To think it's awful the way some people try to justify their children being overweight

[Tulahoob]

by saying they just "are tall and big boned" or that they "like their food". And by thinking it's almost a good thing that they're big!

I know two people with overweight children. Person 1 has 4 extremely overweight children. The parents are both tall and overweight, and the kids are all fairly tall, but the mum justifies them being big by saying 'They're just tall and they like their food'. It's clear they like their food, but they're not giants, and regardless of height they are all very overweight. The mum is almost proud of the fact that her children never stop eating. It's quite odd really; she's setting them up for a lifetime of having the piss taken out of them and a lifetime of bad eating habits and potentially bad health. Her eldest child even came came out as overweight on those weight/height ratio tests they do in reception year and she was proud of it because it meant he is tall and loves his food.

Person 2 has one son, who is again extremely overweight and is getting called names at school such as "Fatty". He is 7. She is up in arms about the mickey taking but insists he isn't fat, but that he just loves his food. Again, she is setting him up for the same problems that person one is setting their kids up for.

I know we are all blinkered where our kids are concerned. But surely over something like this some people can see that their children really are overweight?

I know a lady with 4 DC's. Her eldest DD has a different father to her youngest 3 DC's.

Her eldest DD is a perfectly normal size. Her youngest 3 DC's really aren't.

Neither of their parents are overweight.

They have a genetic issue that causes them to have a lowered immune system and also to store fat more easily than most people do.

Even on a VERY low calorie but healthy diet, they remain overweight.

She spends half her life between Addenbrooke's and GOSH with her DC's.

So they REALLY do have a reason for being overweight.

But unless you knew the family well, all you would see is 3 overweight DC's. Her eldest DD is an adult, so you wouldn't see her as part of the family unless you knew them well, so you wouldn't understand that the younger DC's have a genetic issue.

Thanks for the link!

This makes fantastically useful reading.

"Controlling what children eat, through pressure or restriction, is common but counterproductive.
It particularly occurs when parents are overweight themselves, have problems controlling their own food intake, are concerned about their child?s weight, or are particularly invested in their appearance"

So all those up thread including worra saying you should stop a toddler from eating a 3rd weetabix were wrong.

So putting pressure on parents to control under 5s eating is actually going to increase their risk of obesity.

And that includes judging the fatness of toddlers on MN.

My cousin was born in 1996.

I was mistaken for his mother on more than one occasion.

He's finishing school this year.

Summer - are you on the right thread?

Whoops.... That was meant for the thread about things you know but still shock you! Fecking phone keeps randomly page changing on me possibly in response to being dropped repeatedly

Sorry all!

If your children are genuinely hungry then I would feel awful about saying no all the time. Surely it would be okay to allow your DCs free access to the fruit bowl. I'm thinking of the slimming world diet which has a long list of foods, mainly fruit and veg but also very low fat dairy, that can be eaten without limit in conjunction with other healthy meals.
NB my children rarely eat enough so not something I've had to deal with.

hmmm 3 tbsp of pasta? DD was eating more like 10 within 3 weeks of first foods.

Oh well I am going to take the advice in the document linked by TSC and stop all worrying about my DD's eating. She will currently eat anything put in front of her (unless she is full) and we don't push her to eat more or stop her eating more already.

I think sugar and low fat stuff has a lot to do with (adults as well)
I read john briffa - escape the diet trap this week and it was fascinating
So more foods now are low fat (and they replace the fat with crap, and we get told more whole grain carbs are a healthy diet along with stuff like low fat spread but as a nation people are getting fatter?
Fat is more satiating (if that's the word) and so is protein. I'm eating low (ish) carb at the moment and rarely hungry. But this week I forgot to take food out and had to go to a local shop - all sandwiches, and salads with pasta packed with carbs. Ended up with a bag of salad and some cooked chicken
But the low fat foods get filled with sugar or artificial sweeteners and the taste of artificial sweeteners makes you crave more sweet things
It's like if you had a loaf of really nice bread, could you toast it and eat it all with different toppings? Probably. But could you eat a full roast chicken and unlimited veg to yourself (including chicken skin and butter on the veg) probably not
I don't know if that makes any sense whatsoever but I can 100 times recommend that book, and it wouldn't be bad for children because it encourages eating fat

3 tbsp is a huge portion. 10 would be adult size! A tablespoon is like a large desert spoon

I would for example do a large spoon of pasta, large spoon of bolgnaise sauce and a large spoon of side veg as a portion for 20 month and 3 year old. That is approx 3/4 of a toddler ikea plate. A spoon full is roughly the size of their fist clenched.

yup I would make pasta and dd would eat off my plate. I would have a large adult sized portion and she would often eat more than half of it. She could make pasta disappear like noones business.

