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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my dh to eat what I've cooked?

45 replies

notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:25

There is jacket potatoes, chicken, rice, cauliflower cheese, salmon,stew & left over chinese. My dh has decided he doesn't want any of that & has made himself fish & chips which hes burnt anyway.I'm pissed off. We have a budget for food & left overs keep piling up. I make food mostly in advance as we have 5 ds' including a baby weaning & it's not always easy to cook when I need to. The boys will have rice tonight & we'll have the rest tmw but I don't see why my dh should eat what he feels like when the rest of us have planned meals!!
rant sorry

OP posts:
Zaphiro · 22/02/2013 16:26

YANBU, and you know it Grin

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/02/2013 16:28

don't quite understand. Had you cooked the unholy mixture you describe in your first line or was that what he or you could have cooked? If not already cooked then why was it a problem for your DH to cook something else which presumably you had in anyway?

Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:28

Thanks zaphiro. SmileIt's hard when the only other adult in the house is acting spoilt. I wish we could all eat what we like when we like.

OP posts:
cricketballs · 22/02/2013 16:28

don't you ever feel like something different? I for one never know what I want to eat and will change my mind very easily from what I originally planned however as I am the one who does the majority of the cooking its my prerogative!

ouryve · 22/02/2013 16:30

If he doesn't like what you're preparing, ask him to meal plan and work out the budget with you.

And if he can't grow up and accept that, cook for the 6 of you and let him shift for himself.

Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:30

It was all cooked & ready for ds' to help themselves. I can't always get dinner done on time because of the baby so I cook when I can, mostly in the mornings when ds' are in school & freeze the leftovers.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 22/02/2013 16:31

Was that lot already cooked? Do you cook it all and then reheat it?

CocoNutter · 22/02/2013 16:31

Yanbu.

Theicingontop · 22/02/2013 16:32

Ugh I hate this too. I make a meal plan each week and stick to it religiously because we're trying to save money and pay debts. When OH doesn't fancy what I've made he'll pop out to Iceland for a frozen pizza Hmm.

What's the point eh! I reckon it's because since he's not cooking it he doesn't know how much bloody effort goes into making a really tasty meal on a budget every day. And he's a fussy eater. Might be a couple of quid for a frozen pizza, but that couple of quid could be spent on next week's budget to make it a bit more interesting for everyone.

Every time he does it, go and get a takeaway for yourself and airily say, "Well, since we're not sticking to what I cooked I thought I'd not bother, join you and treat myself Wink"

YANBU.

Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:33

I think it's another fallout from his childhood. There was alot if them & his mum used to cook a big pot of stew for the week. Maybe he feels like I'm dictating what he should eat. He hardly ever cooks & I make sure there's a variety. Now he's eaten the fish there won't be enough to make ds' another day.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 22/02/2013 16:33

He is allowed to eat what he fancies, I don't think I would be happy to be told what to eat all the time.

Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:35

Exactly theicing. Money is tight & I'm trying to pay off as much as I can.

OP posts:
Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:36

Fair enough if he cooked though. But to cook & someone turn their nose up & make something else is infuriating.

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 22/02/2013 16:39

tbh if all the food you listed was a complete 'meal' I don't think I'd have fancied it much either. Seriously all that plus stew and left over chinese Confused. Could you not freeze stuff and then make some semblance of a proper meal out of the left overs? It is Friday night after all

Pandemoniaa · 22/02/2013 16:40

That does sound a very strange assortment of offerings but I'm surprised your dh couldn't find something to eat out of it. When you say it was cooked and ready, do you mean that all those choices were ready to serve up? Only it sounds as if you are running a restaurant rather than providing family meals.

RedHelenB · 22/02/2013 16:41

YABU - if he is prepared to make it I don't see the problem tbh!

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/02/2013 16:41

Incidentally YANBU in principle, but I can see where he is coming from

RedHelenB · 22/02/2013 16:42

Plus fish on fridays is traditional!!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/02/2013 16:42

YANBU

He can't just help himself to things that are planned for family meals later in the week.

It wouldn't even occur to DH to do something like this. I cook, he eats when he gets in from work. If there is something he is hankering after then he can tell me when I'm doing the meal plan and I will include it.

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/02/2013 16:42

and it seems very early to be eating dinner. I am still at work!

Original poster
notnagging · 22/02/2013 16:43

There are 7 of us. Out of all that I had jacket potatoes with chicken & cauliflower cheese, ds1 had jacket potatoes & cheese, ds2 had salmon, ds3 had jacket potatoes, ds4 had the same & ds 5(baby) had cauliflower cheese.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/02/2013 16:44

Hmm, not sure that as an adult I would be happy being unable to eat the food of my choice if I was prepared to cook it, and it was already in the fridge/freezer.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/02/2013 16:44

Funnys the OP has 5 children including a baby. I think she is doing pretty well to get food on the table.

The thing is, that her DH hasn't cooked something so that there is enough for everyone, he has only made something for himself and thereby scuppered a future meal. That is just rude and bloody awkward.

Annunziata · 22/02/2013 16:47

As an adult he should be able to recognise that money is tight and his wife has made a dinner for 6 people. Maybe you should plan together in future, but I don't think YABU.

Annunziata · 22/02/2013 16:47

Sorry, 7.