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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the lady in the shop shouldn't have gone on about it?

17 replies

porridgewithalmondmilk · 19/02/2013 20:47

I was buying some shampoo today in a well known beauty store and as I was paying, I was asked if I would like a loyalty card. I said no thank you and then I was asked if I would like to make a donation to a teenage cancer trust. I support two charities by DD and also sponsor friends so I said no thank you again (did feel guilty though!)

She carried on trying to persuade me, running through the good things the charity did and I said "no, thank you, it's really fine." Then a third time - "that's a shame, because ..."

I do feel bad but money is tight this month! WIBU? Feel guilty now!!

OP posts:

CailinDana · 19/02/2013 20:48

Don't feel bad, she was being pushy and horrible. I would have told her to listen to me and to stop pestering me. You should be able to buy something without being hassled.

badtemperedaldbitch · 19/02/2013 20:48

They are ruthless! Give then a stare...or bust out crying! Either way she'd leave you alone!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/02/2013 20:50

I think by the third time I would have said (nicely) that I'd rather just pay for what I'm buying, nothing else.

FarBetterNow · 19/02/2013 20:56

I couple of years ago I went camping on a real shoe string.
It was my only holiday for over 12 months and I really needed a break.
I was quite chuffed to have a voucher for free admission into a local National Trust property, but was quite annoyed to be directly asked to buy some raffle tickets by one of the 'naice' volunteers, who was positioned away from the paying kiosk, so she didn't know that I hadn't paid to get in.

I politely declined, but was embarrassed.

ReluctantMother · 19/02/2013 21:07

In situations like that I just say 'I'm not interested' over and over again.

Noodlenoon · 19/02/2013 21:08

Not at all, some of these people are like vultures. Before kids I got stopped so many times ended up with money going out to charities I'd never heard of. Must have looked like an easy target. Now I just try not to let them get eye contact as I don't want the whole guilt trip thing. Or try and look mean.

trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 21:10

I once got into a terrible row in the street with the 'text a tiger' lot. Honestly, pushy ain't the word. In the end I told her to fuck off, which really isn't my style. I reported her too. Oh god I'm bad aren't I......

FeckOffCup · 19/02/2013 21:30

Nah trashcanjunkie I wouldn't feel too bad about it, most of them couldn't actually give a monkeys' about the cause they are pushing, they just want the comission.

Fakebook · 19/02/2013 21:47

Ywnbu. This pisses me off. In TK MAXX they ask you to make a £1 donation for cancer research. I already donate £10 a month to a local charity for blind children. I know it's only £1 but they really shouldn't try to make you part with money like that, or embarrass you infront of other shoppers when you say "no". I always get looks from people when I say I don't want to give to charity.

deleted203 · 19/02/2013 21:50

I'm not sure if it is actually legal for them to do this, TBH.

I know that if you are holding a charity tin in the street it is against the law to approach people and ask for money - or even to rattle the tin at them.

You are only allowed to stand there quietly and hope they approach you!

anonymosity · 19/02/2013 21:53

YANBU she overstepped. There are I believe, rules to do with asking once and letting it go, in this kind of environment. Otherwise what she's doing becomes a form of solicitation. (for the charity, obviously).

Dinkysmummy · 19/02/2013 21:55

I am so lucky to look young sometimes! Most of the street ones don't approach me when I'm on my own because they don't know if I'm over 18 or not (I'm 26!). And when I have dd with me she does their head in enough to say, maybe come back to us another time! There are not many occasions that having a hyper child is an advantage!...
In the case of op... That woman was bang out of order, if you say your not interested you are not interested!

( but I was one of those pushy till people at Sportsdirect who try to get you to leave with a bag ... Sorry)

EllieArroway · 19/02/2013 21:58

Cancer Research knocked on my door this evening. Great charity - absolutely. But sorry, having them stop me in the street is bad enough, but I think knocking on doors in the evening is a bit much. And I told them that.

CailinDana · 19/02/2013 22:02

If anyone knocks on my door I make a face and say "I'm feeling really ill..." I'm pretty sure I do a good job of it, most of them pretty much run away! Shame no one has been around lately - I'm 39 weeks pg and would definitely fake being in labour :) One has to get one's kicks somehow.

jrrtolkien · 19/02/2013 23:58

how about just offering to put your payment for the goods in the charity tin instead. all wide eyed innocent and thats-so-generous-of-you etc

midastouch · 20/02/2013 00:01

I hate when people ask me that i always end up giving them money even if i cant really afford it, they make you feel so guilty. In the street if i havent got money to put in there buckets i just dont make eye contact. I give money to great ormond street and give clothes to charity, but you cant afford to do them all unfortunatly!

DoYaDontYa · 20/02/2013 00:18

Not unreasonable at all , I would of told her to naff off the first time , completely rude to keep asking .
This happened to my grandad in town once , he was been followed by some idiot student rattling there tin (followed him for a good ten minutes) & wouldn't leave him alone so he turned round & said if he didn't leave him alone that he would shove the tin so far up his bum he would just have to open his mouth for donations (iyswim)
In all fairness though my Nan had only died a few days before so my grandad had a good reason to have snapped so easily

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