Is friend BU or am I --a lazy cow--

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

Friend round earlier, her DS & my dd are both 3. I also have DS 10 mo.

Prior to having my FC I was VERY house proud, now I keep on top of things, just & do a 'proper' clean every so often. I could fit in more, but I'd rather spend time with the kids. I clean the whole house in stages over the week as well as sweeping fucking hourly after meals as DS is still exploribg food.

Anyway, I face the kids some fruit & biscuits this morning. They were happy. A while later her DS came over, chewing. She asked him what it was, he said 'a raisin' I was a bit as raisins were not part of their snack, but..

She IMO totally overreacted, when he told her he'd found it under the table she screamed (I do mean screamed) that he should spit it out., NOW & got a bit panicky.

I didn't know what to do, so I joked that it definitely wasn't a mouse dropping, just a raisi from Dd's breakfast. She flipped out, started telling me to pull myself together, not be too proud to get a cleaner if I couldn't cope & a bit more besides.

I was shocked & a bit upset, but haven't taken it too seriously. She's pretty clean, but her house isn't immaculate. I had PND in the early days but have been fine for 6 months now. She left very soon after, even though we'd planned lunch.

I'm taking it with a pinch of salt but I'm a wee bit wtf!? I don't know how to act when I next see her or whether I should expect an apology. My house is quite clean, glitter glue aside, honest!

So aibu to think she overreacted & expect an apology from her!

at shat in our friendship garden !

I'm soooooo going to use that..

she was totally over-reacting!

jesus! a raisin from the floor in a house and she screamed at him?

does she think
a) it's a good plan to scream at children anyway,
b) that the germs were giving a few minutes before attacking him?

i ate coal and mud at that age, and i'm fine.

in fact, i have a cast-iron constitution, mainly because i was exposed to a decent amount of germs when i was small.

actually, the only time i ask DD to spit out food is if i know it's not edible. (eg a bit of plastic)

and i try to get to her before she puts the cat food in her mouth (but because she's veggie, not because it's gross)

She is a sandwich short of a picnic.

I've got the best one for you, hope you're not eating: my ds, now six (he survived), was cruising round the furniture at around 11 mo. He reached the old festering armchair that we couldn't be bothered to chuck out our ancient cat was very attached to.

My dp said "he's eating something." When I turned to look, I noticed a steaming (literally) pile of half digested cat biscuits that my poorly old cat had coughed up ten seconds earlier.

YUM!

At least they weren't too hard on my son's teeth, having been semi digested and therefore nice and soft.....

My DD2 ate a rasin I'm telling myself it was a raisin from under a chair the other day.

She's 9 months.

Your mate would have died.

yesterday, we didn't leave the house till 12.
(normally leave at 9)
i spent the morning following tornado DD around, picking up after her.
when we got home in the evening, it looked like a bombsite messier than normal!

also, i usually give DD her food on the floor.
i try to put her on a towel first, and the food on a plate, but she tips out what she doesn't want then and works her way through the tipped stuff after.

Had it been a nugget of poo she'd have a point.

Massive over reaction.

She'd have a fit at me. I work from home with DD (11m) in the room with me. She sometimes has raisins scattered on the (otherwise clean) floor. We was it on Monkey Life as an enrichment activity for apes, and it really works!

Meals at the table though. But she has a fab immune system!

peppermint I read your warning & thought that it couldn't be that bad. I was wrong!

softly ds eats everything, all the time. After all the pre-Christmas craft sessions we attended with dd, I changed some of the prettiest nappies you've ever seen

Right, gossiped spoke to a mutual friend let's call her X she said that last time aghast of toytown, let's call her Y visited her, she insisted on checking the use by dates on all of the food before ds ate it! X is pretty on the ball & used to be a chef. She thought it was weird & had been meaning to mention it. X has a dd3.7 & a dd 5mo.

We are wondering if its to do with us having second children & her not. As I said, she was determined one was enough, made her dh get the snip. We mooted that she might be trying to convince herself that she made the right decision & that neither me nor X can cope etc. either that or we're both lazy cows who no longer see filth & green ham as an issue & she is perfect.

BUT this is just a coffee fuelled guess that we've cooked up, so I can't approach it with Y. I wonder if I could manage to tactfully ask if she's ok. Tact not being my strong suit, anyone got any ideas?!

Love the enrichment idea :-) Might scatter food for DD and DS to find, might finally get DD to eat something.

If it's out of character then maybe there's more to it. I would just say "is everything alright?" next time you see her. She over reacted - why should you feel like a freak?

My ds's sometimes find cheerios and eat them - they could have been from breakfast today or yesterday, the cats could have played football with them, who knows. All I know is ds1 has an iron stomach and missed the vomiting bug that went round his class - all of his table got it apart from him.

Ha. DD wandered over eating an oven chip the other day, no idea when we last had them.., 5/6/7 days before was my best bet.

barking, please don't send her here, she'd die of shock!

OP - anyone who came to my house and demanded to check the sell-by dates on the food would not be allowed to come again. I'd ask them to leave, it's so rude and shows either such a lack of trust in me or such total control-freakery that I wouldn't want them in my house.

Actually, DH checks food in his mum's house sometimes but she does actually serve up food with visible mould and has no kitchen hygiene whatsoever - cups and glasses are grease-ridden and have lipstick marks half the time. But we have to go there (very) occasionally as it's his mum. If it was just a friend I'd meet elsewhere.

OOh, the number of times I've whipped the lids of yogurts past their sell-by date before giving them to the DCs' friends (and to my DCs) so they don't notice they're out of date!

What an over reaction.She should be lucky he wasn't eating bits of playdough,flavoured lip salve,wax of a baby bell and paper towels I'm still here

She is a loon and YANBU (and you don't sound lazy either )

best before dates?

the other day at the shop, I was starving and all there was to eat was bread and cheese and onion dip.
it was a sainsbury's one and the best before date was 21st november.
it had been in the fridge that long because I couldn't be arsed to take it out.
I cut the (fresh homemade) bread into sticks and dd and I dipped them into the dip.
neither of us suffered any ill effects.
it's all documented on my facebook. it was on Saturday. my comments were replied to by a mix of "that is really gross" and "so, bb dates are pretty arbitrary anyway" (one of the latter is a microbiologist)

Pull yourself together and get a cleaner, because there was a raisin on the floor? She's a nutcase, who should be far more concerned that her 3 year old picks up what looks like rat droppings and puts them in his mouth.

I contemplated putting a spin on it and telling DH we need a cleaner decided on fact instead. He thinks loon, but then he always did!

He has been making sarky hilarious comments all evening 'ooh, look at the muck on that!' In a camp voice. V helpful. He also pointed out that if we didn't deliberately feed DS the stuff he'd dropped on the floor, we'd have to dip in to savings for food shopping.

I'm still replaying it in my head. The more I do it the less funny it becomes & the more worrying.

I can't help wondering g what would've happened if she'd stuck around for lunch. I made a fill tart thing (all the more for me & dc nom). But would she have rooted through the bin for ingredients wrappers? All is not well.

DH also reminded me of how she only fed Ella's pouches to DS with disposable wrapped spoons. But even better how at our Christmas get together her DS spent the whole time eating bogeys.

^filo

I'm afraid if anyone came into my house and spoke to me like that I'd be telling them to fuck off and die, and they'd never darken my door again.

But you sound much kinder than me and I don't have many friends so you'll no doubt take a more subtle approach .

This 'friend' sounds like hard work to me!!