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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh says rude to ask in laws to babysit once when staying with us for a week

56 replies

hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 14:23

Views?

OP posts:
LaVitaBellissima · 23/02/2013 14:25

God no, It's the only reason we have house guests - free babysitters!

If she was there just for the night, then you would be unreasonable, but a week! Def enjoy a night out!

OddBoots · 23/02/2013 14:26

All things being equal it's not rude to ask (but not to expect) anyone to babysit but it depends on so many things like health, plans and relationships.

WorraLiberty · 23/02/2013 14:26

Background?

How often to they visit? How well do you get along? How old are the kids? Are they easy to manage?

So many questions Grin

Acinonyx · 23/02/2013 14:26

I wouldn't ask, but I would hope the might offer.

McNewPants2013 · 23/02/2013 14:26

I would ask, if I was your in laws I would have offered any way

nocake · 23/02/2013 14:29

Of course it's not rude. My in laws and patents would have no problem babysitting as long as we leave them instructions on how the TV works and a bottle of wine.

Greensleeves · 23/02/2013 14:31

is it fuck as like!

Your dh is being a wet nappy. Kick him.

cornishsue · 23/02/2013 14:32

As a grandparent being asked to babysit would be the highlight of my visit!

When we visit we always suggest it (and can't kick the parents out of the door quick enough!!)

In JMHO it's a delight, a pleasure and never ever a chore to look after grandchildren.

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 14:32

It would be when kids in bed.see them 5 or 6 times a year,

OP posts:
BegoniaBampot · 23/02/2013 14:34

My mum was always happy to babysit when she visited and the kids were little.we very rarely went out together.

tomatoplantproject · 23/02/2013 14:35

Absolutely use them! I think they would be expecting it. If they were just coming for a night then don't but for a whole week that's a different matter!

Longdistance · 23/02/2013 14:35

No, it's not rude.

The rule in my house is....you stay here for free, you babysit.

We have soooo many visitors to our house,as we live in Oz, so if they won't pay or a hotel, that's their charge Wink

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 14:39

Think his dad would think it rude and he does not want to annoy or 'upset' him.am pissed off

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 23/02/2013 14:40

That's the point of letting them visit!

I'm kidding, obviously, but it's not rude to ask so long as you're gracious if they say no.

My mom would be hurt if we didn't 'let' her babysit at least once when she visits.

tomatoplantproject · 23/02/2013 14:43

I'd be pissed off too. We've had both sets visiting in the last two weeks and they've both babysat and loved it - it's the first time too that we've been able to go on a date and just relax as a couple. What does his mum say?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/02/2013 14:43

My dad always pushes me out the door to take DH out when they visit (I'm sure they want rid of us) Grin

Lavenderhoney · 23/02/2013 14:44

I would see if they offered - df wont be out out surely? He'll get to control the remote for the night. Maybe your mil will offer. Or will they want to go out with you? Can you get a babysitter so you can all go out?

Why would your fil think it's rude?

My mil is always very keen and fil also although he doesnt actually do anything:)

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 23/02/2013 14:46

CornishSue- you sound so lovely. I just had to say.

Snazzynewyear · 23/02/2013 14:47

Perfectly standard expectation.

BanjoPlayingTiger · 23/02/2013 14:48

My dad would be quite insulted if we didn't use him as a babysitter when he came to visit. He practically pushes us out the door and generally sneaks a £20 note into my pocket too.

I think it would be very odd if they were insulted if you asked them to babysit. Especially if you weren't expecting them to say yes.

undercoverhousewife · 23/02/2013 14:48

Depends how you phrase it: say "DH and I have been invited to [whatever] on Tuesday, I hope you don't mind if we go. We can get in a babysitter if you two want to go out somwhere too." Leave a pause long enough for them to say "Don't be silly! We would love to babysit and could quite do with a night in."

Whenever we have stayed with family for extended periods - say a week - no matter how much we love them I appreciate a break one night from each other's company....it is so not rude!

emmaliz · 23/02/2013 14:48

I dont think it is rude to ask. When I have stayed with family I have often babysat for my siblings children. I quite enjoyed having an evening without the hosts Grin

GreenEggsAndNichts · 23/02/2013 14:52

shocking. Even my inlaws, whom I won't claim to have the best relationship with personally, would be thrilled to be left alone with DS. We see them a few times a year, and if they could throw us out the door and keep him they would. :) I have happily left him with them on many occasions, though usually not too long at a stretch. We might do a short holiday and have him stay with them, though, as they keep asking for it..

Squeakygate · 23/02/2013 14:53

Rude??? No way.
Does your h think you (as in you and your dh) should be entertaining the pil?
Why not ask them and see what they say?

scaredbutexcited · 23/02/2013 15:03

Not at all - totally reasonable/normal to ask.

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