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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a bit impatient with really fussy eaters (adults)

454 replies

atthewelles · 18/02/2013 16:25

I'm not talking about people with medical conditions which preclude certain foods from their diet or people who have anxiety issues re certain types of food/ different foods touching each other on the plate etc

But adults who just turn their noses up at anything other than plain meat and potatoes and act as if vegetables, pasta, fish, anything containing spices or garlic or cooked in a sauces is on a par with serving up roasted worms are a bit irritating - difficult to cook for and impossible to please when trying to meet up in a restaurant.

AIBU to think grown ups should at least try a few different foodstuffs and be a little bit open minded about what they're prepared to eat?

OP posts:

LittleAbruzzenBear · 20/02/2013 15:23

Not eating things for medical reasons, vegans and vegetarians I am fine with, but general fussy eating.....arrrgh!

My friend has decided to lose weight by cutting out caffeine, gluten, sugar, alcohol and dairy. She has lost over two stone in two months. She only needed to lose a stone to begin with, she is tall and just needed to exercise and/or watch portions. There is no need to be drastic/fussy. I won't be inviting her for dinner, put it that way.

Everyone has things they don't like, fine too, I have an aversion to raw tomatoes and dried fruit. One of DH's friends doesn't want garlic in food because he doesn't want smelly breath, he doesn't like fish, cheese things are too fattening, peas are a menace, pasta is 'too carb'.....I could go on, but you get the pic. I love food so it's probably why I don't understand these people.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 20/02/2013 16:04

OP, first you call people who don't like something not open minded. You say they are picky if they don't like a common ingredient that most people like. Then you say no, I'm calling them picky if they only eat a very narrow selection. Which is it?

DS is a picky eater. He will eat almost anything if pushed, but often needs to be pushed. He does eat a very wide palate of foods (not blue cheese or soft cheeses with a rind like Brie) and enjoys many, but is very particular. He does particularly like some more unusual things, poke, goat milk anything, sashimi, seaweed. But will turn his nose up at an apple with a microscopic spot on the skin or if a plum gets slightly bruised in his lunch box. I would call him a fussy eater because he is likely to find something wrong with a food you know he usually likes to eat. IMO it is much much easier to accommodate someone with a limited palate than one whose palate seems to change with the wind.

The 'rule' in our family is you are allowed one or two things you will not eat, no way no how and you won't ever have to eat them. DS#1 it is liver and anything containing a strong taste of bicarb -- e.g. American pancakes. DS#2 as I said is blue cheese and brie and collard greens.

Original poster

atthewelles · 20/02/2013 16:15

I did not call people 'who do not like something' not open minded. You obviously haven't read my post properly. I have already explained this to the other poster who seemed to take it up the way you have (the person who doesn't like garlic and seemed to think I thought anyone who doesn't like garlic was fussy).
I don't know if you've read the whole thread but if you go back a few pages you will see my reply. (Sorry, but I'm not typing it all out again).

OP posts:

PessaryPam · 20/02/2013 16:28

Jins Bet away. I'll win though. Junk food is full of gluten and I'm a coeliac

Firstly, I never advocated junk food and secondly, as I am reading about the Armenian Genocide, the starvation they endured and died from, I think you are deluded about what you would eat if you have no choice.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 20/02/2013 16:32

"But adults who just turn their noses up at anything other than plain meat and potatoes...

...grown ups should at least try a few different foodstuffs and be a little bit open minded about what they're prepared to eat?"

PessaryPam · 20/02/2013 16:52

Love the Sean Lock link.

My DD actually is Gluten intolerant with a pukka diagnosis and everything and she is a totally unfussy adventurous eater who just avoids gluten. She is very keen on Thai food as it's tasty and wheat free on the whole.

I have met people who have claimed to be wheat intolerant but who are just attention seeking. They say things like 'since they stopped eating bread and pasta they feel less bloated'. I think it's probably because they were just overeating before.

Jins · 20/02/2013 17:07

PessaryPam You have no idea what I'd eat or not eat. You don't know my back story so why would you?

PessaryPam · 20/02/2013 17:13

Human beings will sometimes even resort to cannibalism under starvation conditions. You wrote 'I'd starve before eating the junk food you describe' and I just expressed my doubt that you would actually do this in RL. It was just a bit of hyperbole on your part. Or do you really believe what you wrote?

Jins · 20/02/2013 17:21

I really wouldn't eat the junk food that was being described. It would keep me alive but make me ill.

So yes I really believe it. Food isn't really that important to me. It's taken many years and a lot of professional input to get to a position where I can handle food reasonably normally. It doesn't take much to reverse that situation. Which is why I probably shouldn't be on a thread full of people saying that fussy eaters are just doing it for attention.

Wishihadabs · 20/02/2013 17:27

Sorry haven't read all 16 pages. But wanted to say YANBU. I married DH largely because he was the least fussy man I had ever met.

I don't mean that flippantly, I think eating what people have gone to effort to cook for you and appreciating it says an awful lot of good things about maturity and attitude to others.

PessaryPam · 20/02/2013 22:05

Wish, it's really nice to just enjoy food and new tastes with friends who like to be adventurous. When I grew up standard UK fare was meat and 2 veg, I remember well the 1st Spag Bol and the 1st Curry my DM cooked. They were awesome and also quite weird compared with todays cooking but were inspired by the increase in travel for ordinary people. Now we eat in an entirely differnt way to how we grew up.

