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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to put my photos on Facebook

124 replies

mamateur · 21/02/2013 09:35

We got married at the weekend Grin. I had a good friend visit from the US with her daughter. Her DD was massively excited about the wedding and wanted to be a flower girl. It was an informal wedding but of course I said she could, got her a lovely posy etc and she came into the register office holding my hand etc. My friend has said categorically that she doesn't want any photos of her DD on FB. At the time of this conversation I didn't say anything, her DD her choice. THey went back yesterday and our wedding photos have arrived, and it has dawned on me that her DD is in every shot. I have put our photos on FB because I have lots of friends in different countries which is why I use it, but now I'm worried she'll be upset.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 21/02/2013 12:12

If she doesn't want her DD on facebook pictures then she should keep her locked up

Don't be ridiculous!

It is up to the op friend to decide where her dd's picture goes & in all honesty op, you have gone against her wishes by putting them up already. I would be livid with you.

Take them down & ask her if would compromise & let you blur her daughter's face.

differentnameforthis · 21/02/2013 12:16

I bought their flights over here. I am a very nice friend. Paying for her flights does NOT give you carte blanch to over ride her feelings.

But I agree that if she didn't want her DD in any photos, she shouldn't have allowed her to be in wedding photos which Wow... that SO contradicts your "I am a nice friend" above.

badtasteflump · 21/02/2013 12:18

Are you a bit of a bridezilla OP?

Just saying....

MrsDeVere · 21/02/2013 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mamateur · 21/02/2013 12:25

Big phew, just had an email from lovely friend saying it is an honour for her dd to be in my photos!

See, didn't ride carte blanch (sic) over her feelings. Talked, discussed, resolved.

I think if she had objected I would have taken down the photos concerned rather than pixellate though.

OP posts:
jollygoose · 21/02/2013 12:31

regardless of what people think of the fb photo issue I cant get over how some of the comments border on spiteful.

honeytea · 21/02/2013 12:31

great news!

Original poster
mamateur · 21/02/2013 12:33

Jolly, I know. I play AIBU bingo - you sound like a nice friend, Hmm, etc.

OP posts:
perplexedpirate · 21/02/2013 12:42

Resolved because you got your own way...

perplexedpirate · 21/02/2013 12:44

And I spelt it 'blanche', if you'd bothered to check before your pas ag (sic).

badtasteflump · 21/02/2013 12:44

OP don't start a thread on AIBU if you're feeling sensitive Grin

NotADragonOfSoup · 21/02/2013 12:49

Never made a typo then, perplexedpixie?

EnjoyResponsibly · 21/02/2013 12:50

I'd say luck rather than judgement OP.

Then again as its only 7.50 in the morning its possible she might still be half asleep (assuming she's on the EC) Wink

perplexedpirate · 21/02/2013 12:52

Grin at dragon! I might change to that username, it's cute.
Loads of times, just not this time.
I make enough mistakes without people making them up for me.

imnotmymum · 21/02/2013 13:29

Well storm in a tea cup then

DoJo · 21/02/2013 14:57

Facebook reserve the right to use any photos uploaded to the site in any way they see fit, meaning that your friend's daughter could have her image used as part of an ad campaign or similar just by virtue of appearing in your wedding. If your friend had requested this then you should have made sure there were some photos without her daughter in them for you to upload. I can understand you asking her to bend her rules to allow some compromise with your wedding photos, but I think you have not only been unreasonable, but thoughtless and selfish to upload them anyway without speaking to your friend or even making the slightest effort to accommodate her reasonable request.

DoJo · 21/02/2013 14:59

Well, that will teach me to start a post and then apparently not finish it until three hours later! You are lucky though OP, if that had been me I would have been saddened that you ignored my request (and indeed, my best friend was asked not to put ANY photos of my wedding on FB and complied happily).

brass · 21/02/2013 15:10

YABVU

As others have already said - she told you prior to the event but you've gone ahead with your own agenda anyway.

You didn't even have the courtesy to wait to speak to her.

bruffin · 21/02/2013 15:27

Have to laugh at the thought of OP having her own agenda for her own wedding photos.

brass · 21/02/2013 15:39

you could also laugh at her selfishness, it matters not that they are wedding photos. Not my idea of a friend.

FlouncingMintyy · 21/02/2013 15:51

Your friend should have anticipated this. She was most definitely in the wrong (but I have rtt and see that she has changed her mind).

bruffin · 21/02/2013 15:55

Op did not have a conversation butvthey wedding photos she just had a forgotten conversation about fb. She was not deliberately going against friends wishes when she put up the photos she remembered the conversation afterwards and wondered if it was a problem how is that selfish.
She has now contacted her friend who doesn't have a problem.

Original poster
mamateur · 21/02/2013 16:04

Thanks Bruffin, I'm adjusting my settings to have your post repeated every 9 posts Grin.

OP posts:
bruffin · 21/02/2013 16:12

Can you sort out my typos while your at it please Grin
With the definition of friends like some people on this thread who needs enemies

StuntGirl · 21/02/2013 16:13

You were still unreasonable to put them up knowing her feelings first. As it has turned out (luckily for you) she doesn't feel as strongly as was first suggested. However, you didn't know that until her most recent email.

I am glad it has been happily resolved. Being a more sensitive friend to your friends requests in future should negate any reason to post on aibu again Grin

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