to lie to DD about her guinea pig dying?

[alisunshine29]

DD is 5 and as yet we haven't had the death talk. She is intelligent and sensitive but very innocent and to be honest I don't want to shatter that innocence just yet. Her Guinea pig that she loves has died and if I concocted a story about him having to go somewhere she'd totally believe me but on the other hand I know she has to learn about death at some point and it's better from me than other kids, better while it's a pet rather than a person etc. But still, I know a happy story would humour her and keep her happy whereas she'd be really upset over the truth. AIBU to lie?

Ds2 had a couple hamsters when he was younger 3 or 4 ish.
Hamster # 1 died, I put it in the bin, played it all casual,circle of life etc etc
Ds2 HEARTBROKEN

Hamster # 2 dies a few months later
You have to picture the scene :o
Hight of summer in USA so hot,Its evening so Ds2 in bed
Im standing in the kitchen clutching a dead hamster trying to decide what to do with it,cant throw it in bin like last time. I cant leave it in its cage cos hamster #3 is still in there.Cant leave it on the counter cos I had a cat.cant put it in fridge cos if exh had come in from his nightshift and found a dead hamster in the fridge,I would probably be joining said hamster on its journey to the afterlife.
I was in a dither:o. I came up with the BRILLIANT idea of stuffing it in a tuna can,wrapping it up in tinfoil and hiding it at back of freezer ( I then had to make something tasty and leave it in fridge so exh would eat that and not go rummaging in freezer and find said hamster)

Next day I gently as I could explained to Ds2 about his hamster and how he was already in a pretty silver coffin and we would go out to yard and find a nice spot under a tree to burry him and how he was off with his mate,the late departed hamster #1 and having a blast,all we had was his earthly remains etc

Ds2 looked at me with his huge dark eyes and said " Oh for gods sake mum its dead,put it in the bucket" :o

I had to tell my DCs (both 5 or under) that their nan, great nan and great grandad had all died. Children cope a lot better then adults do (DS1 cried more when his teacher left the school than when any of his relatives died) - you would be surprised I think, if they are older, say 9 or 10 I think it could be different, I was very upset when I was about 10 and my hamsters died as I understood a lot more.

I think at 5 you should tell her the truth and answer any questions she has as simply as possible. DS2 asked if children died and also if there were toys in heaven, all easy stuff to reply to simply.

We said that nanny had gone to heaven as she was too ill for the doctors to make better (she was only 67 and had cancer), my grandparents were in their late 90's so we said they were very old and had gone to heaven. Not sure what I would say if we were completely non-religious though as it is harder to explain in a nice way. The DCs talk about all of them still but not with any sadness like we do, its all very matter of fact for them I think.

I hope your DD is ok about it.

I was 5 when my Nanny died - she'd been ill since before I was born, but I was never aware of it (we lived 2 hrs away). The morning my DGF called, my father was away and DM was alone with me. DM told me years later that when she started crying at the news her DM had died, the conversation at our end went something like:
"Mammy, what's wrong?"
"Nanny's gone"
"Can we go and pick her up?"
I can't remember that morning, but I remember being at my DGP's house when we travelled up for the funeral and a family friend looked after me while everyone else went to the funeral (I was the only child in the family and they thought a funeral wasn't an appropriate place to take me to - I can see their point).

When my kitten was found dead by my DM in the garden a couple of years later, she asked a neighbour to bury it and broke the news to me by taking me out for ice cream. I was sad, but the ice cream helped shallow I know.

Sympathies for your DD

I wouldn't talk about heaven etc unless you really believe in that. Just say the truth as you believe it.