To want to switch to Automatic lessons?

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Probably more 'am I being stupid' than AIBU...

I've tried on 5 separate occasions throughout my life to learn to drive. I'm generally a v intelligent & successful person (if I do say so myself ) but I'm an epic failure at driving. I have zilch spacial awareness, my mind totally blacks out when I panic, I find the whole thing terrifying no matter how much I practise....but my biggest nemesis of all are gears (when I panic -which is most of the time driving - I'm far too rough with them causing them to grind) & stalling. I stall everywhere & it scares me to death.

Worst of all...today practising in DH's car culminated in an awful screaming match when I panicked & stalled at least 6 times at the base of a roundabout. He yelled at me and eventually had to get me out. I was shaking so much I just couldn't get the bite point.

I have to learn before DS starts school in sept. & it would seriously help my job prospects. I only did manual as it meant I could practise in DH's car but if his temperament isn't suited to teaching me that's probably no use anyway.

Has anyone got experience of switching to auto? Would I be crazy?

tell your dh to fuck off and leave you alone about it. Or maybe tell him that youll try a manual test in a few years if he pays for it, but for now you just want to get on the road.

Some people just dont get it. My stepdad was being really critical yesterday when i was telling him my decision, about my attitude in general, about how i flapped and got flustered and quit my last test, rather than the genius idea of just NOT GETTING NERVOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
why didnt i think of that eh??

Just because some people are natural drivers and are ok with all the background stuff to remember at the same time as concentrating on the road, a bit of empathy to those who find multitasking a little bit more difficult, and we need to get ourselves about just as much as they do.

Exactly! And you know I'm a safer driver in an automatic- less to do so more time to react to hazards.

I gave up on the gear thing.

I am not a nervous driver, but I just did not get the added value of being in a manual car. As I was planning to buy myself an automatic car anyway.

I love my automatic car, I am a confident driver, and DH now prefers automatic too.

For some people, a manual car is more manly, or "real", or they say: what if there is an emergency where ypu HAVE to drive a manual car. But I just cannot think of one such emergency, tbh.

Also, ypur Dh souds a bit of a bully on this subject.

It is not his decision, it has nothing to with him?!

Oh dear, sounds like your OH is really stuck with his idea that autos are unreliable and cost a fortune to fix.

FWIW, I have a 8 year old honda jazz. It's a small car, but has plenty of power for normal driving. Like composhat it has never needed repairing since Japanese cars are really well built. (I think which says toyota, honda and hyundai are the most reliable cars). But it won't help if your OH can't get it on his company's lease scheme and he's not willing to look at getting a second hand auto from somewhere else.

He's not realising how much stress it's causing you.

I had 3 lessons in a manual and was reduced to tears! I switched to auto and although I hate my instructor I have my test this week eeeeek!
I think its just easier and less to faff around with. Also as we get older I think we aren't as gung ho as teenagers are and naturally more cautious so learning in manual takes twice as long as we are paranoid about stalling whereas teenagers take it in their stride.

My nephew who is severely dyspraxic & dyslexic was told by his instructor to change to automatic. Very good of the instructor to do so as he could have had him for a pupil for years.

On another level completely did anyone see Top Gear last night & their car for old people? Lots of foam at the front to stop you damaging other cars when parking.

I learned to drive in the US; everyone drives automatic cars there. When I moved to the UK, the easy option would have been to take an automatic test, but I really wanted to learn manual. I felt I would be limiting myself in which cars I could drive if I didn't - renting a car would be harder, I wouldn't be able to drive friends'/family's cars, might not be able to drive company cars. I'm really glad I got the manual licence in the end because I've just got a job that requires it.

However -if you are really bad at driving, then I think an automatic will help you. Yes you will be limiting yourself, but if you're never going to pass your test in a manual then go automatic. It is so much simpler, you literally just put the car into D for drive, and then use the gas pedal to speed up and the brake to slow down. When you are done driving you put it in P for park. It requires zero brain effort, so you will be able to concentrate on the other things you may be struggling with. Good luck.

So is he saying that out of the cars available on his work scheme, the only automatics are £100 dearer? Or is he saying that generally automatics are £100 dearer? Because if it's the first, that is something you do need to take into account. But generally, buying a general car, it's not true.

Exactly sannaville about the gungho attitudes as teens. I learned at 15 and I was a real maniac with no fear. I would never have attempted the same thing if I was 35 not 15! I remember crashing the car at the lights on my first drive out by myself after getting my license . And you know what, I wasn't even remotely scared. I just appologise profusely to the guy I bumped into. I also clipped my wing mirror, crashed the bonnet so bad it won't close anymore, knocked off the back bumper, scratched side doors. But I was so brave none of that stopped me driving! I don't think I was a good driver until 2-3 years after getting my license. My car was a real bomb after I finished with it and passed it to my brother (who gave it the same treatment).

