Is friend BU or am I --a lazy cow--

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

Friend round earlier, her DS & my dd are both 3. I also have DS 10 mo.

Prior to having my FC I was VERY house proud, now I keep on top of things, just & do a 'proper' clean every so often. I could fit in more, but I'd rather spend time with the kids. I clean the whole house in stages over the week as well as sweeping fucking hourly after meals as DS is still exploribg food.

Anyway, I face the kids some fruit & biscuits this morning. They were happy. A while later her DS came over, chewing. She asked him what it was, he said 'a raisin' I was a bit as raisins were not part of their snack, but..

She IMO totally overreacted, when he told her he'd found it under the table she screamed (I do mean screamed) that he should spit it out., NOW & got a bit panicky.

I didn't know what to do, so I joked that it definitely wasn't a mouse dropping, just a raisi from Dd's breakfast. She flipped out, started telling me to pull myself together, not be too proud to get a cleaner if I couldn't cope & a bit more besides.

I was shocked & a bit upset, but haven't taken it too seriously. She's pretty clean, but her house isn't immaculate. I had PND in the early days but have been fine for 6 months now. She left very soon after, even though we'd planned lunch.

I'm taking it with a pinch of salt but I'm a wee bit wtf!? I don't know how to act when I next see her or whether I should expect an apology. My house is quite clean, glitter glue aside, honest!

So aibu to think she overreacted & expect an apology from her!

Swbu!

Pfb! Tell her to get over herself

Sounds familiar, I think raisins run under the sofa here when I hoover then creep out later because DS (2.8) finds one every so often. All good for the immune system. 5 a day plus dust won't hurt them!

Weirdly strong overreaction on her part. Touched a nerve with her for some reason but I think your priorities sound just right. Housework will be there long after the kids are grown.

Someone at work (who has 3 kids!) told me the following recently:-

When your first child eats mud you take them to the hospital
When your second child eats mud you keep and eye on them that day
When your third child eats mud you wonder if that means you don't need to bother giving him tea!

Seems like an overreaction.

My house could be tidier.

It´s not that I can´t cope-it´s that I cba I have other priorities.

Still, I´d thank her for the offer of a cleaner.

Cheeky cow-get a cleaner.

Yup, the money just magics itself up!

I'll never forget the look on my friend's face when her daughter dropped half a muffin on the floor in my house and walked away from it and my immediate reaction was to call through to my then 3yo DS in the garden 'There's some cake on the floor if you want it!' Waste not want not.....! This is the child who would frequently march in from the garden and announce 'I just ate a yummy flower and it only had one bug on it!'....and who is now about to turn six and has the constitution of an ox. In other words, I think your friend massively over-reacted. She might have meant well, but don't worry about it - kids need a little bit of dirt to help their immune systems!

She really, really overreacted. I genuinely would not have blinked, but I am pretty gross and have been known to eat stuff off the floor myself.

caffeine my DS does eat a lot the occasional bit of cat food!
My house really is quite clean. I have wooden floors & especially now that it's sunny, they show up dirt, a lot. I'm looking around thinking, it's fine. Ill do a deep clean of the floors on Thursday when dd is at preschool & DS is napping so I get a clear run. I do this every week.

FFS I even used that nozzle with the brush on the end when I vacuumed on Sunday so we have clean skirting & picture rails!!!! I was quite proud.

I think she has issues. I just didn't know they were with me! I think she might resent that I don't spend as much time with her since DS was born. We used to hang out more, as DC born one day apart. I know her DH had a vasectomy at her behest as she hated being pregnant so much.

ANYWAY it is out o character for her, I don't want to lose her friendship. So wtf do I do I next?!?!

mummy I love that.

I like
Child 1 carried on a cushion.
Child 2 just carried.
Child 3 carries in the shopping!

She sounds strange. Don't invite her again.

ha ha.
tell her yes you just had an invasion of beetles must have been a stray one. but no to worry as your dc ate on by mistake last week...beats pony in the lasagne any day...

that will have her running to a and e...

don worry about it. find new, relaxed friends...

spiderlight that's outstanding! Haha
I think your friend overreacted, I would have laughed

Dd2 eats so much non food stuff sand, crayon glitter gravel rabbit food I think if she ate a raisin off someone's floor I'd just be grateful it was actual food! :o

Oh dear she totally over reacted and your house sounds fine, god I sweep every day but with small kids food gets in unusual places and a raisin on the floor from bfast is fine.

