Is friend BU or am I --a lazy cow--

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

Friend round earlier, her DS & my dd are both 3. I also have DS 10 mo.

Prior to having my FC I was VERY house proud, now I keep on top of things, just & do a 'proper' clean every so often. I could fit in more, but I'd rather spend time with the kids. I clean the whole house in stages over the week as well as sweeping fucking hourly after meals as DS is still exploribg food.

Anyway, I face the kids some fruit & biscuits this morning. They were happy. A while later her DS came over, chewing. She asked him what it was, he said 'a raisin' I was a bit as raisins were not part of their snack, but..

She IMO totally overreacted, when he told her he'd found it under the table she screamed (I do mean screamed) that he should spit it out., NOW & got a bit panicky.

I didn't know what to do, so I joked that it definitely wasn't a mouse dropping, just a raisi from Dd's breakfast. She flipped out, started telling me to pull myself together, not be too proud to get a cleaner if I couldn't cope & a bit more besides.

I was shocked & a bit upset, but haven't taken it too seriously. She's pretty clean, but her house isn't immaculate. I had PND in the early days but have been fine for 6 months now. She left very soon after, even though we'd planned lunch.

I'm taking it with a pinch of salt but I'm a wee bit wtf!? I don't know how to act when I next see her or whether I should expect an apology. My house is quite clean, glitter glue aside, honest!

So aibu to think she overreacted & expect an apology from her!

the spoon thing confirms it.
ask her how often her dd gets ill.
I bet it's often

nickel spot on. The poor little sod is always ill.

She's a rude nutter IMO. And yes, she owes you an apology. My house is far from clean. Or tidy. It hasn't killed any of us yet!

She sounds genuinely ill to me. Emetophobe or obsessive compulsive, and definitely unusually anxious. And not the object of ridicule.

If/when you next see her, kindly asking if everything is ok, because it seemed like a very extreme reaction and you were offended, gives her the opportunity to apologise or explain how worried she is about germs, in which case you might recommend she talk to the HV or GP about it, or be rude again in which case you know she isn't actually a friend and can get stuffed.

YANBU, your friend is rude.

LizzieVereker - dog hair bomb in a toy shop - do you live in my house??

She was very rude, what a hysterical overreaction! Her poor kid.

Sounds like an extreme overreaction to me too.

I think she has problems. Maybe mention that she over reacted if the subject comes up?

why is a 3 year old eating things they find on the floor. Niether of them have mannersi would definetly expect an appology!

I too think it sounds as if she has massive issues, and I do mean that sympathetically to her.

A friend of mine had undiagnosed PPD with her first, and it took the form of severe anxiety. Although she's a fairly good friend, I'm ashamed to say I didn't realise the extent of it. I thought she was a bit hypochrondriac, and coddled her little boy too much, and etc. I didn't realise that she was also so convinced that Unnamed Disasters would happen to him that she would, eg, freak out if her DH used a sharp knife in the kitchen if her DS was in the same room, in case her DH suddenly lost his grip on the knife, and it flew out of his hand and into his DS's face. Totally not a rational fear, but she banned her DH from using knives unless DS was secured in his playpen in another room. It wasn't until years later that she realised that that level of anxiety was not normal, and that she probably should've gone and seen someone.

It sounds like your friend, OP, has massive issues around hygiene and germs, and of course the more she does it, the more often her DS gets sick (my friend also saw every tiny sniffle as a reason to go to the GP, so to listen to her, you'd think her sons were very sickly, where actually they were relatively healthy, she just panicked) so it reinforces her idea that her son needs more care than usual around him.

I don't think she's calling you filthy because she's trying to convince herself that mothers of two MUST not cope. I think she's genuinely so far into a control/obsession thing around food hygiene that her perspective is totally skewed, and she's coming from a place of non-rational fear.

How rude.

Should she bring it up in the future, ask whether she really thinks everyone washes their hands after using the toilet in her house.

Think about that light switch. That door handle. :o

My dc2 stashes food in his toy box and often it reappears days later having been dug out for a snack, he's like a little squirrel.
I found him chewing on a cat stick treat the other day, gross :)

Your friend was rude, and sounds a tad irrational, I agree that there's probably something more going on.

My friends little girl ate a biscuit she found under a chair in the library. My DD ate something she found wedged between the chair and wall in an Asda cafe.

You can clean all day and never take you'r eyes off your dc but a raisen or rice crispie can turn up anywhere and will be eaten on the spot.