to be outraged at being asked to contribute to prom dress for DD (aged 11) by Ex-H?

[Moominlandmidwinter]

DD1 had been at her father's since yesterday, with it being half-term. She's just got back. She's just sidled up to me (I could tell that she was going to ask for something!) and said that her dad had taken her to look at prom dresses yesterday, and he wants me to go halves on a dress for her year 6 leavers' party. I was in the shop in question myself yesterday, as my 16 year old sister was looking for a dress for a prom in June, and wanted a second opinion. The dresses range in price from £175-£300+.

There are several reasons why I have said no. 1. I personally think it's ridiculous that there is a primary school prom. I have already succumbed to peer pressure, and agreed to pay £30 towards a limo. 2. She has several pretty party dresses that she has hardly worn, and would look much nicer in one of them IMHO. 3. Ex-H has our two DDs 3 nights per week, and pays £136 per month child maintenance. Once school meals are paid, it leaves approx. £35 per child, per month, and I pay for all school trips (residential one coming up), clothing, school uniforms etc. I never ask him for extra money for anything, yet he earns a lot more than me. DD is disappointed that I've said no, but I'm currently on maternity leave receiving SMP. I feel angry that he's asked me through DD, and that I've been made to feel like the baddy in her eyes.

So AIBU for saying no? For feeling so cross?

It would be more fun on the coach than in a limo, I'd expect.

It would be more fun on the coach than in a limo, I'd expect.

I think it was and they may have been a bit pissed tipsy on the way back

UPDATE-

The idiot has bought DD the dress. She is over the moon. Apparently, it is floor length, white tulle, and strapless. It cost £175. As DD is happy, I have to put aside my feelings about it, and it's his money, but I'm not happy. Obviously, I will not be contributing to the cost, but it pisses me off that he can pay for something like this, but won't contribute a penny to DD's residential school trip, or buy her a school cardigan. Yet again, my opinion has counted for nothing.

Rant over.

More fool him op

I love this he lets her pick out some well expensive dress then gets her to ask you to pay half

I bet your glad you got rid

Oh Moomin, I feel your pain! When your dd has grown up she will realise you were the one paying for the things she needed, and he just occasionally flashed the cash for things she wanted. You will be the one with her genuine respect.

Just let her enjoy it and try not to feel too annoyed at him, it's not worth it.

Try looking on e bay you might well find some on there much cheaper

How will an adult-sized strapless dress stay up on an 11 year old girl?

Apparently, the shop in question has a small range of younger girl's dresses. I didn't see any evidence of this when I was in there! I'm going to insist that she wears some kind of bolero or shrug with it.

I'm probably reading too much into things, but I think that some of my discomfort stems from when I was with ex-h. He was very controlling in many ways, including dictating what I did or didn't wear. Each Christmas, he would buy me an awful ballgown or cocktail dress, and insist that I wore it for any functions we went to. He dresses the DDs up like this when they go to him, they have to change out of the clothes I've bought them, and put on a different outfit, always something like a really girly dress, rather than something practical like leggings and a t-shirt iyswim. It's odd.

Like I said though, DD is happy, so I won't say anything.