If it's any consolation the worst people I have ever come across for not trying food in other countries has been ironically considering the UK and curry the Indians!

SpinningBirdKick · 21/02/2013 10:42

If it makes you ill or poorly, then I can live withh someone not eating it. I personally will try to eat whatever's put in front of me, just ot be polite.

However.....

My friend (who I dearly love to pieces and is as close to being family as can be) does my little Spinning head in with the pickiness of her food (and she's 35)-

None of the following....
Brown bread/pasta/rice
spices
tomatoes
garlic
vegetable (except parsnips)
water (it's too bland)
fruit (or fruit juice)
eggs
herbs
fish (any kind including shellfish)
custard
jam/pickles/chutney
curry
....I can't be arsed to go on- you get the idea.

We went to a concert last year- it was her birthday and after (honestly) days of wrangling over where we could go to eat beforehand (apologies if this sounds selfish but as a 34 year old I didn't want to go to Mcdonalds- where all she will eat anyway is chicken nuggets and chips- no burgers or anything)- we agreed on an all-you-can-eat chinese.
I know she eats Chinese, so I thought- quids in.....
All she had on her plate was chips, chicken nuggets, 2x spring rolls (which were dissected to remove all beansprouts) lemon chicken (without the lemon sauce so basically battered chicken) and 1x scoop of white rice.
Then loads of ice cream for dessert.
I do love her to bits, but it does make me chuckle how picky she is when it comes to food!

GingerKnit · 21/02/2013 10:59

It only bothers me when it puts me to more than warranted inconvenience, because otherwise, they're adults and each to their own.

For example, if someone will only eat a tiny range of food, they'll have to understand that I wouldn't invite them for a meal, for fear of cooking something they hated, imposing their limitations on other guests or having to faff around making something else especially for them. We just get together in other ways. (I don't count vegetarian/religious/etc. as very limited, btw.)

If I'm eating out with someone, I'm happy to look in a couple of places to find a place with food we all like. But I'm not going to traipse round half the city for it.

But what gets my goat more than either of the above is people who don't like various foods and then go on and bloody on about it. You don't like puddings? Great, don't have one. Hate coriander? You'll observe that there is none on your plate. Neither of these things is a good basis for an entire evening's conversation, despite what a few of dh's relatives seem to think.

Original poster

atthewelles · 21/02/2013 11:08

I honestly haven't a clue what you're trying to say Spooneyfucker. I can't see any contradiction in that excerpt you posted

OP posts:

mamageekchic · 21/02/2013 11:20

I get a hard time from friends/family for being a fussy eater. It's actually very rare that I go to a retaurant and can't find anything to eat but others make such a big deal out of it that I find it really embarrassing.

I don't eat cheese, i haven't since I was a toddler, the thought/smell/texture makes me gag. I tell people I don't eat fish/seafood as it's easier to just exclude all than be specific, I actually do eat cod, haddock (or other white, mild, meaty fish), scallops, mussels. I also dislike lamb. My main issue is that people put cheese on EVERYTHING, and sneak it into/onto things even when it's not on the menu so I constantly have to ask.

I don't understand why people get so het up about it when mostly I'm happy to be left to my own devices even if that means having 2 starters or a combo of side dishes or whatever it takes, I just wish they'd let me organise it quietly instead of drawing attention to it.

FWIW I do eat things like haggis, black pudding, mushrooms, all fruit and veg, sauces/spices etc etc which people commonly don't like.

Original poster

atthewelles · 21/02/2013 11:25

But you don't sound like a particularly fussy eater mamgeekchic - cheese, certain fish and lamb shouldn't be a particular problem for people cooking for you or choosing a restaurant to meet up in.

OP posts:

mamageekchic · 21/02/2013 11:43

I think it's the cheese thing to be honest,it's everywhere! We had a work do with buffet at a mexican recently and there was only one (very small) thing without cheese on it. It amazes me how often people comment on it.

Andro · 21/02/2013 12:17

mamageekchic I feel your pain. The toss pot who thought it would be a good idea to use cream cheese in the frosting on cupcakes has a lot to answer for. Cheese is everywhere, be it obvious (pizza for example) or far more dangerously hidden (a bit added to a sauce).

Having to check everything is embarrassing, being treated like a freak because I can't even set foot in pizza hut/pizza express is just humiliating.

noblegiraffe · 21/02/2013 12:20

People who make pre-packed sandwiches have a similar desire to put tomato in everything.

GingerKnit · 21/02/2013 12:30

If you're talking pre-packed sandwiches - there's no getting away from mayonnaise. Which is practically the only thing that I really don't like.

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/02/2013 12:47

The water one pisses me off as well. And Ime it is always "its to bland/boring" by the people who demand to be provided with cans of red bull instead.

I don't much care if you don't enjoy drinking water I do care if you then sit there having a temper tantrum in front of my children because you want energy drinks or fizzy pop and declaring that you are about to die of thirst because you can't possibly drink something that does not wildly excite you.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 21/02/2013 13:40

I can not abide the 'I don't drink water' thing either. It's freakishly common & startlingly self absorbed. I can understand preferring something flavoured, but point blank refusing water if there is nothing else & you're thirsty (usually accompanied by a strop) is IMO disgusting behaviour.

Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2013 13:41

Do some people really not drink water?

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 21/02/2013 13:49

Yes. Really. It makes me want to punch them square in the face take them to somewhere where clean tap water is not readily available.

Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2013 13:52

It's really nice to have a huge jug of iced water on the table during a meal, like they do in the States.

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