To think it's awful the way some people try to justify their children being overweight

[Tulahoob]

by saying they just "are tall and big boned" or that they "like their food". And by thinking it's almost a good thing that they're big!

I know two people with overweight children. Person 1 has 4 extremely overweight children. The parents are both tall and overweight, and the kids are all fairly tall, but the mum justifies them being big by saying 'They're just tall and they like their food'. It's clear they like their food, but they're not giants, and regardless of height they are all very overweight. The mum is almost proud of the fact that her children never stop eating. It's quite odd really; she's setting them up for a lifetime of having the piss taken out of them and a lifetime of bad eating habits and potentially bad health. Her eldest child even came came out as overweight on those weight/height ratio tests they do in reception year and she was proud of it because it meant he is tall and loves his food.

Person 2 has one son, who is again extremely overweight and is getting called names at school such as "Fatty". He is 7. She is up in arms about the mickey taking but insists he isn't fat, but that he just loves his food. Again, she is setting him up for the same problems that person one is setting their kids up for.

I know we are all blinkered where our kids are concerned. But surely over something like this some people can see that their children really are overweight?

ICBINEG - if DS was still saying he was hungry after a reasonable portion of dinner (eg. I use Ikea children's plates) and a piece of fruit/portion of yoghurt for pudding, I would offer some more vegetables. Usually that sorts out genuine hunger from hungry for a biscuit.

I think you can be child-led while breastfeeding, but if bottle feeding or giving solid food then you have to exercise portion control.

I am hugely over weight.

and I blame my parents for my health issues. I was a very fat child. I rarely sure ethier of them and they treated with sweets and crap to make up for it.

its left me with huge food issues. and In being honest I treat with food to. weather it be sweets or fruit or food.

I am so determined not to let my children be fat and as it is they are both thin and do not sit down for long so always on the go.

Iv put a no sweets but on a weekend and rarely have Chrisp or craps in the house. as it goes they don't eat a lot but will eat little and often.. think grazors. Antrim thankfully they have a love for vegetables.

I would prefer to see a over weight child or a under fed one. but it causes so many issues. not just physically but my self esteem is non existent. all has been. both are sad to see.

I agree. The only food I have ever been child led on is breast milk. I manage portion control in a similar way to majablene. I think dietary advice for children needs to change with less emphasis being placed on healthy snacks and more being placed on eating decent meals.

The biggest change needed is cultural though which takes time. I realise it isn't easy to resist demands for food all the time when advertising, peer pressure etc. are all bearing down.

I have been very careful to never force or encourage my Dc to finish what is on their plate or make an issue out of food. I am overweight and do are real issues with food, presumably because food was used as both a punishment and a treat when I was a child and also because we were forced to clear our plates, even if that meant sitting sobbing at the table for hours. we are also doing BLW with DD and any future DC in the hope that they will more easily learn to regulate their own appetites.

I have to admit, at times my DC eat ridiculous amounts, mostly healthy stuff, occasional junk, but at others they barely eat anything, presumably as they are acting to hunger. They are all as thin as rakes too.

I do have a friend who says her very overweight son is just 'big' and that he eats healthily and not loads, but then at other times 'boasts' about how many roast potatoes etc he will eat. I think she just doesn't want to admit her child is overweight and also has a different idea of a healthy diet to me.

Rude? Oh OP you are funny. You start a post talking about people and their kids being fat and you think I'm rude? This is AIBU - where if you post offensive messages you run the risk of other people calling you on it.

MajaBiene - she said keep doing what you are doing and if at all possible up the exercise. DD had a question. She asked "why do my friends have cakes and crisps in their lunchbox, yet they are not fat, and I'm not allowed any, and I am?" and I could have kissed that woman because she told the truth "Some people are naturally thin, but you will always have to be careful what you eat, its just the way you are".

But of course, that's not what people want to hear. I understand.

I think it often starts to go wrong for people with the way babies are bottlefed (which is also a cultural thing) - encouraging quick consumption of huge bottles 4 or 5oz apart. They drink so quickly they can barely have a chance to realise they are full, finishing whole bottles in 5 minutes - and parents then mistake the desire to suckle for hunger.

I agree something needs to be done about advertising. Obviously many people are t influenced. I'm
Certainly not but we all dread that trip to the supermarket as everything aimed at children is neon. Like cereal can't be eaten without cartoon characters on it and milk shakes have to glow in the dark. Why food can't be made appealing without shaping into dinosaurs or looking radio active I don't know. It's aimed at getting the kids hounding parents for crap. sweets at eye level etc why can't pre packaged kids food just be made healthy.

