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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to switch to Automatic lessons?

128 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 24/02/2013 15:42

Probably more 'am I being stupid' than AIBU...

I've tried on 5 separate occasions throughout my life to learn to drive. I'm generally a v intelligent & successful person (if I do say so myself Wink) but I'm an epic failure at driving. I have zilch spacial awareness, my mind totally blacks out when I panic, I find the whole thing terrifying no matter how much I practise....but my biggest nemesis of all are gears (when I panic -which is most of the time driving - I'm far too rough with them causing them to grind) & stalling. I stall everywhere & it scares me to death.

Worst of all...today practising in DH's car culminated in an awful screaming match when I panicked & stalled at least 6 times at the base of a roundabout. He yelled at me and eventually had to get me out. I was shaking so much I just couldn't get the bite point.

I have to learn before DS starts school in sept. & it would seriously help my job prospects. I only did manual as it meant I could practise in DH's car but if his temperament isn't suited to teaching me that's probably no use anyway.

Has anyone got experience of switching to auto? Would I be crazy?

OP posts:
Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 24/02/2013 19:06

Can you drive a semi on an auto license?

OP posts:
PurpleStorm · 24/02/2013 19:08

Do you want to drive a semi, OP?

PurpleStorm · 24/02/2013 19:09

I think you need to take an extra driving test for a semi anyway, regardless of whether you've passed your ordinary car driving test with a manual or an automatic car.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 24/02/2013 19:10

Do you mean the clutch and stickless gear? Then yes. My DH has an auto license and we have a multimode gear car. It's an automatic but allows you to switch gears manually with a flip on the wheel.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 24/02/2013 19:11

Or maybe semi is another beast than those modern flapper switch thing!

PurpleStorm · 24/02/2013 19:12

I was assuming semi as in articulated lorry Blush

cumfy · 24/02/2013 19:21

Sounds like your DH is an arse.

I'm sure you could learn to drive a normal car.
Everyone falls to bits if they have someone shouting at them.

It just sounds like you need a big space off-road and a vaguely empathic instructor where it really doesn't matter how long it takes for you to get the hang of gears.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 24/02/2013 20:09

You don't need to take another test for a semi automatic. But what's the point in using the gears?

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 24/02/2013 20:11

Sorry for confusion - the semi comment was just in relation to Surrealist's post re:a semi automatic being a compromise if I was sharing a car with DH. I'd thought I couldn't drive a car which 'could be both' on an automatic license

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDog · 24/02/2013 20:11

SEMI-AUTOMATIC SYSTEMS With these the driver has to select the gear required by movement of the gear lever as with a manually controlled gearbox, but there is no clutch pedal. For driving test and licensing purposes these vehicles are regarded as automatics. FROM THE DSA WEBSITE

katrinefonsmark · 24/02/2013 20:15

Gears are nothing. If you're finding learning to drive hard, you need more lessons. Just slog it out, go out twice a week with instructor if yo can afford it.

expatinscotland · 24/02/2013 20:16

Because everyone can afford that kind of money when there's a perfectly valid alternative - drive an automatic.

Salbertina · 24/02/2013 20:18

Look if you were in the US wd be total nonissue, be automatic anyway. Every day, longterm "for ever" driving is just something to get done as easily/safely as poss to get you from A to B so yes, why not change to automatic? For what its worth, i learnt/took test in manual simply to have more flexibility but have rarely driven anything but an automatic since. And thank God, its freed me up to concentrate-notice hazards rather than panic about stalling/getting wrong gear etc and one less thing to think about.

NopeStillNothing · 24/02/2013 20:39

We compromised on a semi-automatic family car OP. It's perfectly legal for me to drive it and I don't notice the difference between driving that and a fully automatic.

Vicky2011 · 24/02/2013 20:57

Nameless - do fuck off with your patronising guff

mrsmooms · 24/02/2013 21:08

fwiw, I tried learning in a manual, hated it - felt like my brain would explode from having to concentrate on so many things at once, so gave up and took the bus for 10 years. (To be fair, I think I have a bit of thing about expecting to be able to do something easily first time so maybe if I'd stuck at it I would have got the hang eventually, but wasn't worth all the anxiety at the time.)

Then my workplace relocated so I took lessons in an automatic, found it soo much more straightforward (less to think about and therefore get anxious about, iyswim?) and passed my test.

I often get the comment 'but if you learn to drive in an automatic then you'll never be able to drive a manual' - um duh, yes, that's WHY I learnt to drive an automatic. Because I don't WANT to drive a manual Hmm

WilsonFrickett · 24/02/2013 21:49

OMG go and learn on an auto! I wish I had, I might have passed my test earlier. I hated driving when I first learned and then we got an automatic and it's like a Disney film when I drive now - wee birdies chirriping round my head, friendly squirrels helping me find parking spaces. You won't look back. All this 'must learn on manual, you'll never be able to change back' is just bolleaux. Buy auto cars, rent auto cars. Hardly anyone in America drives gears, don't hear them saying they're 'less controllable'.

pippibluestocking · 24/02/2013 21:53

I did this after manual driving instructor suggested it might be a good idea Blush, never looked back since. Go for it!