My Ds used to be skinny now he is on medication for his epilepsy he has put on quite a bit of weight which is a very common side effect. He's now a bit chubby but is able to live almost a 'normal' life.

TSC - definitely. Berries are the best to eat or you need to eat some protein alongside. Otherwise you get a spike then a low and you are hungry/shaky again

That info and link about portion sizes is brilliant, thanks tsc, I was looking for something like that as my perception of appropriate amounts for the kids is rubbish.

This thread has been so helpful, thank you.

TSC I think that sometimes we forget to follow their cues. DD (2) is one who could eat an adult sized pasta dish. But, yesterday she ate a couple of strawberries for breakfast, a small piece of cheese for lunch and a bit of pasta and veg for dinner. Not a problem.

However, I have to force myself not to offer and offer because she isn't eating a lot. I have to remember, she ate a chicken breast and potato and veg the night before. She regulates herself. She has followed the curve (over 99% height, 80% for weight) since birth. She knows what she is doing. DH will try to put the spoon near her mouth to encourage her. Can't help himself.

Hold on, I just read the link, "desserts are important" WTF? Really? DD is obviously being deprived.

I have reached that stage TSC! :)

Thanks for those links, very useful. I am still at a loss about restriction though. If I didn't restrict at all, ds would choose chocolate to eat, every.time!
Tonight for instance I served up a reasonably healthy tea. He moaned and whinged -' I want something else'! I said he didn't have to eat it if not hungry, but if he was hungry that was all there was. He cried but eventually ate it and said he liked it. Did I do right?!

cat that sounds right to me....you didn't force and didn't restrict but did stay in control of what was on offer.

Sounds perfect in fact.

I have noticed that DD eats different food stuffs at different phases of the growth spurt curve. She is currently carbohydrate mad. Made vege fajetas for dinner and she disappeared the tortilla at the speed of light then the cheese and then grudgingly the vegetables last. And didn't touch the dips...normally it is all about the dips...even if she has to use a spoon. Then she ate 3 mini yogurts. And refusing all fruit today...normally she is such a fruit fiend.

It feels nice to trust her again...and my instincts.

My dd2 is overweight. The reason is she likes her food. I don't think it's a terrible or unreasonable thing to say, it's the truth! Dd1 is slim and it's because food is far less important to her.

Since she was born dd2 (now 6) has loved food. She breastfed like a champ, when she went to nursery I expressed and could hardly keep up with demand. The nursery staff commented on how she'd finish the bottles. When she became a toddler, she was a child who could not skip meals and would become very cranky if a meal was late. Now at school, teachers also comment on how 'well' she eats. Whe we go to parties, she's always looking for opportunities to get her hands on junk. When I ask her how school was, she tells me what she had for lunch. I notice that she does eat more compared with her friends, she's the child who almost invariably finishes her plate.

So what do you do? She loves her food! She doesn't eat junk, we eat quite healthily, we don't have tv, we try to be active. For example, today she had for breakfast a slice of homemade whole meal bread with 100% peanut peanut butter and sliced banana and a cup of cocoa (cocoa powder, teaspoon of sugar, 1% milk). For lunch she had poached salmon, asparagus, broccoli and half a corn on the cob - filled up a side plate. She polished it off, said she was still hungry so got a spoonful of salmon and munched her way through the remaing broccoli. Orange for afternoon snack. Supper was homemade whole wheat mushroom and garlic pizza (using low fat mozzarella) and a tomato, pepper and coriander salad. She got 2 slices which filled up half a side plate and a large helping of salad. She wanted more when she was done so I offered her salad and she polished off another large helping.

I think it's quite a lot of food for a 6 year old but I don't want her going hungry. At the moment she has a healthy relationship with food, she just gets a lot of enjoyment out of it and she will happily tuck into healthy options (although with a strong preference for junk if she can get it!). I feel if I start restricting it then she'll feel deprived. There are worse things in life than beng a bit overweight! I've noticed, for example, that she's a lot fitter than many of her friends. She's got way more stamina. We often take our dog on 3 or 4 mile walks which she does easily, we've taken her friends with us on occasion and quite a few cant keep up the pace like she can - and being unfit is also a risk factor for ill health.

So, op, that long post is just to say perhaps judge less? Children who love food do find it harder to control themselves and even with a healthy diet and exercise will tend to be heavier than children who like food less. It's even harder these days with the access to snacks and junk food, often outside of the home environment.