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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's actually easier being single

60 replies

InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:38

Yes ok hugs are nice and so is a shag but having to cook properly every night, clean up more and not have a blah not doing anything night, having to make plans around someone else, clear up after someone else and not have a poo when you need one (because you don't want them to hear/smell) and not pick your chin hairs out while watching telly makes being single best IMO. I can't see the point of living with someone right now...

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 23/02/2013 20:53

I didn't tell him actually. Although to be fair, I do sometimes.

But we were out and the DCs wanted Chinese so I knew he'd go out and get something else.

HazleNutt · 23/02/2013 20:53

My marriage doesn't sound anything like described either. No I don't clean up after him and no I don't have to cook if I don't feel like it - actually DH cooks most of the time. He is also capable of using the washing machine. I will certainly use the toilet when I want to. Haven't developed chin hairs yet.

I don't think marriage as such is the problem here - certain men might be.

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:54

Keep him away from me tantrum Envy I might become a loose harlot and try to steal him. I want a cup of tea in bed every morning pfftt!

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 23/02/2013 20:55

There are issues with being in a couple and I get irritated with DH on a fairly regular basis, miss being single, etc. etc. But rationally, I don't know what I would do without him. And I think he feels the same.

VisualiseAHorse · 23/02/2013 20:56

Do not care if OH hears (or smells) me pooing. Seriously? He has seen a baby come out my fanjo....smelling my poo is not going to put him off.

(Plus, I have to put up with his).

CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 23/02/2013 20:56

My husband would wash his own rugby top as we both do washing and poo when we want, etc! I certainly prefered to be married but can understand being single preferable to abusive relationship!

chocolatespiders · 23/02/2013 20:56

I like being single although would like a shag every so often Blush Dream of being a floosy when kids have flown the nest Smile

Awizardsstaffhasaknobontheend · 23/02/2013 20:58

I am very content being on my own. Have been for 10 years now. I guess for those that have loving, supportive partners, then yes the single life is second best. But to those of us for whom having a partner has simply meant pain, heartache and dissapointment, then the single life is bliss!

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 23/02/2013 20:58

Nearly 4 years single, and tbh i like things how i got them.

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:58

I don't think I have ever had a normal relationship tbh, not that it's always the mans fault I tend to pick people that have issues so I can mother them in a way, and then get pissed off when I want a man not a child.

I only ever hear of good relationships on MN or my mum and stepdad tbh, most of my friends are single or in bad relationships, don't have anyone whos married off yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 20:59

I actually think I wouldn't be able to share with a man now. It would be my way or the high way I'm so used to being in charge and control.

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 23/02/2013 21:05

there is a lot off pros off being single.

andbi have come to the conclusion I don't thinmbi could live with another man... if I could have them stay over 1 maybe 3 nights week that'd be awesome. ...

I miss knowing some one loves me. the hugs and 'special world' only the two of you have together.

also being alone is so hard when dealing with two hyper boys. no one to phone and rant cry to help. but this also means I have no to compromise with. I can choose how to parent with out some one else having a say if they disagreed.

they both have good points.

SoleSource · 23/02/2013 21:09

I have trust issues wrt to romantic relationships. I find It hard to believe what I am being told. Even on a basic level. My Father is to blame for most of my relationship issues, romantic or otherwise.

LadyBeagleEyes · 23/02/2013 21:20

I can't imagine ever having a live in partner ever again.
I would be up for a relationship, but he'd have to work away and have his own place, and we'd meet up every so often.
That would be perfect.
I love having the bed to myself, the sofa, the remote, cooking when I feel like it, buying stuff without having to discuss it first etc.
What's not to like?
Oh and also nobody being there all the time apart from my teen ds who also likes his own space, though when he does emerge from his room it's lovely to see him.
You are so NBU Op.

HazleNutt · 23/02/2013 21:23

No honestly OP, there are nice men out there as well, with whom you can have lovely relationships and who will make your life more pleasant. Really.

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 23/02/2013 21:26

Oh hazel you old kidder you Grin

Original poster
InNeedOfBrandy · 23/02/2013 21:27

I know LB, if you want to paint your house house bright pink then you can and no one can say anything or have an opinion. You have summed it up very well.

sole I am the same, I'm sure I read somewhere (probably on here) that women are happier and live longer while single and men are happier and live longer while in relationships. Not hard to figure out why!

Hazle I'd love to be in love and have that fairy tale romance but even in good relationships it seems to keep your relationship good someone has to be the boss and usually it's the man.

OP posts:
badgeroncaffeine · 23/02/2013 21:30

Nah, I need sex too often, and not on my own either Grin

TraineeBabyCatcher · 23/02/2013 21:44

Cuddling yourself when you're feeling shitty just doesn't have the same effect.

Still getting used to being single.

Teahouse · 23/02/2013 21:56

Been an LP for over 12 years and no adult in the house for any of that time, and not had a proper relationship for 7 years.

I have had to get used to being single. I would like to be loved and have someone to share m life with but I appear to be undatable. It is not the case there are lots of lovely guys out there...those I have met through Internet dating where either just after sex, or as boring as hell.

Being single does have its benefits for sure but I do miss having adult company and sex.

TheSecondComing · 23/02/2013 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource · 23/02/2013 22:11

I miss snuggling, kissing., talking with a man. I really ache for it, at times :(

LahleeMooloo · 23/02/2013 22:20

It's more boring but FAR easier.

StrictlySalsaDancingDiva · 23/02/2013 22:23

It's easier being single than in a relationship which doesn't enrich your life.

However it's bloody hard work being a working LP to 3DC!

However, have recently met DP who brings more to my life, enriches it and would be happy to share my life with him Smile

foreverondiet · 23/02/2013 22:29

I think it must be very hard being a single parent. DH helps with the kids and house, is total flexible about me making plans, is grateful for whatever I cook but doesn't complain if u don't cook, pays bills etc is supportive if I had a crap day... Re: chin hair type stuff (in my case dying hair) I do with door closed!

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