Sirzy · 24/02/2013 21:58

I have a manual licence but moved to automatic a few years ago because of knee problems and its great. The only issue I have is finding small cars in automatics.

ComposHat · 24/02/2013 23:49

YANBU. The only reason you may be slightly BU. Is if you and your husband intend to share a car and he would be forced to change his over to an automatic. If you are buying your own car, it is none of his business.

I have a manual licence and got an automatic car not out of choice, (my sister's friend had a car for sale and I knew he'd looked after it) and I didn't realise until I went to collect it from her that it was an automatic. All my previous bangers cars had been manual.

I would have never thought about getting an auto, but couldn't manage without one now.

  1. Automatics are more expensive to buy

Mine cost £400

  1. Automatics are more expensive to fix

No idea, it hasn't gone wrong It is a Toyota, they are built like tanks.

  1. Automatics are more expensive to insure

No difference in price for my car/between the manual and the automatic. Fuel consumption is a little higher, maybe 2-3 mpg when driven around town. No noticeable difference on longer/motorway trips.

  1. Automatics are harder to find

Maybe in the old days when you were dependent on local garages and newspaper classifieds, but auto-trader etc is online and you can specify an automatic

  1. Automatics are more likely to go wrong

See number 2.

  1. Automatics are harder to control

Automatics (or older ones anyway) will creep forward in gear without you touching the pedals. But as long as you are aware of this and keep your foot on the brake or put it in neutral at the lights you are fine. Apart from my clash with a traffic cone There is also less engine braking so you need to be more positive with the brakes.

  1. Automatics can't drive in the snow

It does stop you from changing up into a higher gear than you'd usually use to prevent wheelspin on the snow. But by driving slowly and appropriately for the conditions and you are fine.

  1. Automatic drivers are bad drivers

So by the same token, anyone who has a car with Power steering or ABS or traction control is a bad driver too? An automatic gearbox is just a driving aid to make life easier.

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 25/02/2013 08:23

Just raised it with DH again. The driving school have said I can switch my bulk payment to auto. But DH is still angry about it. He says I'd be stupid to go auto because:
a)it would mean I couldn't drive his car (but he could drive mine)
B)we both get cars via his work. The loan plan is be eligible for with an auto would be about £100 p/ m more because they don't do small automatic cars
C) if I were to buy one a new car is too expensive (plus insurance etc) and an older automatic is unreliable & will cost a fortune in parts

He really feels v strongly about this. He says it's all in my head, he used to panic about stalling too but now look at him driving.

Feeling v depressed about the whole thing tbh.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/02/2013 08:28

'But DH is still angry about it. He says I'd be stupid to go auto because:
a)it would mean I couldn't drive his car (but he could drive mine)
B)we both get cars via his work. The loan plan is be eligible for with an auto would be about £100 p/ m more because they don't do small automatic cars
C) if I were to buy one a new car is too expensive (plus insurance etc) and an older automatic is unreliable & will cost a fortune in parts'

He really feels v strongly about this. He says it's all in my head, he used to panic about stalling too but now look at him driving.

Feeling v depressed about the whole thing tbh.

Honestly, FUCK him! He is not the one driving! Do you work? If so, buy your own car. Bullshit an older automatic is unreliable and cost a fortune in parts. That is a load of typical outdated bollocks so prevalent among the ignorant.

HecateWhoopass · 25/02/2013 09:14

a)it would mean I couldn't drive his car (but he could drive mine) so?

B)we both get cars via his work. The loan plan is be eligible for with an auto would be about £100 p/ m more because they don't do small automatic cars is that true? is that affordable?

C) if I were to buy one a new car is too expensive (plus insurance etc) and an older automatic is unreliable & will cost a fortune in parts rubbish. My hyundai santa fe 2004 with less than 60,000 on the clock cost me the same as a manual, and I've never had a day's trouble with it. Nor did I with the automatic skoda I had before that.

He really feels v strongly about this. He says it's all in my head, he used to panic about stalling too but now look at him driving. well, you might feel a bit better if HE WASN'T ALWAYS SHOUTING AT YOU AND HAVING A GO!!! (that was for him, btw!)

Where does he get his information about automatics from? What is his evidence? How can he prove that what he says is true? How much does insurance cost? How much does an automatic cost compared to a car of the same make, model, mileage, condition etc?

He's really being an arse. Does he actually think that treating you like this is going to increase your confidence and make it easier for you to learn to drive?

spiffysquiffyspiggy · 25/02/2013 09:39

My most recent automatics had a winter button for starting on snow and ice which means the car starts in a higher gear automatically. So that's another problem that doesn't really existGrin

I was a very nervous learner driver and never looked back once I got in an automatic. I did intend to learn a manual once I was a confident driver but by then I was a complete convert and couldn't see the point.

Your dh seems to be getting very hung up on what he wants you to do instead of what would work best for you. What is the whole point of driving lessons? For you to get driving safely and confidently. If the best way for you to do that is in an automatic then it would be daft to continue in the manual.

Salbertina · 25/02/2013 09:46

Think yr dh might have slightly macho outdated attitudes to automatics. Apparently they used to be relatively expensive, hard to fix etc but not any more as most of us have proven!