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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think some people attract/create drama wherever they go

40 replies

Schooldidi · 20/02/2013 22:20

and it must be exhausting for them.

Every little thing that goes wrong is blown up into a major disaster. How do people survive the stress when even a flat battery in the car makes your day the 'worst day ever'?

OP posts:

maddening · 20/02/2013 22:21

My dfiance is like this - he doesn't cope with stress - it can be annoying.

HollyBerryBush · 20/02/2013 22:29

DS1 is like this - seriously, he is a trouble magnet. Never involved in anything - armed robbery, he's a witness, bus crash, he's on it, heart attack on the pavement, he's dialing 999, local stabbing, he's sailing past on a bus as it as it happens ....

Original poster

Schooldidi · 20/02/2013 22:44

It's my colleague that I'm really noticing at the minute. Some of the people we work with have massive problems at home and are just dealing with them very quietly with no drama. Yet one woman gets herslef in a flap about everything and never seems to have a day when we don't all have to drop everything to help her out.

Holly I have a friend who is a trouble magnet like your ds. She's got some great stories but I wouldn't want to have her luck as nothing she ever does just goes to plan.

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 20/02/2013 22:46

I have a friend like this. Exhausting. Am very glad she moved away.

WhatsTheBuzz · 20/02/2013 22:47

argh and people who can't have a headache without it being a migraine, bad mood - depression, highly-strung - OCD...! yanbu.

Nikced · 20/02/2013 22:51

Yes, yes, yes But unless you have a cure for them (especially if they are your immediate boss) then I don't want to hear anymore until Monday...when half term ends and the wailing restarts...

SirBoobAlot · 20/02/2013 22:56

My mental illness means I have poor emotional control. I feel everything in extremes. I can't read or watch sad stories as I feel the emotion. Forgetting my bus pass or a drink on bad head days would make me either horrifically depressed or unbelievably angry at myself.

It's fucking exhausting. I tend to be emotionally drained by about 10am!

So before we start slating people who react like this, let's remember that there actual reasons behind it at times...

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 20/02/2013 22:56

YANBU I am acquainted with someone via dd who just seems incapable of even having a conversation. You get a text hours later saying sorry for something I said...she doesn't attract trouble but creates problems where there are none, & inflates real ones. Exhausting.

But I also knew someone who I thought was like this, but turns out it was real & she was actually plaing things down ! Her dog didn't just die, her do ran it over with a combine harvester. The night she introduced her bf to her dp she came back to halls with a face like a smacked arse. 'How did it go?' We asked innocently. 'Terrible. Broke a glass & cut his wrist, paramedics had to be called & in the kerfuffle DM fell face first into the dessert trolley' . 'Right' we said. 'Drama Queen' we thought. Then in squelched pavlova-ey mummy, saying that daddy had called the hospital & a&e waiting time was still 4 hours, did she want a lift back? I was pissed so I acted sooo insensitively!

Original poster

Schooldidi · 20/02/2013 23:01

Sorry if I've upset you SirBoob. I didn't mean for this to be slating anybody. I'm more concerned about how my colleague herself manages to deal with the stress of living her life than I am about how exhausting we all find her.

I'm sorry you are exhausted and drained by your illness.

OP posts:

Nikced · 20/02/2013 23:09

SirBoobAlot
Just like every thread I'm sure there are other people who are affected whether it be via mental health, special needs etc. These people tend not to be the ones highlighted in this kind of post. As Schooldidi has said.

I know two people who love the drama, one professionally, one personally, never just a cold, headache, sore throat. Is flu, migrane, tonsillitus.

I have actually been there in situations that after become catastrophes, is like they dont remember.

In case it comes up yes have DC's/Dp's etc with MH & SN issues/needs.

PatriciaHolm · 20/02/2013 23:21

Indeed. Admittedly I am very far the other way - I am famed for my inpertubability, if that is a word - so I may notice this a bit more than others, but drama does seem to follow some people far more than others.

Nikced · 20/02/2013 23:31

If it isn't a word then it should be PatriciaHolm

DonderandBlitzen · 20/02/2013 23:40

My mum is like this and does have mental health problems. I'm nowhere near as bad as my mum, but I do probably worry about stuff more than average, simply because it is learned behaviour from my childhood. I think if you grow up seeing your mother massively overeacting to things, then you think that is normal. As an adult i've realised that it is not and have been able to react much more normally to things, but hard to totally remove the effects of upbringing though. I envy people who grew up with totally capable/sane parents and who cope more confidently with all life throws at them as a result. They are lucky

Snootymum · 20/02/2013 23:40

I hope I don't create drama, however I do seem to attract weirdos and troublemakers who seem to create trouble for or with me for no apparent reason. I have great friends but every so often I'll just attract a weirdo who either stalks me for a while, acts like a frenemy or causes a scene.

