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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the most appropriate birthday present for mil from hell

121 replies

plim · 11/02/2013 21:16

So nothing new, my mil is a witch. I actually think she is very clever as she manipulates me, dh and her entire family like puppets on strings. Anyway, she hates me, offered me money not to marry dh, called dh two days before wedding begging him not to marry me saying he was making a huge mistake etc, that she was losing a son and then called me and told me a dark cloud has landed over her family and it's me. yada yada. I think it's because they are a family of top Drs and I didn't go to university - she brings that up a lot. I do however run a successful business but I am not what she hoped for. Anyway, on our wedding day she chucked a bottle of red wine over me - classy, she then ruined our wedding day by crying outside and then there was a fight between dh sister (a bridesmaid) and one of our family friends. Awful!

That's a very brief summary of ten years of hell. We agreed not o cut them off after much discussion and let them see the grandkids although she's starting her manipulative ways with the kids ( told my 7 yr old daughter that she shouldn't eat everything on her plate or she will end up like mummy) and tells my 4 yr old son to ask mummy if he can come and stay with her and she will give him lots of sweets etc etc. Anyway, trivialising for a moment - for the last three Xmas she has bought me the most obscure presents. A nailbrush from tk max with a bar of soap, following year a doormat, and this year a hand towel. Now, dh and I now laugh about it but it is a tad upsetting. It's her birthday next week.......what should I buy her?

OP posts:
mrsbunnylove · 11/02/2013 21:58

you can get a 20 stop 12 month round the world air ticket - a colleague got one for around £1500. worth it for a year's peace.

Wants4 · 11/02/2013 22:15

A voucher for undertakers cosmetic surgery clinic.

LayMizzRarb · 11/02/2013 22:20

A sack of dog biscuits from the pound shop.

aldiwhore · 11/02/2013 22:24

While it's funny and all that I am going to be a killjoy and say if this was a your DH you were speaking about or FIL, then I think most people be telling you that you are allowing this toxic witch to damage your children.

Keep them away from this woman.

You run your own business? You are worth very much more than the bitch thinks. She ruined your wedding day, she tried to PAY YOU OFF, she bad mouthes and manipulates your children. FFS!!

Buy her a restraining order. It's not healthy.

plim · 11/02/2013 22:37

Aldiwhore I agree with every word you're saying. Unfortunately, dh would have to go too, as he is still very involved with his parents. But it's not something I have not considered and if I had my way the children would have nothing to do with her.

OP posts:
GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 22:41

Plim ever thought of emigrating?

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 11/02/2013 22:41

OH's favorite ... a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers, at least she can go f* herself! Grin

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 22:42

Car LMAO!!!!!

plim · 11/02/2013 22:45

Slippers and dildo LOVE IT.

Yes, would love o emigrate and have looked into it. No jobs in our field at the moment but trust me I have my eyes peeled!

OP posts:
ShiftyFades · 11/02/2013 22:49

Rush to tesco and get her some Spag Bol?!!

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 11/02/2013 22:51

A birdbox and bird seed. Least the birds will get some use out of it.

extremepie · 11/02/2013 23:06

I'd be tempted to get some really nice lacy underwear and/or handcuffs/spanking paddle etc, put it in a plain box and give her it to her 'accidentally' ('whoops, I must have given you DH's valentine's day present by mistake'.....)

princesspuds · 11/02/2013 23:10

Maybe this with MILs pic on the head or keep the whole thing and have it on display for when she comes round as they are very good quality.Grin

www.gizoo.co.uk/Products/VoodooKnifeBlock.htm

magimedi · 11/02/2013 23:10

50 shades of grey.

And if you are feeling generous a vibrator.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/02/2013 23:14

A used copy of 50 shades, with pages stuck together, with a little note, "Dear MIL, Your DS, got so excited reading this book, and boy did we have fun, reacting it, Lots of Love, Your sore arsed DIL.

LocoParentis · 11/02/2013 23:16

Get her Dog the Bounty Hunters autobiography, tell her you saw his face and thought of her

aldiwhore · 11/02/2013 23:40

Like I say plim I was being a killjoy. Thought it and had to say it. I'm sure you have your reasons.

Me and the kids don't have anything to do with my SIl, she's poison. It's up to DH if he wants to see her, but not with the children, or me. I appreciate it's not always that easy.... do though please get your children on side, eyes wide open, who knows, one of them blurting out "Mummy thinks you're a manipulative witch and only puts up with because she loves daddy so much and she's better than you" might actually be the best gift you could ever give.

KC225 · 11/02/2013 23:40

I once sponsored a dung beetle at London Zoo for a year for ex Boss' Christmas present

DumSpiroSpero · 11/02/2013 23:50

Great minds think alike KC!

How about this for a charity gift?

Or, cheaper, a cactus?

Beckamaw · 12/02/2013 00:00

Something thoughtful and nice, with obvious urine stains.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/02/2013 00:06

A mug saying "I'm a cunt"

Precise.

FreshLeticia · 12/02/2013 00:13

Charity gift. A urinal in an african city?

StitchAteMySleep · 12/02/2013 00:40

A bottom wiper toileting aid?

Narked · 12/02/2013 01:29

Regift whatever she bought you. Or cut contact, as you're really not doing your children any favours by exposing them to that kind of person.

LeoandBoosmum · 12/02/2013 01:42

A silk gag!