But nothing beats my friend who took a motorway corner too fast, landed upside down (the car with the roof on the road) and wrote off her car. She's still driving .

WilsonFrickett don't know what's it with his work scheme. I remember looking at a new car brochure. It's about £1000 in total more expensive to get the automatic option. So it's more likely £30pm more expensive for a new car if you spread the payment over 3 years.

Seriously, STOP DRIVING WITH YOUR DP until you've got some confidence back. The hardest part of learning to drive is getting to the point where you do 101 things instinctively without having to think about them - gears, brakes, indicators, road position, etc. It honestly does suddenly fall into place, but that never happens if you have your dad or dp yelling 'mind the kerb!' or 'gear! Gear!' at you before you have time to do it. It's terrible for your relationship - leaning to drive was the only time my dad and I ever ever fell out. It's agony being made to feel stupid by someone you love, when you're already frustrated with yourself!

If you think that cutting out the gears would get you on the road and gaining experience, go for it. You might find that once you're safely through your test and confident about the other stuff, you might want to revisit a manual car. I really love driving, and half the enjoyment is finding the right gear, feeling the engine, etc - but frankly when I'm crawling along in city traffic, I'd happily swap my manual for a little Smart semi-auto...

I passed a manual test almost 4 years ago.
I drove for a few months in our manual car and hated every minute of it. Full on anxiety about getting in the car every day. The whole thing with driving scares me but I think concentrating on clutch control and changing gears made it so much worse.
I haven't driven at all for over 3 years now because I get such anxiety just thinking about it.

This thread has really made me think about trying an automatic car.

Yes, Yes, Yes... go for an automatic. I've been driving one for 26 years now and never had any issues. I have a lovely little sports car that I only get out in the summer and a Subaru Impreza for everyday stuff.

Where do you live OP? If you are near me I'm happy to take you on the local airfield for a go!

It sounds like my old work where there were a selection of cars to choose from, rather than you being able to buy any car you wanted. In that case, it may well be that the auto is more expensive, but if you were to buy from a dealer that may not be the case - it's just that there is a particular range of options to chose from on the work scheme. Of course, you could shop around for a loan elsewhere, I seem to remember my work scheme wasn't that good a deal once you really got down to the details.

Good advice OP.

If you really think that you want to just stick to automatics then go for the test. You can always take the manual test later on when you are more confident.

Me and DH both passed the manual test -and drove manuals for years, and years (I passed in 1986 old git). For the past 4 years both our cars are automatics (clutchless manual to be precise) and it is so much simpler. I am sure that I could still manage a gear stick if necessary. More and more cars now come in automatic format - it isn't so rare anymore.

Good luck. Oh, and quit practising with DP. Just use a driving instructor- and get on with the test :)

i drive an automatic
drove manual from 19 - 41 then bought an automatic as it was cheap
I BLOODY LOVE IT

leftmeinsuspenders i nearly did what you have done having passed my test in a manual that i hated driving, except i did buy an auto and havent looked back since. I'm out and about constantly now in my little auto matiz which i love.

Boymeetsworld your dh is being a prat, switch your lessons to automatic and ignore him.

Wilson - that's it exactly. He just sent me the loan plan price list and autos are a good £80-90 per month more ...purely as they only do them in top range models plus I'd get insurance etc free if go via him. I think it ends up still probably cheaper than going elsewhere. So the q really is whether it's worth that much extra to me...if I ever wasn't working I could nt afford a car anyway but I guess if I did manual I could drive his. Now have another reason I urgently need to pass. Don't know what to do..,,

Unless you want something super duper and new, you could pick up a decent older automatic for between £1,000 to £2,000. A shiny brand new car would just be a source of anxiety to me, constantly worrying about scratching/denting/writing it off.

My mum learned to drive (and passed) at 55. She is from across the pond and couldn't understand why the UK still use manual cars - she felt it was all v Dark Ages! Never even tried learning in a manual, and has converted my dad so he borrows her car more often than using his! I agree with other posters-if you've tried manual and it isn't for you, why not? There are some extra considerations in terms of how you would manage if you only had a manual available... But you cope fine now with no licence at all! Ignore your dp and go with what's best for you. What about a taster lesson in an auto-maybe with different instructor too-in case there are issues there?

The last time I drove a manual car was the day I passed the test! I love autos , just get driving you cuold always do the manual test in a couple of years if you really wanted to.