LittleEdie · 20/02/2013 23:41

They do tend to have the best anecdotes though...

DioneTheDiabolist · 20/02/2013 23:46

My DSiS has a terrible time of it with drama. Random nutter in the car park? He's wrecking her car. Knocked down. Breaking limbs on the first day of holidays. Horse falling down a bank and landing on her car as she was driving by.

She has the absolute worst, weird luck of anyone I know.

SirBoobAlot · 21/02/2013 00:01

No, no, not upset. Just saying that sometimes there is a reason.

Personally have never met anyone without a MH problem that does it, that's all. Sure they are out there Though exP seems to regularly be deathly ill with man flu...

Agrestic · 21/02/2013 00:15

I also have a colleague like this (Do we work in the same place?!). It is extremely frustrating and I really feel for you!

Does she have support at home? Husband or whatever.

Original poster

Schooldidi · 21/02/2013 00:19

If my colleague has a MH problem then she's much more cicumspect about it than she is about any other area of her life. I know a lot more about her menstrual cycle than I do about my own, she tells anyone who will listen about the various aches and pains she's got.

She doesn't have support at home and I do think that's part of what makes her flap, everything is down to her. I have been in that situation before and it did make me a little more flappable but still nowhere near her league.

OP posts:

KatyTheCleaningLady · 21/02/2013 00:39

YANBU. I have this tendency, myself, and I try to keep it in check. Basically, when shit blows up near me, I take it personally. Like, a friend was fucked over by her job in a horrendous way and I helped her as best I could but had to take care to take time to clear my head and remember that it wasn't really MY problem. I was able to help her and I even was able to do something about her employer (who was unethical, had tried to drag me into his shenanigans, and I had proof of it.) But, I had to take a break from her and wait a few months before writing the letter that had the proof of his fraudulent activities because I knew that I was inclined to take things too personally and become a bit hysterical. I am happy that I was able to see it, manage it, and deal with it well and I feel I acted right. But, it has only come with age that I was able to cope as I did.

StuntGirl · 21/02/2013 00:43

Most create it themselves, definitely. I know far too many of these drama llamas, unfortunately.

kiwimumof2boys · 21/02/2013 01:15

Theres someone like this in every workplace.
At my last job a drama queen told me and others some extremely personal stuff about her - and her friends - that made me feel very uncomfortable. (Domestic violence etc, family fueds etc etc). There wasn't a week that went by without her having a crying fit in the toilets. Problem was it made her look very unprofessional and our boss never gave her interesting projects, and she would then get the pip about that.
I got annoyed when she said mournfully one day to me (after filling me in about her latest drama) 'I wish I had YOUR problems' - unbeknown to her I was pregnant and had just found out my baby had a 1/6 chance of having downs syndrome. (Luckily he didn't, but was still a stressful time, and I had only told my boss). She then tried to get me to break into her ex's apartment (she knew keycode number) to get some of her stuff back, and got huffy when I refused !

I had another boss years ago who would be grumpy and leave work in crying fits - she was having a 'hard time' with one of our workmates she was shagging (god knows why he was she was a fat ugly b!tch) and we all had to 'go easy' on her as she was 'having a hard time' but only some people were meant to know the reason (the workmate relationship) - but everyone knew !
People like that really annoy me.

deleted203 · 21/02/2013 01:24

I would find it extremely exhausting. But I have to say that the people I have known who are like this seem to thrive on the drama/excitement of lurching from one crisis to another. (Obviously not anyone who is struggling with genuine issues - if you have mental health problems/depression that is different).

I'm like Patricia and noted for being laid back to the point of horizontal. It does make me very good in a real crisis as I am always very calm.

(Idleness, probably, rather than any smug virtue)

AdoraBell · 21/02/2013 01:47

My OH is like this, it's exhausting to live with so I have to ignore him a lot.

Snootymum · 21/02/2013 01:55

Kiwimum, oh I can't stand people who always always seem to be 'having a hard time'. I actually got a PM on Facebook today from one friend telling me to reply to another friend's status as 'she's having a hard time'. I didn't.

Said friend always always seems to be having a hard time, and does make a drama out of anything and everything. If someone says something the wrong way she gets upset and takes it personally

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