Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh says rude to ask in laws to babysit once when staying with us for a week

56 replies

hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 14:23

Views?

OP posts:
LightTheLampNotTheRat · 23/02/2013 15:06

Rude NOT to, I'd say.

DragonMamma · 23/02/2013 15:08

I wouldn't entertain not asking tbh. You dh is a bit mad.

GingerBlondecat · 23/02/2013 15:09

Why is Fil staying at your Home if he can't be blowed to spend time with his own Grandkids ?

((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

expatinscotland · 23/02/2013 15:12

Rude? No.

EasilyBored · 23/02/2013 15:17

Absolutely not rude, especially if the kids are all ready in bed when you want to go out. My PILs practically beg to babysit when they visit!

diddl · 23/02/2013 15:24

Rude to ask??

Does he never ask them anything, then?

Did they ask to visit?

Was that rude of them??

Jeez-they can only say yes or no!

Is he frightened of his dad?

diaimchlo · 23/02/2013 15:25

I am with cornishsue here 100% when I visit my grandchildren 200 miles away I take them and pick them up from school and babysit at the drop of a hat. I live for my quality time with my beautiful DGCs.

I honestly think that maybe your in IL's will not be offended at all and don't be surprised if they offer first.

Alligatorpie · 23/02/2013 15:49

My inlaws visit us a few times a year and have never offered to babysit, although when we are their place I usually ask them- dh is a wimp. When my mom comes over, she offers, and we always say yes.

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 16:21

He is scared of confrontation and scared of his dad.rather piss me off than his dad,

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/02/2013 16:25

Why don't you ask his Dad then?

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 16:28

Tricky .....also want DH to man up and do it. His family so think he should ask

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/02/2013 16:32

They're your family too now

I don't see anything rude about asking them if they wouldn't mind, especially since the kids would be in bed.

So woman up and ask them.

worsestershiresauce · 23/02/2013 16:35

I'm with your DH, I think it is rude. If they offer that's nice, if they don't they'd probably rather not. They are your guests, not unpaid childminders. Tell them you will be going out and will get a baby sitter unless they'd prefer to mind the dcs themselves. No obligation that way.

hwjm it shouldn't piss you off that he doesn't want to ask them, and if it would piss his dad off to be asked then you shouldn't ask him. Your kids = your responsibility.

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 16:42

Yes my responsibility but just seems rather unfair that in laws expect all . Meals and entertainment Tec and pretty much ignore . Kids.....it is like a mini break for them......with charming kids around when they want them but not at inconvenient times....

OP posts:
ElliesWellies · 23/02/2013 16:49

Actually, I think it would be rude for them not to offer to babysit for you for one night, if they are staying with you for a week (unless of course they have health problems that would prevent it, etc). Can't believe some grandparents would think it 'rude' - my mum and dad practically kidnap my DS, they love spending time with him so much.

breatheslowly · 23/02/2013 16:59

Normal - we have been out alone 3 times in the past year, each time my parents were with us and babysat. DPIL offer when they are here, but as they typically only stay 1 night we try to spend the night with them.

cornishsue · 23/02/2013 17:12

I'm surprised you think it is rude, worcesterss - I know everyone is different but if I wasn't asked to babysit while I was there I'd probably be upset!!!

To me, babysitting grandchildren is one of the greatest joys in life.

expatinscotland · 23/02/2013 17:14

They are not guests, they are family!

I wouldn't give them the option, just tell them you're going out and leaving the kids with them. They don't like it, they can get a hotel next time.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/02/2013 17:28

I'd ask my parents (well I wouldn't have to, they always tell me to take my DH out.)

But when I was pg with DD , we went to viisit the PIL (8 hour drive for me)
PIL were looking after my nephew, (who they looked after 3 days a week)
I asked if DS could stay to play with DNephew while DH and I popped to the shops.
(DS got on really well with DNephew . He was 2 yo. DN about 4 yo)

FIL said he was TOO BUSY.
These were the PIL who complained they didn't see them enough. But only saw them if I made the effort to drive there.

I thought "Thanks for F**k All" and took DS with me (obv DS upset, wanted to play with DNephew rather than shops)

Original poster
hwjm1945 · 23/02/2013 17:38

I just think that they are getting the upside of staying but not considering us at all. TBH.mainly pissed off with dh. For not asking and telling me we should "play it by ear"'arsehole!

OP posts:
SconeInSixtySeconds · 23/02/2013 17:43

Can I please be adopted by some of your parents/in laws? Or CornishSue?

Not a whiff of babysitting here - despite the fact that dc are 9 and 7 :(

NC78 · 23/02/2013 17:45

They should offer!

Ajobforlife · 23/02/2013 17:53

If it were me I would be kicking you out the door!!!!!!!!! can't believe any grandparent would refuse to babysit when staying with you for a week!

'Nowt so queer as folk'

akaemmafrost · 23/02/2013 17:55

No it isn't. My ex in laws would be fine about it. My OWN parents on the other hand..........

SconeInSixtySeconds · 23/02/2013 17:55

Not a single night ever here.