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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's actually easier being single

60 replies

InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:38

Yes ok hugs are nice and so is a shag but having to cook properly every night, clean up more and not have a blah not doing anything night, having to make plans around someone else, clear up after someone else and not have a poo when you need one (because you don't want them to hear/smell) and not pick your chin hairs out while watching telly makes being single best IMO. I can't see the point of living with someone right now...

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 23/02/2013 20:39

Yanbu.

Sex, I can do that perfectly well alone same as changing fuses

LaurieFairyCake · 23/02/2013 20:40

I'm married and none of that applies to me Confused

TantrumsAndBalloons · 23/02/2013 20:41

None of that applies to me and DH either.

apostropheuse · 23/02/2013 20:41

YANBU

It's fabulous being single.

Love it.

stargirl1701 · 23/02/2013 20:41

Eh? I can't say my marriage resembles that description. Although, I don't have chin hairs.

SoleSource · 23/02/2013 20:42

I have been a single woman for the last five years. I have refused tbree offers of a date by three individual men. I am still not ready. I feel far too vulnerable as I am a Carer for DS. Life is easier being single as I have had many bad experiences. My radar is shite.

Yes, is the answer.

InNeed you seem content, for now.

I would like to go a-dating eventually but I have a long way to go before I love me.

Sorry for long answer! :)

Ilovesunflowers · 23/02/2013 20:43

Try paying the bills as a single person. Try having no one to talk to when you've had a shit day. Yeah its a total doddle. Yabu.

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:43

How can you be with someone but not make plans around them? For instance you couldn't just grab a takeaway of something your dh didn't like and eat with the dc without thinking oh I better fix dh some food to/buy a different take away.

I don't mean big things like oh my dh is abusive I mean the little things like only thinking of yourself and not having to get that rugby top washed by tomorrow.

OP posts:
marjproops · 23/02/2013 20:44

Really hope I don't steal your thunder here, OP, but I'm the opposite, (was actually thinking of starting a thread along these lines). yes being single has it's advantages, as you've said, but there's nothing like the love, security,etc of being with someone. sharing your day, I'd be more than happy to cook and make plans with someone, have a cuddle when DC went to bed (and yes, I know a relationship is not all hollywood romance, I was married to a sh*)and being made to feel special (apart from from DC) and would love to have a decent father for DC.

(you can tell I'm having a sh** day and would love someone to hug me and stuff!!) Sad

RatPants · 23/02/2013 20:44

Brandy why didn't you date the guy who left you the note?!

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:45

I have paid my bills on my own the last 8 years Smile and I have friends and MN for those shit days.

Sole I feel I need to love myself to before I go anywhere, I give to much of myself every time and get took for a prick, thats why I stay single.

OP posts:
Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:46

RatPants he was to creepy! I am so glad I didn't, I spoke to him by text off my friends phone and he didn't stop texting and calling that phone for a month pfftt the weirdo

OP posts:
RatPants · 23/02/2013 20:47

Damn, I had you married off!

Sidge · 23/02/2013 20:47

Well I'm OK being single but it's tiring and lonely.

I'd like to have someone to share my life with again one day. And your OP bears no resemblance to what I consider living with someone to be; a partner should make life easier not harder.

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:48

I am to selfish to want to cook for someone everynight, I want someone who would cook for me and make me a cup of tea. I want a wife thats a man really. Grin

OP posts:
RatPants · 23/02/2013 20:48

Glad you are happy though. Smile

TantrumsAndBalloons · 23/02/2013 20:49

Me and the DCs are eating Chinese food and watching "got to dance"
DH hates Chinese and is going to the chippy in a bit.

He's a grown up, if he doesn't like what I'm eating he cooks his own or goes to the chippy Grin

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:50

Thank you ratpants love your name btw my auntie used to always call me that when I was young.

OP posts:
SoleSource · 23/02/2013 20:50

Yes, taken advantage of easily I am too. When I date I multi date.

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:51

Tantrum you had to tell him though yes? You couldn't just come home with food for everyone but him and be like "well you don't like chinese"

OP posts:
MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 23/02/2013 20:51

Not all relationships are like the one described in your op, mine is nothing like that and I certainly don't cook for him or clean up after him!

It's definitely easier being single than being with a twat though Grin

frillynat81 · 23/02/2013 20:51

I like being single and find it a lot easier! I have been seeing someone for about 5 months now and it's hard work lol trying to find the time to see him around work, friends, family, time with DS one to one is tough. We only really see each other about once, maybe twice a week. I don't think YABU!

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:52

Boundaries sole have no idea how to have them, implement them or want them Blush

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 23/02/2013 20:52

Ah brandy my DH cooks dinner most nights as he gets home first, brings me a cup of tea in bed before he leaves for work in the morning and makes me a packed lunch for work.

He also does all the ironing.

Can't shop though, terrible at food shopping. And paying bills. And washing up. And still, after 5 years, can't remember the recycling goes out on Thursday nights.

SoleSource · 23/02/2013 20:53

Yes same here but I am changing very slowly. But still cock up.

I have never cooked or cleaned for a guy!