Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

Another thoughtless example of DP's selfishness

113 replies

mumstonic · 18/02/2013 22:42

Its my birthday tomorrow. .

DP turned to me a moment ago and said "so, what do you want for your birthday then?"

Translated this means: I haven't got you anything, but I have asked so don't say I didn't try.

My obvious look of disappointment then prompted him to sulk like a child. No doubt my fault for not giving him clear present buying instructions. Arse.

AIBU to be just a little bit pissed off?

OP posts:

Report

wineandroses · 19/02/2013 19:30

Op, please don't wait around at home, take your DC out for a nice meal (even if it's just somewhere like Nandos or Wagamama - kids love those places). Assuming your DC aren't tiny. Though even if they are - one late night won't do any harm.

Does your arse of a husband have any redeeming features? He sounds like a mean, sulky twat to me. And I can't abide meanness - generally it's indicative of a lack of generosity in many things, especially kindness.

Catchingmockingbirds · 19/02/2013 19:47

Hopefully the OP hasn't came back yet as she's at her surprise party thrown by her DP.

AScorpionPitForMimes · 19/02/2013 20:03

DH and I don't make a big fuss about birthdays, but we definitely get cards and a thoughtful present. It's tricky for DH, because he doesn't drive and there's not much in the way of shops, so he tends to give me money to choose something - but this is fine by me, because you can never have too many pairs of earrings or shoes.

Thing is, this works for us and is by mutual agreement. The OP's OH is just a selfish twat.

Sugarice · 19/02/2013 20:06

What a spiteful git he is.

Hope your lack of reply is because you're out having a nice meal.

Update if you can.

deleted203 · 19/02/2013 20:12

mumstonic Happy birthday, and hope it has improved somewhat!

Last year's birthday was crap (thanks to him)

This year's birthday was crap (thanks to him)

Does it not tell you that by next year's birthday he needs to be out of the picture entirely?

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 19/02/2013 20:16

mumstonic I hope your birthday hasn't been a total wipeout. In guessing by your posts you've had enough.

I hope you & the kids went out & had a nice time? Or something similar. I hope you don't end up rowing on your birthday (1 day a year to be put first is that too much to ask fluckered ?)just ignore him & row tomorrow. x

Snazzynewyear · 19/02/2013 20:20

I also hope you've gone out to eat with the kids and left him to come home to an empty house. Selfish git.

My DH is not bothered by cards etc but he knows I am, and because he loves me and wants me to be happy he takes care to get a nice card and present I will like ahead of the day. There is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate your birthday - if people don't want to that's their choice, but shouldn't make others feel bad for wanting to. It is a fairly widespread custom in our culture after all!

Noodlenoon · 19/02/2013 20:25

My husband believes every celebration was invented by the card industry and that it's a waste of trees. I argue that we recycle but he doesn't seem to notice.

YouTheCat · 19/02/2013 22:28

Mumstonic, I hope you've managed to have some fun.

NotSoNervous · 19/02/2013 22:34

Happy Birthday

Your DH is an arse

starfishmummy · 19/02/2013 22:45

Yanbu. Mine seems to have forgotten that all he gave me for my birthday was a "silly" book.
He did "investigate" the jewellery I wanted but gave up when he realised he would needed to know the size.
My birthday was in October :-(

starfishmummy · 19/02/2013 22:47

Sorry "silly" was his description of the book, which is cross stitch patterns.......
(I do sew, but mixed media textiles rather than cross stitch hence his calling it silly because he knows it is wrong)

mumstonic · 20/02/2013 10:54

Thank you everyone for your replies. Sorry I didn't post back.

I took the DCs into town to buy a dvd and a takeaway and when we got back DP was sat on the sofa. His first line was, where have you been and whats the matter with you?

I couldn't be bothered to argue so the DCs and I ate our dinner in the playroom and watched Madagascar 3. DP stomped around for a bit muttering ffs under his breath before eventually going to bed. Nice.

He has called this morning asking if i have calmed down now. I hate that.

OP posts:

AnnieLobeseder · 20/02/2013 11:01

Does this wankstain have any redeeming features? It's all about him, isn't it?

And if DH ever called me a selfish bitch for "daring" to go out on my own birthday he would be torn a new one and probably be my ex unless the apology was huge and meant with very deep feeling.

Sugarice · 20/02/2013 11:03

mum sorry you had such a shit response from your H.

How are you going to handle this, stew for a bit then forget or not.

What's he like the rest of the time?

ATJabberwocky · 20/02/2013 11:06

sorry YABU,

I tell my DP all the time what I want for Christmas and Birthdays, in fact I prefer it this way because I actually get what I want instead of something I will have to pretend to like. Que present face, when you get that ugly jumper or the wrong size lingerie O_O

Sugarice · 20/02/2013 11:10

ATJabber have you read the thread from the beginning?

Dahlen · 20/02/2013 11:11

Seriously, whether you leave or stay for the rest of your life, not doing something drastic in response to this is NOT an option.

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 20/02/2013 11:16

Bloody hell, OP. If this is the way he treats you on your birthday I can't imagine how he treats you the rest of the time! What a complete arse.

Hope you enjoyed your takeaway and film with the kids. Happy belated birthday

hellsbellsmelons · 20/02/2013 11:30

Blimey - that is the worst thing you can ever say to a pissed off woman. I would be sending a text back saying 'NO! and I'm not going to, so don't bother coming home if you don't like it!'
He really does sound like a total knob.
From now on, he would be doing his own cooking, washing, shopping and cleaning.
I would be on strike for sure.
Once a year to show how much you appreciate the woman in your life is not a lot to ask.
I hope you didn't give him any of that take away!!!
Think about your future and how you want your birthday to be next year.
Work towards that!

simplesusan · 20/02/2013 11:44

Make sure you haven't bought him anything the day before his birthday and let him know. If he makes a fuss tell him that he is making a fuss about nothing as obviously birthdays don't mean anything to him.

YouTheCat · 20/02/2013 13:04

What a turd. You know if he'd redeemed himself a bit by calling and offering to bring home a takeaway or something he could have avoided this. But he didn't. He sulked and didn't bother answering his phone and has spoilt your birthday, again.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Catchingmockingbirds · 20/02/2013 13:34

What an arsehole.

specialsubject · 20/02/2013 13:39

it would be ok if he had grown out of birthday presents - but it sounds like he hasn't.

why are you bothering with this relationship? Doesn't sound like either of you get much out of it.

OhCobblers · 20/02/2013 13:48

Bloody hell, OP. If this is the way he treats you on your birthday I can't imagine how he treats you the rest of the time! What a complete arse

^

I've been lurking and waiting to see what happened last night. Feel very sorry for you OP and hope you don't continue to put up with this. You deserve a lot better. Believe that.

I'm also one of those who believes that it's very nice for an adult to be spoilt on their birthday no matter how old they are. How exceedingly dull and joyless to believe that once you hit a certain age that it's wrong, silly, spoilt or whatever adjective you want to use to not expect your other half to do something to spoil you and show appreciation for you and what you do. It's not just about the children's birthdays.

Your other half gets 364 days notice that it's your birthday, they can always sort something out. Not being able to get to the shops is not an excuse. Not when we all have the benefit of online shopping.

Anyway that's an aside really as the op's other half sounds bloody awful full stop. It's clearly not just about your birthday.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.