drive a manual car. Emergency, pah?!

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/02/2013 19:09

drholmes OP won't be insured to drive her friend's car. Maybe we are different but I would rather call a taxi than drive uninsured.

expatinscotland · 25/02/2013 19:18

'Just an example.
Not coming back to this thread becaus i know the next thing you will says is "if OP was at her mates then her car would be there too".'

Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?

loopyluna · 25/02/2013 19:21

I just got an automatic after 20 years of driving a manuel. It is amazing and I can't imagine ever going back!
Save yourself the time, money and stress and ditch the manuel! Automatics will allow you to concentrate on the road without the faff of gear changing. Perfect!

Sirzy · 25/02/2013 19:24

I have been driving an automatic for the past 6 years, in that time we have had some pretty big family emergencies yet I have never needed to drive a manual. I could and happily would but the situation has never occurred.

As the op has managed til now without a driving licence at all then i am sure she would find a way to manage in an emergency when she didn't have a manual around.

morethanpotatoprints · 25/02/2013 19:25

At the risk of being flamed here goes.

Some people just aren't supposed to drive and an automatic won't help with your problems of spatial awareness.
I don't drive for these reasons and because no way would I want to be responsible for my difficulties harming other road users.
It isn't just a case of learning to drive and passing the test at any cost, its about safety.

expatinscotland · 25/02/2013 19:27

And she might be perfectly fine driving in an automatic. She won't know till she finds out.

There are very few people who truly shouldn't drive - dementia, elderly, epilepsy with uncontrolled seizures, visual impairments. The DSA provides a list.

Other than that, most people can, particularly on automatics.

crashdoll · 25/02/2013 19:32

I agree, safety is an issue and if you can afford it, I would always recommend professional instructors. But I disagree with your other point. It is possible to learn to drive safely. With experience, you can learn to understand the road and drive safely.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/02/2013 19:35

morethan everyone can drive. I found it is a British problem that people fail to learn to drive. I'm from NZ and I have never met anyone who has not got a drivers license. Except my MIL but she is British and moved their in her 20s. My theory is that we learn young. We can sit the test at 15 but many in rural area can already drive before that.

If there are some who genuinely can't drive, it will be a minority, probably for medical reasons.

morethanpotatoprints · 25/02/2013 19:43

Just because somebody believes they can drive, doesn't mean they can do it safely.

Maybe the OP will be fine with an automatic and the blank outs and panic will be gone. Maybe the lack of spatial awareness will magically disappear

However, I don't think somebody should be on the road if they lack spatial awareness, have blank outs and panic.

It can be a split second between life and death.

OP this isn't a personal dig at you, I was where you are now and looked at my dc and realised that I didn't trust myself to drive them around.

Nolda · 25/02/2013 19:43

Go automatic.

My DH finally gave in and bought me an automatic when he realised he was wasting money paying for the manual car to sit on the drive. I love my new car .

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/02/2013 19:51

I had an automatic for 4 years (car was 3 years old, had regular serives & MOT)

They are a pain in the bum in ice and snow. With a manual, you take your foot off the accelerator, it slows itself.
Automatics keep going (I once tested it out on an empty road.It just kept trundling on with my foot off the pedals)

My gearbox speclatulary died. It would have cost me twice the cars worth to replace.

So it's manuals for me now.

valiumredhead · 25/02/2013 19:56

Just wanted to address the 'automatics don't drive in the snow' - depends what make you have, ours was the only one out in the snow recently, I LOVE my 4WD Subaru especially as it has 'snow gear thingies'

Also we had our last car for 11 years and only updated it as we wanted air con - never had a day's trouble out of it.

expatinscotland · 25/02/2013 19:57

I agree, One, it's a very British thing. From time to time it seems amazingly backwards, non-forward-thinking and negative in some odd respects.

'They are a pain in the bum in ice and snow. With a manual, you take your foot off the accelerator, it slows itself.
Automatics keep going (I once tested it out on an empty road.It just kept trundling on with my foot off the pedals)'

I drove one in the high country of Colorado for years. They have 1-2-3 gears at the least. Some even have all 6. You use the lower gears in snowy conditions or just use the gears entirely in those cars which have 6. The car does not trundle forward. There are such modernisations, too, as ABS.

Ice is going to be a pain in the bum no matter what.

everlong · 25/02/2013 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crashdoll · 25/02/2013 20:08

morethanpotatoprints I used to freak out in the car and I had panic attacks. I've since had therapy and despite holding a full licence, decided on having more lessons. I am far more confident on the road and have a fantastic instructor. It is possible!

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