BurningBridges - why not reduce the amount of food you give your children if they are getting fat on the amount they have now?

ICBINEG - the OP asked surely people can see their children are overweight. Yes they can. Maybe their jolly answers are trying to protect their kids from spiteful opinions like that of Tulahoob. I can't say, most people are supportive to me, others mostly mind their own business. Maybe behind my back there are many Tulahoobs.

Bet you never thought of that gem, Burning

Dd is 9 and frequently has to wear age 11 clothes to fit round her weight.

But her bmi is slap bang in middle of healthy range, I keep an eye on it and make sure she has healthy food options - changed from school dinners to packed lunches, keep an eye on portion size etc.

She has a wide abdomen. Always has had, from scan pics to birth (weighed 6 10 so not hefty). I see pics of myself at a similar age and I had similar abdominal proportion. Am size 10 and well within the healthy bmi range.

I hate buying clothes that are so much bigger in age terms than her real age. I feel worried for her and concerned that she will pick up on it and worry herself. I had an eating disorder as a teen. I don't want her to feel the same way about hers,ef as I did about myself.

Ds1 and ds2 are ribby and lean. Just like my brothers. Not fair!

I have a fucked up relationship with food. And am concerned that my own insecurities men that I almost see dd as an extension of myself and that her having a round middle is a reflection on my parenting. So I probably am defensive. Incidentally, I am quite big boned. Broad shoulders and thick wrists.

MajaBiene - did you not read what I said? Or did you just see I was fat, my kids are fat, and feel happy that you can put me right? I have always restricted their intake. If I did so any more then they wouldn't be getting the minimum intake for a child.

TobyLerone I thank all the gods that be that I can receive such wisdom. Eat less, exercise more?! That is some radical thinking there.

BurningBridges, so they are eating more calories than they use, but they already get the minimum? Definitely need to start using some more calories then.

Burningbridges has been to a dietician. An expert. Yet some of you think you have better advice for her?? Burningbridges my dd8 asked a dietician exactly the same question yours did, and got the same answer. Pm me if you want a chat. I'm going to back away from this thread now, some people just don't get it.

If you already know that your children need to eat less and exercise more, why don't you do it? It does your children no favours to allow them to become overweight.

And again, MajaBiene has come to the rescue! So if they already do swimming, trampolining, dance and gymnastics do you think I should cut down on the hours they sleep, or take them out of school and push them up and down the high street with a stick?

Ffs maja. Are you having reading comprehension issues?

Eglantyne thank you - I think most people do get what we are saying very well, but they like to think they have the moral high ground, because it enables the pointing and staring.

I'm off too but only because I have to put the hoover round.

Waist. Not weight.

Burning Bridges: "She asked "why do my friends have cakes and crisps in their lunchbox, yet they are not fat, and I'm not allowed any, and I am?" "

[weeps for BB's child]

I know, some people just do put weight on more than others, and it is cruel not to admit this or suggest otherwise.

TobyLerone - you say your overweight child eats "normal portions" and you don't know why she is overweight. She is overweight because she eats too much - it doesn't matter if it is too much healthy food or too much crap, if she consumes more calories than she uses then she will get fat. So either you decrease portion sizes or increase exercise.

burning has the dr ruled out thyroid problems etc that could be the cause. If the diet and excercise is not helping your children there just be a medical reason behind it? Has he done all medical tests or has he dismissed testing due to age?

Fwiw the dietician sounds rubbish there just have been something else they could have suggested :(

The fact is though.... Guidelines amounts are just that.

If I or dd ate 'guideline' amounts we'd be fat, we have low metabolisms and need very little food. My father is the same

So just because the child is eating what seems like a small amount, if that child is overweight the fact is they are eating more calories than is necessary to maintain their metabolism and the excess is stored as fat.

People see how little dd and I eat and are but it's enough for us and as we've never trained our stomachs to accept more food we maintain a healthy weight.

I'm big, DH is big DD was 10lb 4 at birth and never stops eating shes a tiny tiny little thing with a lower end of healthy BMI. People never believe how much she eats until they witness it. She just never stops moving either and eats well.

My friends children though are all overweight and most of the DD's clothes are given to my DD when she grows out of them which is sadly always waist wise both children are the same age. Its just again that her children are more conditioned to sit on the sofa and play on the Xbox than run around they're not actually allowed to play outside for various stupid reasons they also eat a lot of junk food and never actually seem to stop eating unhealthy snacks.

YANBU its a rotten thing to do to your children and something that is likely to carry on through the next generations it did with my Nan, Mother and Myself the only reason its been broken now is good genetics and a person with a huge interest and the willingness to learn to feed her family well.