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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask exdh not to put DS in the front seat?

11 replies

FizzlingFireboxes · 16/02/2013 09:59

Hi, my first AIBU so go gently :)

My Exdh collect my 3 dc's last night in his 7 seater, the big 2 were in the back and ds2 3 1/2 was put in the front seat, in his forward facing car seat.

I understand that it's perfectly legal, as if it was a van or pick-up he would have to but he has 7 seats!

My worries are that there is no child lock on the front door, DS can(and does) undo seatbelts, the airbag going off at 200 miles an hour in his face in the event of a crash, also messing about with the controls and causing an accident.

It's just something I would'nt consider in my car so am I being unreasonable by sending a text just asking him not to do it? or should I mind my own?

thanks for any advice

OP posts:

boxoftricks · 16/02/2013 10:02

YANBU however, don't text it to him. Text messages can be taken the wrong way. You should have mentioned it to him before he drove away. Do it when you next see him,not over text

boxoftricks · 16/02/2013 10:04

Just remembered about DS undoing doors, ring him, mention what he's done in your car before, and suggest its better for him in the back, remembering about the child lock, rather than just criticising where he puts him.

IneedAgoldenNickname · 16/02/2013 10:12

I thought the air bags had to be disabled if children were sat there, or is that only with rear facing?

My ex wanted to pick the DC up in his work car the other well which has no seat belt in the front (and only) seat!

DizzyPurple · 16/02/2013 10:15

The air bag could kill him. If its not disabled there is no way he should be in the front seat. That is the key issue here.

Original poster

FizzlingFireboxes · 16/02/2013 10:15

Okay, thanks Box, I did'nt get chance to ask yesterday as he drove off just as I noticed he was in the front seat. I then lay awake thinking about it. I don't want to cause trouble as we have a court case coming up and things are pretty strained anyway.

I'll call him.

OP posts:

BreadForMyBREADGUN · 16/02/2013 10:18

The airbag does need to be switched off if he's sitting in the front. Would make much more sense for one of the bigger 2 to take the front seat though.

auntilin · 16/02/2013 10:19

i think the law is no children are allowed in front seats under 12yrs in forward facing seats/ boosters.
only babies in rear facing seats with air bags disabled are allowed to travel in front seats.

delilahlilah · 16/02/2013 10:35

Law

Actually it is completely legal. Rear facing seats state the requirement for airbags to be switched off. Most organisations suggest putting the seat right back if using the front seat with a forward facing seat.

You could just mention to him: I noticed DS in front seat last week, and not sure if you know, but he can open the door - so it might be safer all round to sit him where there is a child lock. You can always mention potential damage to the car if you think it's less confrontational. Opened at speed, he may have one less door.

littleducks · 16/02/2013 11:26

I'm surprised by the responses on here. It is legal and reasonably common. He may be able to lock the passengar door from the driver's side. Most car manufacturers suggest sliding the seat back as far as possible instead of disabling the airbag for a forward facing seat.

I think you can have a word with him about why you think it is a bad idea, explaining about his tendency to open doors and your worries about the airbag. However ultimately as yu are seperated you can't police what he does when he has ds. I realise you probably don't want to hear that but if you recognise that fact and approach it in that way I think you are far more likely to get an out one you want than if you start by suggesting he is doing something wrong.

PirateHat · 16/02/2013 11:33

What delilah and littleducks said.

Let him know that he can undo belt, open door etc but you can't control what he does and you have to accept that. Especially if things are difficult between you, he may just ignore it but you will feel you have done what you can to safeguard your dcs.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 16/02/2013 12:47

Aside from the Law which is there to protect children I cannot for the life of me see why someone would put an under 12 yo in the front if there is room in the back.
There's a website I clicked onto that says under 12s can go in the front if the rear seats are occupied by two car seats which would prevent a 3rd being fitted.
So if he had a 7 seater, there is ample room. (Though I can appreciate alot of drivers would not want to put their DC in the "crumple zone".
But he could've put the 3 DC in the back seat if only the 3yo was in a carseat. Or utilised the other seats with the older ones.

BTW - WRT to airbags.
Check your insurance if you disable an airbag.
And I've read an article by a hospital opthalmic specialist that one of the main injuries they see after RTA is blindness due to the powder in the airbag when it inflates. So it doesn't have to physically impact on the child. The dust can do damage.

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