We don't have skirting board in our dining room as a wall needs to be replastered etc etc, there is a little gap between the flooring (wooden) and the wall, I do sweep but stuff gets in that gap and when dd was younger I found her eating a potato wedge..we hadn't had potato wedges for a week.. She was fine and she is my 5th hence my standards are lower

I get that proud feeling when you hoover skirting and cobwebs and move the furniture to hoover behind !

Oh I just remembered, when dd was crawling she kept appearing with half eaten apples and apple cores, I was like wtf as she couldn't reach the fruit bowl obviously.

One day I studiously observed her rather than letting her crawl about whilst i mnetted and it transpired she was getting the apples from behind the toy box and storage chest in the living room! As her mingling brothers had been shoving them there rather than putting them in the bin!!

Move furniture!?! I feel proud if I move the giant garage complex that takes up half the lounge floor ... mind you we inherited the carpet from a family with 3 small kids so there's not a lot my two could've done to ruin it. Perfect for now!

Cripes, I picked up 2 raisins from the floor & deliberatey fed them to my 14mo the other day.

Only after I'd done it, I wondered what my new neighbour would think, who was round at the time.

Minging brothers

My 5 year old was caught about to eat a crisp that he'd found on the floor of the swimming pool changing room. Me: don't eat that, it's been there ages, it's dirty etc etc. Him: but it's a crisp it can't be dirty

She'll learn.

oh
my days, if someone even suspected a tiny bit that I 'couldn't cope'
and told me to pull myself together, they'd have well and truly shat in
our friendship garden I would be giving her the cold shoulder for a
while, I reckon.

DD (2 yo) likes to eat worms. If she sees me coming she knows I'll try to get them out of her mouth so she swallows them as fast as she can. Been doing it since about 9 months. Sigh. If her child is still picking food off the floor at 3 years, I bet it eats worse things than raisins!

Your friend is unreasonable in trying to get everyone else to run their homes the way she runs hers. We are clean here but not very tidy. Floor is covered in toys for most of the day, I just CBA spending ages throughout the day tidying them away only to have them all back out again in 5 mins. I have a friend with children the same age as my 2 who is many times tidier than me. They often come over to us for a natter and playdate and I know she internally winces at the mess I let all four of them create but she would never tell me off! Even though when she offers to clear up at the end of a playdate and I say airily, ah thanks for offering but we'll do it later, she has been known to insist, saying that she can't handle knowing she's left such a mess!

When I took DS1 (5) to the cinema last year I offered him popcorn, but he decided he wanted some sweets. After the film he commented on the "yummy popcorn". I said "But we didn't have popcorn" and he said "I found a load down the side of the seat".

@ MummytoKatie

In addition to the copious amount of scunge/non foodstuffs which my DSs have eaten, they have also been licked in the face as newborns on a daily basis by a Cocker Spaniel. (This was not something we actively encouraged, but the dog was fairly irrepressible) I was taken to task by a friend for allowing my dog anywhere near my DS when he was tiny, she thought I was dicing with his death..and she didn't even know about the licking.

However guess who's children have had no stomach bugs in living memory, and who's are continuously off school with snuffles/ tummy bugs etc?

In my defence I would never allow my dog near someone else's baby unless they were happy with that - I realise not everyone is as relaxed slatternly as me

If her house isn't immaculate then who is she to lecture anyone else? If she is so perfect then why is it not immaculate? Maybe suggest she needs a cleaner?

My house was immaculate this morning until my mum brought my ds, who is nearly a year old, home from nursery I'm ill, not that lazy! then he ransacked the place! It looks like I haven't cleaned in a week when in actual fact I have hoovered 5 times between yesterday and today! I also now have sticky finger prints all over my previously shiny non child friendly furniture!

So, I can sit and cuddle my now rarely sleeping ds or clean yet again for it to be ransacked again when he wakes...no brainer!

He has also tried a few of the cats dried food when my back has been turned for 2 seconds...he survived and he is my pfb...I think he liked them actually!!

Yanbu...your friend definitely over reacted. Wonder how she would deal with one of your dc finding something to eat on her floor...she has set herself an impossible high standard especially with a 3 year old.

If she screamed then it sounds to me like she panicked. And if she did then I feel kind of sorry for her as it was only a raisin after all. There was a thread on here a while ago with all the "perfect" house people talking about the cost of that and it was quite an eye opener. She should not, however, deal with whatever it is by getting aggressive with you. If she is a friend and you have children the same age it might be worth having a bit of compassion for her. Sometimes all is not as it seems?